Because I am the Master! THAT'S WHY!

It's MY BIRTHDAY

2011-04-04T16:38:00.002-05:00

Well, I turned a year smarter today, and I must admit that it has been a pretty good day. I received 100's of fabulous birthday comments on Facebook, had an awesome lunch with my super sweet, super sexy husband and it's almost time for my bday dinner with some fabulous friends. Ahhhhh, LIFE IS GOOD!!!!

I hope you all had just as wonderful of a day as I did, if not maybe tomorrow will be better. Just remember to be thankful for the friends and family in your life. There really is nothing more important. I can not imagine not having all the amazing people that I have supporting me in everything that I do. My wonderful kiddo's that brighten my very existence with a smile. And a husband that truly is my soul mate.

SO live the life you love and love the life you live. Be happy with your blessings and understanding in your misfortunes.

And if your a little jealous of what I've got...it's OK! I;d be jealous to.

STAY FABULOUS
LMP

A LITTLE DEDICATION

2011-02-28T07:07:00.004-06:00

Well, it's Monday morning and as I stated ""I'm Backkkkk". Although I must admit that I'm at a loss for words. I haven't blogged in such a long time that it kinda feels like I have lost my touch. Although I'm sure that I can muster up the motivation to find it somewhere.

Not sure if everyone is as addicted to Facebook as I am, but I love that mess. I had hope of transferring some pics and things from there, but was unable to because there was something funky going on with my facebook this weekend. SO, hopefully I will be able to do that soon.

Well, gotta keep this one short and sweet this morning. I have a busy busy day ahead of me.

Blog Ya Later.

It's Been AWHILE

2011-02-27T16:11:00.002-06:00

It's been such a lazy lazy day that I decided to scan threw this blog and reread some of the fabulous words that have been uploaded. I had forgotten how much fun we all had on here and I MISS IT!!!!!

I hope you are all doing well, and I hope I can reconnect with some of my old readers, minus PEG and her psycho family of course. However, if you have ever read my blog you can probably guess that the Saga is still going strong. It just gets crazier and crazier.

So welcome to MY FABULOUS LIFE! Please visit often, enjoy a laugh or two, share your thoughts and stories as well. BUT DO NOT WHINE. IF I SAY SOMETHING THAT OFFENDS YOU, HAVE A LITTLE COMMON SENSE AND DO NOT RETURN TO THIS PAGE. IT'S SIMPLE.

Now, my good looking hubby and I are about to start dinner so PEACE OUT till tomorrow.

Master P.

Blah Blah Blah

2009-05-10T16:08:00.004-05:00

This use to be my play ground and I slowly left it behind. I'm not exactly sure why, except for the fact that life gets so busy yet crazy at times and the things that we are passionate about seem to get put on hold for the things that are a necessity.

The links in the side-bar don't seem to be valid any longer, a lot of the graphics are no longer available, and my devoted readers are lost somewhere in blogger land. All the wonderful people that supported me in the beginning and throughout all the craziness of the SAGA. Oh where oh where have all the readers gone?

Is this a new beginning? Is this the end? Or is this simply the next chapter for a twister mind?

So who is this twisted mind we speak of? The one that writes to escape the normality of what is expected. The one that rambles because order seem unoriginal. The one that cusses to much, laughs to loud, loves cold beer, thinks I'm the funniest person that I have ever met and has never quite mastered that whole "rule-following" thing. There are definitely people out there that hate the me that I simply love, but I think that's because I'm the most honest person that they have ever met.

So, today is Mother's Day and I have been sick for a freaking week. I still don't feel good and my husband has pissed me off since my feet hit the floor this morning. My children have been the same little precious screaming, fighting, got to have it their way, perfect little selves today. YAY ME! Now can someone please get me some ear plugs, a beer and the damn TV remote.

I'll end for now but will return again soon to talk about people, places and whateva else later.

STAY FABULOUS!

LIFE IS A HWY

2009-05-10T15:44:00.001-05:00

It never goes away. It simply remains. There inside of the soul getting stronger. Can it be satisfied or will the hunger always remain? The answers. The questions. The hurt. The betrayal. The lies. The deception. How or when will the hate be washed away and replaced with calmness. A calmness of the spirit. A spirit that has no faith. A spirit of evil. The prayers that are prayed that never seem to be answered. Unanswered prayers cast unto a God that you do not know. The peace and gratification longed for remain unobtainable. The sick mind that will know no cure. The needs that can't be met. Is it fate? Is it lifes plan? Is it Karma? What is karma? Are all your evil deeds returned upon you? A full circle of a life. The bad recieve bad. The good recieve good. But when the BAD collide with the GOOD whose Karma is it? Is your Karma how you treat people and their Karma how they react to it? Is it our Karma or is it our DECISION? A decision to act, re-act, be the lie, be the liar, be obsessed over, be the obsessor, be the stalked, be the stalker, be the hated, be the hator, be the cheated, be the cheater, be the betrayed, be the betrayer, be the cause, be the effect, be the strong, be the weak, be the accused, be the accuser, be the leader, be the follower, be the story, be the narrator. The choices are endless. The possiblilties never stop, they only change per the circumstance. The roads continue until you stop the drive. But the trip depends on your decisions. So have a safe trip and remember the "bad drivers" usually end in a crash.

Heaven or Hell

2009-05-10T15:43:00.002-05:00

Exactly what is hell? That fiery place we have heard about all our lives. Heaven or Hell? Where will you go? Better question is where are you now?

Heaven on Earth? Hell on Earth? Days filled with happiness or sadness. Ecstasy or anguish?

You are your own heaven or hell. You make your own happiness. You decide the people with whom you share your life. Right?? Or wrong?? Days filled with anger and despair based on someone elses actions, words, life, love, belongings, wants, desires, fears. Is your happiness based on someone elses despair? Is that really happiness?

If something makes you UNHAPPY then why be a part of it? Look around at your life. Are you satisfied with what you see or are you living a life just to "affect" someone else? If your life is as happy as you say then why go out of your way to convince others of it?

Maybe just maybe the hell in our lives is really just US. Instead of being a victim of "circumstance" why not be a warrior of peace. Live your life and not worry about anyone else. Who cares what I do, say, wear, write, become or want? What are YOU???? What do you want? A career, a family, vacations in the tropics, a house, children, pets, a sports car, cosmetic surgery, WHAT??? No matter what you want your future to hold, it will never be achieved until you set your past free and until you stand in truth and honesty.

The demons inside are your own worst enemy. Before pointing the finger and placing blame on someone else how about taking a little responsibilty for YOUR LIFE. Who is responsible for what you read? YOU! Who is responsible for what you say? YOU! Who is responsible for what you do? YOU! Take a long hard look at the history? When there is a common problem in your life, who is responsible? YOU! If your life is constantly over-run with drama between you and everyone else, who is the common denominator?? YOU!

If you want to be out of a situation then why continue to place yourself in that situation? If our actions, deeds, thoughts and life decisions determine our fate in Heaven or Hell when we die, then shouldn't we make the decision as to whether or not we LIVE in Heaven or Hell before we die?

I, myself, quite enjoy living in my own personal Heaven. I am married to my Best Friend, have wonderful children who drive me crazy, have a family that I am very close to, In-Laws that I adore, I have a job that I love, Ben has completely soared in his career and I honestly couldn't be more proud of him. We have a little money in the bank, a house we love, and friends that are always there when we need them or just want to hang out an drink a beer. Sure there are things that I wish were a little different, but ultimately I am responsibile for what I allow in my life and what I allow to make me happy or sad. Fortunately, I am a comedian in my life story and I laugh at and about the non-sense that has no real bearing on my life. Laughter is good for the soul and it beats the hell out of misery any day.

So instead of trying to make someone jealous of you why not try and make yourself happy. Its gotta suck having to settle for a life in HELL instead of looking for HEAVEN.

THERE IS A GOD!!!!!

2007-06-07T09:27:00.000-05:00

PARIS RELEASED

I was beginning to wonder WTF was going on in this crazy world when an heiress is actually treated as common folk and locked away in a disease filled jail with ahhhhhhhh REAL CRIMINALS!!!

I mean honestly people this is America. Land of opportunity. So what fucking good is to have have billions in the bank if ya actually have to OBEY the freaking law????? I can't help but wonder what the hell the judge was thinking! Has he NOT seen ONE NIGHT IN PARIS???? I mean not just anyone could lay there like a corpse while some guy bangs the shit outta them AND records it!!!!!

Anywho, I am just glad that this horrible wrong has been corrected and that the precious Paris is out in the free world again. Free to shop, drink, get high, get fucked, and if we're lucky she'll mow down a couple innocent bystanders in her $500,ooo Bentley. YAY us!!!

PEG

2007-01-28T11:45:00.000-06:00

Peg was a quite little girl. Even as a child there was something very weird about her. A distant look in her eyes. Almost a vacancy. You know like the old statement "the lights are on but nobody's home"!

I'm not sure what the exact problem was though. Maybe her mother battled drug and/or alcohol abuse. Maybe someone had "done" something to her. I'm not real sure. There was a conversation once about her mother taking birth control pills during her pregnancy, but I'm not sure if that was from her mothers lack of education or lack of wanting to be pregnant.

Either way there was one thing that was for damn sure....there was definitely something wrong with this one.

It was quite amazing that someone could be so deceitful, so manipulative, so mental at such a young age. Peg was always kinda "dealt" with. Entertained, if you will, so that she may be handled. Out of control fits were a daily occurrence with Peg. She never really developed any childhood friendships because of her lack of respect for others. Her fault??? Some...but more on her family I think.

Either way, it all makes for a very interesting story. You see as Peg grew up, she grew into a very interesting individual. Interesting to say the least. Her life reads like a case study from a psych ward with a few chapters from a Stephen King novel.

To be continue.................

Family Ties

2006-11-29T14:34:00.000-06:00

Have you ever met someone that just made you sit back, shake your head and say WHAT THE FUCK??? Well, I have had the displeasure of having some distant dealings with such a person for the last year.

A grown ass woman. Married with two children. A woman that should be happy, but is apparently miserable since she can't let go of stupid shit. Not just any stupid shit, but someone else's stupid shit.

This chic sould count her blessings considering she was the biggest whore in town during high school. I mean she managed to get married and outta town, so shouldn't she take that opportunity to live her fucking life?? I think so too. Instead she basis her life of trying to find anything possible to act like the same ole High School Drama queen from the past.

Any grown ass woman that uses phrases such as "Copy Cat" on a fucking MySPace is a complete fucking idiot. Any grown ass woman that talks to a complete stranger (a MAN) that she met on the internet about her personal life and about her excessive drug use is desperate for attention. This woman harasses her sister's EX-Boyfriends WIFE on a a daily basis. She has invented FAKE profiles to TROLL this poor woman.

Ok, so your sister got dumped by the ONLY MAN SHE HAS EVER LOVED, so what. If he is remarried isn't that a clue to you that your sister needs to let go??? Neither of these women even know his WIFE except for knowing that she is the woman he choose. These are grown ass women acting like a bunch of love struck 12 year olds. This man has gotten married and has a family and is being stalked by his ex and her sister. I can't even find words to describe this behavior.

The strange part is trying to figure out this woman's agenda. She tries to portray herself as her sister's PROTECTOR but she has even called the WIFE and told the wife that haer sister isn't over the EX. That she is in a current relationship because of that guys child and so that she will have a connection to the family. She even told the wife that she couldn't understand why her sister was so obsessed with HER. She told the wife that her family has tried to convince her that she needs mental help but she is on too many drugs to see what's best for herself. WOW

But then she attacks the wife to make the sister feel good about herself, or is it to make herself feel good?? I am married to a wonderful man and my family is my top priorty so I don't understand how this woman, wife and mother can continuosly go after a woman that she doesn't even know. Does she just not have a life? Is she unhappy in her marriage? Well, that was answered with her ONLINE FRIEND.

There have been rumors of her constant drug use and affairs so maybe that has something to do with it. Whatever it is I sure hope that she will realize that this poor woman shouldn't have to deal with her husbands EX or her FAMILY just to be with the man she loves. I mean I can't imagine having a sister thats that unstable and me having to act the same way just to pacify her. I hope they get the help they desperately need.

I SOMETIMES WONDER

2006-11-20T14:57:00.000-06:00

I sit back and take a very long look at my life and smile at all the things that I have to be Thankful for. Like everyone else there are things in my life that I wish were different. I have faced my share of trial and tribulations. Things aren't always easy, but I have a great life.

I wish my family were closer. I wish my grandparents were still here to see how much joy my children to bring to my life. I wish my sister's life had taken a different path. There are things that I wish I can change but the good far out weighs the bad.

I have my family. I have wonderful children. I have a nice home and a good job. I have the love of my life right beside me. I know in my heart that Ben is my soul mate. We were destined to be together. There is nothing that will ever come between us. Nothing that will shake us much less break us. We are that strong together. I had never been so SURE about anything in my life until the day I met him. All the worries slowly disappeared when he came into my life. Even the people that try to shake us are unsuccessful because we are meant to be.

I don't think that the word THANKFUL can describe how I feel about my marriage to Ben. How do you describe the relationship with your Best Friend? Your soul mate. I don't think that I can find the words to come close to describing what we have. I still get butterflies when he walks in the room. I get weak in the knees from the slightest touch from him. I can tell him my worse fear and he assures me. He loves me the most when I deserve it the least. Perfect is such a HUGE word but it's the only word that comes close to describing our relationship.

I am a firm believer that your life is what you make of it. If you want to be happy then make yourself. If you can't make yourself happy then NO ONE else can either. If you want a FRIEND. Someone that you can trust. Then you must first be a friend, someone that can be trusted. If your life is full of people that disappoint you, stab you in the back, and turn their backs on you THEN take a look at yourself. Chances are that's the type of person that you are.

I try to be a great friend. Someone that can be trusted and counted on. Therefore I have been blessed with so many wonderful people that I am proud to call friends. People that I can call anytime and I know they will be there. People that love me for me, I don't have to pretend to be something or someone that I am not. That's what true friendship is. Be thankful if you have it in your life. I do & I am.

Everyone that knows me knows that writing is my avenue to sanity. It doesn't always make sense to everyone , but it always makes sense to me. HAHA And more times than not, you can relate to something that I write. You see, if you look at something JUST RIGHT then everything is always about you. All the good, all the bad, all the question that don't have answers. Your job is to go out and find those answers.

There are some questions that I would like to ask certain people. I wonder if they know the answers themselves????

What's it like to live with such pain?

To live a life that longs for trust.

To what things that are unobtainable.

To long for control.

To hide a world of hurt behind a fake smile.

To look in mirror and hate what you see.

To live in a world that you will never fit in.

To be an adult and have no accomplishments to speak of with pride.

To wish for a past that wasn't full of shame and fifth.

To hate.

To envy another life.

To not know unconditional love.

To want his touch just one more time.

To wish for death.

I wonder if you had everything, would you still want to live?? We all want for things. Some want more than others. Some want things that they simply can't have. I hope for simplicity for so many people. Take the life that you have and make of it what you can. Give up on the past and concentrate on the future. You can't change the past, but you can mold your future if you let go of what will never be. Be thankful for what you have and of what you have isn't really what you want then MOVE ON. Life is to short to settle for an occasional smile. Follow your heart and if your lucky then you'll find someone that ROCKS YOUR WORLD to plaster a neverending smile across your face.

WHEN DID THINGS CHANGE SO MUCH!

2006-10-25T14:19:00.000-05:00

Growing up in small town USA, I couldn't wait for the fair to arrive each fall. Having your parents drop you off. Meeting all your friends at the front gate because YOU MUST walk in together. An arm bracelet for $10 that meant you rode every ride like a thousand times. Wearing your boyfriends letterman jacket. The nights were so cool but we were so much fucking cooler.

WHAT HAPPENED????

I walked around the STATE FAIR this past weekend and shit just ain't the same. First of all it was hot enough to bake a fucking chicken out there, and when the hell did the fair start costing more than your mortgage?? I mean good lawd.

All the good shit is gone. I mean am I the only person that use to spend $20 throwing darts at balloons just to win a MIRROR with Motley Crue or Poison on it?? AND the tilt-a-whirl???? Where oh where art thou Tilt-o-whirl? It seems like the Tilt-o-whirl has been replaced by the Beer Tent. Thats right. You can go to the fair and get shit faced for $4 a glass. Oh, but there's more. While you are sitting in the beer tent paying $4 for a beer there is LIVE music and T.V.'s scattered about so you can catch the score to the football game. Now that's the fair.

If ever I had been faced with the opportunity to talk about others this was it. As Ben, Tami, Tinicia and I sat there enjoying the band I began to wonder if I had to many teeth to even be in there. There were couples that between them had less than 5 teeth. A dentist paradise this was. It was apparent that for some of these people the fair their yearly vacation and they planned on enjoying every fucking second of it. Hell, some even broke out the GOOD clothes for this occasion. As Tami so loving pointed out, "Cher called and she wants her shirt back".

But one thing that hasn't changed is the livestock shows. I always loved this part of the fair, and so do my children. Rachel loves the animals and gets all excited about going to see them. Rachel has been riding horses since she was two and competes in Barrels and Poles, so when she seen the horses she was ready to ride. Hell, she wanted to ride the cows to.

Then we found the pigs. I love pigs. As a matter of fact I once had a pet pig. SO there we were, looking at all the fat lazy porkies lying around when the judges started the weigh in. People started gathering their pigs and getting them ready. I decided to walk to the next arena and check out the goats, when I heard the loudest squeal that I have ever heard in my life. The first squeal was followed by a second squeal that was even louder but more child like. I turn around and Rachel is running full speed ahead with this 250 pound pig right behind her. They were both scared to fucking death and everytime that one would squeal the other would out do them. Ben decides to jump in front of the pig. That didn't work out as he planned and he damn near had to pick his ass up off the ground.

Rachel rounds the corner, eyes the size of tennis balls, and jumps about 3 foot into my arms. The pig takes a quick right and was trapt by some men at the other end. I must say that yes I was laughing at my child. The pig wasn't CHASING Rachel, I think he just thought she had a damn good escape route planned out and he was following her. The owner comes up and apologizes and tells her that the pig would never hurt her and ask if she would like to come pet him. Rachel looks at this man like he is completely fucking crazy and says (in a very loud voice) "I AIN'T TOUCHING THAT PIG". Where's the video camera when you need it???

There is so much going on the rest of this month that I am excited about. Rachel's 5th Birthday Party is Friday night at the Bear Factory. Then Ben and I will be heading to Birmingham, AL with some friends to enjoy another Widespread Panic Show. These shows just keep getting better and better. Good friends, good times and GREAT MUSIC!

BUT, the BIG day is the 19th. Thats when I will be heading to Mobil with three other beautiful ladies to sail away on our cruise to Mexico. Words can not describe how excited I am.

AIN'T LIFE GRAND!!!

SHE'S SPIRALING OUT OF CONTROL

2006-09-16T16:35:00.000-05:00

Another call. Another "attempted" suicide. What is it going to take? Can you ever get the help you so desperately needs? When will someone take control and give you no option, you need this help. You need to be committed to a long term facility. Even though I have my doubts that that will even work.

The drugs have controlled her life. So many innocent people affected. The children whose lives are poisoned by her very touch. The mother who knows nothing but to believe her every lie. The father that is in another state and considers writing a check "good parenting".

How long can a person poison their bodies before they reach the point of no return? What is the point of no return. Why isn't it a wake up call when Dr.'s tell you that you are destroying your life as well as your body? Getting arrested for drugs means nothing. Still no responsibilty is taken. She only points fingers.

How am I suppose to deal with all of this? What about me? Do you think about ME? Do you think about YOUR FAMILY? Do you think about the man you said you LOVED, yet your bring turmoil and dispair in his life? What about US? What about all the "friends" that you look in the face and lie to. What about US?

Your fate is set. You may not accept it, but it is set. The long days in your own personal hell. All the nights that you will face alone. The tears that you will cry. The hurt that will fill the pit of your stomach and slowly move through your body. The long and lonely days that will be spent regreting all the destruction you have created.

Who will be there to hear your lies? NO - ONE.

Who will be there to protect you from yourself? No - ONE.

Who will be there as your friend? NO - ONE.

Who will be there to help you? NO - ONE.

But WE will all be here, living with the pain that you have caused in all our lives. Explaining your fate with sorrow in our voices. The look of dispair in the eyes of the man and woman that gave you life. Where did they go wrong? Their hearts ache for answers. What if's fill thier thoughts. Sleepless nights end their days. So many bad decisions and wrong turns. When and how will it end?

MORE DRAFTS FOR THE BOOK

2006-09-15T12:37:00.001-05:00

I know that I neglect you all so badly, and for that I am truly sorry. I try to be good, but I must admit that I am addicted to MySpace. *hangs head in shame*

So what I am going to do is start using this blog to write "rough drafts" for my book. So when you visit and begin reading a bunch of ramblings and funny stories then just follow along and enjoy the insanity I call LIFE.

Have you ever sat and thought about the differences in your life and your siblings and wonder how in the hell you turned out so different? Same parents, same house, same church and same schools yet it's like you came from different planets. How the hell does that happen?

My sister and I are completely different. As different as different can get. I wonder why? Oh yeah, it's because she is crazy. That's right people MENTAL ILLNESS runs deep deep in her veins. Apparently always has. I don't know why, but I know that it does.

Hell, I have begun to wonder if I have a "crazy" magnet located somewhere in my body. Do I attract these fuckers or what? Dealing with my sister growing up and now with the Psycho terrorizing my adult life. I can't seem to shake them. Lately, it seems like they are multiplying because it seems that Psycho does have a few friends and guess what THEY ARE PSYCHO TO.

Why can't grown ass people eat dinner in a restaurant without making an ordeal of it? I wish I knew the answer to that. I attended a DINNER a couple of weeks ago and it turned out that the girl in charge made the reservations at the same restuarant that Psycho was going to show up at. Lucky me. Did that matter? NO, it didn't. There were 18 people in our party and we were sitted on a dirrent side than the other party. GREAT, right? Hell no, because the drama queens had to come over there not once, not twice not even three times but 4 or 5. SAD.

Why so these poor girls need so much attention. And negative attention at that. Never mind, look at thier lives.

..................................................................................

Ben and I decided to take the kids out to eat dinner at a new restaurant in our neighborhood. When I returned home and glanced at my cell, I had 38 missed calls. DAMN, something must be going on. Before I could even look at the numbers my phone began ringing again. I quickly answered the phone and LeAnne was talking so fast I couldn't even understand what she was saying at first. I finally get her calmed down enough to understand what she was saying. It turns out that Chandra has "attempted suicide" and is in the mental ward of our local hospital.

I don't believe my phone stopped ringing the entire night or the next day. I have learned from experience that the first story is never the right story, especially when it concerns that crew. I finally decide that the best source would be the hospital, so I called the hospital director to get the true story. Turns out the only thing that was accurate with all the stories that I had heard was that she was locked down in the mental ward. Attempted suicide? More like a cry for help, help that she will more than likely refuse.

It's pretty bad when your to crazy to even pull off an accurate suicide attempt. If you "slit" your wrist shouldn't you use some sort of "device" that actually cuts? Is it really a suicide attempt if your wounds are treated with Spongebob band-aids? According to the newspaper article there were several drugs found in her system. Not a shock.

.......................................................................................

IT'S GETTING HOT IN HERE!

2006-08-22T18:49:00.000-05:00

Is it just me or has it been hot as hell?? I mean G - E's - US. I have literally been about to die. It's not just hot, it's smoldering. Knowing this it amazes me that I even done what I did this morning.

As I rolled outta bed, stumbled to the shower, debated on whether to go to work or go back to bed, I snatched some jeans and a T-shirt outta my closet and began getting dressed. For some strange freaking reason I decided to wear some cute silky undies today. Why? I'm not really sure because I never wear undies. I think it has something to do with a movie that Ben and I watched about a bank robbery. The robbers made everyone strip down to their underwear. Ben started laughing and said "We'd be fucked cuz we don't wear underwear". Anywho, I slipped into the STAR covered cuties, finshed dressing and headed out the door.

LUNCH TIME! As I walk from my office to my car in the smoldering heat I am slightly regretting the cute undies as I am removing them from the crack of my ass. Then it happens. I sat down in the drivers seat.The LEATHER drivers seat. That car was hot enough to be a Meth lab. Within moments my cute silky undies turned into Saran Wrap covering every inch of my ass.

I was fucking dying. Surely my car will be cool soon and these mother humpers will release themselves from my butt cheeks. You know what? FUCK THIS!

Have you ever driven 60 down a 4 lane highway during lunch hour traffic while getting undressed? Well, neither had I. UNTIL TODAY. Thats right, these babies were coming off one way or another. I kicked my flip flops off. Unbuttoned my jeans and forced them bitches down my sweaty thighs. Ahhhh! At last.... I jerked those star covered, sweat inducing, ass suffocating Satan Panties right the fuck off.

Ha, I am the Master of the Satan Panties.

Now what do I do with these bitches? Glove Compartment? Why the fuck is it even called a glove compartment? I have NEVER put gloves in a glove compartment. Wait, unless condoms are considered gloves in a case like this. Ahhh, back to the point.

Glove Compartment?

Under the seat?

My purse?

Fuck it!

Bye Bye Satan panties. As I rolled down the window and slowly extended my arm outward those babies were released into the wild. Well, maybe not the wild, but they were released none the fucking less. And I DO NOT want to hear one damn word from anyone about littering. I did not litter. I just did a good deed. A homeless person may find them and their ass will be toasty warm this winter, OR I created a job because someone has to pick them up.

And in case any of you are wondering.... it's a helluva lot harder to get dressed driving down the highway than it is to get undressed. Whew. I need a freaking nerve pill now and so does the Grandpaw that damn near wiped out a Lincoln while trying to see my ass.

So fair warning to all. If WE are ever in a bank robbing situation together and we are forced to strip down to our underwear.........I AIN'T WEARING ANY!

P.S. YES PHIL, YOU WON THE AUTOGRAPHED PHOTO OF PSYCHO. PLEASE SEND ME YOUR ADDRESS SO I CAN GET THIS EVIL STRICKEN THING OUTTA MY HOUSE!

BRAGGING, BITCHING AND LAUGHING MY ASS OFF.

2006-08-10T08:01:00.000-05:00

Yeah bitches, hoes and haters, I spent the night jamming with Buckcherry. Not only did I get to attend a kick ass show, but I got to hang out with "the band" before, during, and after the show.

I have loved this band since the late 90's and I must say that they still kick ass. This was one of the BEST shows that I have EVER been to. These guys definitely kick ass. Everyone in there got more than their money's worth.

Being the VIP's that we are, we got to sit in on this amazing bands sound check. It was quite entertaining, to say the least. After the sound check all the guys came over and took a few pics and hung out for a while before leaving to get ready for the show.

I must say that I fell in love with Xavier Muriel, the drummer for Buckcherry. He was so down to earth and absolutely amazing. And as you can tell from the picture below, well yeah HE wanted ME...

He even came back out during the performance of Black Stone Cherry and I got to hang out with him again.

But the best part was after the show. Buckcherry leaves the building and the crew begin to tear down the stage. There I stand, absolutely ecstatic about the kick ass show that I just witnessed. Hair a mess. Barely any make-up left and dripping with sweat. One of the guitarist, Stevie D. handed me his guitar oick and took one last pic with Ben and I. THEN my sexy little Xavier came back into the venue and handed me his drum sticks. Yeah, I am in heaven and I am a rock star, BITCHES!

One last hug before he hits the road to Missouri.

I miss my guys already.

Now that I am threw bragging, I will now BITCH.

During the show there were so many drunk ass fools on that floor fighting to get to the stage (thats where I was), and acting like complete idiots. There were people in there acting as if they had no common sense. I understand "loving" a band and wanting to get as close as possible BUT come on. There is no reason to act the way MOST of these people did. Enjoy the show. That entire building was fucking ROCKING so no matter where you were standing. sitting, or the case of e few drunk chics, where you were puking, you were going to hear the entire show LOUD AND CLEAR.

I really didn't get to bothered by the stupidity on the floor during the show. I actually dealt with it very well. ALL EXCEPT the chic beside me that was a big as the bands tour bus. This whore kept thinking that she could "jump" up and down to the beat of the music. Well, within seconds of this activity she would lose her balance and fall all over EVERYONE. I decided to ignore her and just enjoy the show. Your all shocked, I know. Well, it didn't last. This bitch landed on my foot and damn near snapped my leg into. The ignoring was over. After Ben got threw laughung at me cussing this whore out he was the perfect gentleman and switched places with me. Needless to say he had her ass and tits all over him, until she got to tired to move and had to leave the floor in search of a chair.

Ok, back to what REALLY bothered me. After the show and Buckcherry left the stage and building, a lot of people left. Some folks hit the dance floor and began shaking their Laffy Taffy while the crew packed up the stage. Some of us just kinda sat around and tried to cool off. About 15 minutes or so later the members of Buckcherry come back in the building. All these screaming ass, pushing, neck breaking, funky smelling jack-asses that damn near killed themselves during the show DIDN"T EVEN RECOGNIZE THEM.

HELLO!!!! Were you idiots watching the show? These fuck faces just made it even hotter and more CROWDED for me and the other REAL Buckcherry fans for NO REASON. Their next song should be STUPID BITCH. Grrrrrrrrrr

Now for my LOL.

As promised I have a goody for you, MY FOLLOWERS. You love me, don't you? I know you do. And I also know why. Because I never disappoint you. I am always thinking about you. Even last night.

Me, being the magnificent MASTER that I am, got a prize for one of you lucky asses. I have an autographed picture of Psycho. That's right. Every member of Buckcherry has signed this picture. I felt that since her crazy ass was the reason I got to spend the evening with my GUYS, then what better way to show my appreciation than to have all them autograph a picture of her. A picture that I will send to the highest bidder. So get your wallets out and start balance your checkbook and place your bids.

I felt that it where time I stop complaining and actually do something for the casue. SO, with that in mind all the proceeds will go to the United Psycho Association. Let's support the mental health of America and bid accordingly.

IT'S FRIDAY!

2006-07-28T08:24:00.000-05:00

Thank God it is Friday. I am soooooo exhausted. BUT I will not be getting much rest this weekend because Ben and I are going to Memphis with some friends to see Widespread Panic. If you do not know this band, you are missing out. They are amazing.

Rachel has had Strep Throat and is FINALLY feeling better. For 2 nights I sat up all night rocking my sweet little angel while she battled a fever of 103. I hate it when my babies are sick. It just breaks my heart. In case you aren't aware of how beautiful and sweet she actually is, check this out!

Zack starts school in another week. My little man is going to be in Middle School! OMG, where has all the time gone? I remember when he was just learning to walk, and write his name, now he is going to MIDDLE SCHOOL! Speaking of school...... Zack and I had a major discussion on clothes this week. I think that I am a "cool" mom and I try to be understanding of his feelings and such. BUT there are some things that we do not agree on, and lately it seems to be clothes.

Zack has been "experimenting" with skateboards. He has gotten pretty good. Of course I support my children in any activity that they are interested in. As a surprise I just bought him a new skateboard. A really COOL skateboard at that. I almost passed out when I discovered this board cost $75 bucks WITHOUT freaking wheels! He loved it and I , once again was the greatest mom in the world.

As of yesterday, not only am I NOT the greatest mom in the world anymore, but I am no longer COOL. That's right folks. I have been dethroned. My son decided that he wanted to buy jeans that hang off his ass, the bottoms completely cover his feet, and the pockets go all the way down the back of his legs. Plus, lets not forget the T-shirt that is 100 times to freaking big for his ass. And what "ensemble" would be complete with the WHITE & GREEN paten leather shoes?? WTF EVER. Hell no. Not happening!

Now, please remember that Zack IS his mothers son. Which explains the following conversation.

Me: Zackary, those clothes are not appropriate for school. NO

Zack: MOM, times have changed.

Me: I don't care! NO

Zack: Why can't I choose my own clothes?

Me: Because they are not appropriate, that's WHY.

Zack: You need to learn to let me be an individual and EXPRESS my individuality.

Me: WHAT???????

Zack: Everyone is not the same, MOM. That's what makes this world what it is. People are
different. People get to choose who they are, its called being an American.

Me: WHAT?????????

Zack: Why can't I buy what I want to buy without asking YOU!

Me: Oh, you want to buy your own clothes?

Zack: Yeah, I wanna buy what I want. What I like and feel comfortable in. You dress me like a
dork.

Me: Oh, I'm sorry. Please baby. Knock your little self out. You are more than welcome to buy your own clothes. Take off. I can't wait to see what you come back with. Don't forget to try on everything!

Zack: WHAT???????

Me: Go. Go buy your own clothes.

Zack: Mom, I don't have any money.

Me: Go get a job.

Zack: WHAT???????

Me: Oh, that's right. Your still a child. You can't get a job, huh?

Zack: Uhhhh, NO!

Me: Then I suggest you get a cup and a shirt that says "burn victim", stand at the intersection and see how much you collect.

Zack: Grrrr, your not funny MOM.

Me: hahahahahaha, I beg to differ. I am funny and cool.

Zack: No you are not. You USE to be cool. Now, your just bossy. You don't have the right to tell
me what I can and can't wear.

Me: WHAT???

Zack: I

Me: Hush your mouth! I am not threw responding to your last comment. WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE TALKING TO LIKE THAT????

Zack: Your not being fair. Do I come in your room and tell you what to wear to work???

Me: *taking a deep breath*

Me: Have you completely lost your mind, Zackary Taylor? I am grown. You are not. When you
are able to BUY your own clothes then you can BUY anything you choose. But until that time, YOU WILL WEAR WHAT I FIND APPROPRIATE. Understand? Now, I am not sure where you found those attitude pills that you apparently took but for your own well being you better not take anymore.

Zack: You are not being fair mom. Why can't you let me be an individual? I have a right to have my own style! Why can't you stop treating me like a baby?

Me: An individual? A baby?

Zack: Yeah, you always have to have everything your way! I HAVE THE RIGHT TO WEAR WHATEVER I WANT TO.

Me: *biting lip with frustration* Ok, you win. You can wear anything that you want to wear. As a matter of fact, why don't you go pick out exactly what you plan on wearing the first day of school.

Zack: *grinning with pride from victory* Thanks mom! Can we go to the Underground in the mall first?

Me: Oh, no! You can go to ZC's and pick out your clothes.

Zack: WHAT??? Mom, I have never heard of ZC's!

Me: Really? Well, let me explain what ZC stands for!

Zack: *look of confusion*

Me: ZACK'S CLOSET!

Zack: WHAT?????? My closet?

Me: Yep, your shopping spree just got cancelled. Instead, I will be spending your school shopping money on therapy for you, because it is apparent that you have lost your ever loving mind talking to me this way. I am your mother and you will not EVER speak to me like that again. IS that understood?

Zack: yes'mam. *walks off to pout*

Now, I understand that children are not all the same and some like things that others don't and blah blah blah. That's all fine and dandy, but my children will not dress in anything that I find inappropriate. I don't give a shit who agrees with me or not. That's just how shit is in my world. I see kids in the mall wearing shit that quite frankly frightens me, and my son is not wearing that shit. I have seen girls wearing skirts that barely cover their asses. WHo bought this shit? I sure as hell hope that a parent didn't. If Rachel ever even thinks about dressing like that, I will be forced to bring her back to reality with any means necessary. I am a firm believer that you mold your children in the way you want them to be and when the choice is their's to make they will make the right one.

With that being said, I do not find 11 an adequate age to make that choice. If I am wrong then I will just have to be wrong. So please note that as of now I am no longer the coolest mom in the world. But I am still the coolest bitch!

AND YA'LL JUST THOUGHT THAT IT WAS OVER!

2006-07-21T19:20:00.000-05:00

Please forgive me for not being the dedicated blogger that I once was. I have been so freaking busy at work lately, not to mention all the summer time activities. Plus, I have been hanging out with the rest of the fabulous mental cases at MySpace. Of course I do not refer to this as "blogging" or "MySpacing", NO this is more like group therapy.

So lets catch up, shall we?

Kimberly is doing amazing. She is now in a secondary program, and clean & sober. YAY to her.

I must retrac a statement that I made in an earlier post about Psycho. When Ben won the tickets and backstage passes to see Buckcherry, I made a comment saying that Psycho would probably sue us for the tickets since Ben won them by having the craziest EX. I was wrong. She didn't try to sue us. She called the fucking radio station and informed them that she was going to SUE THEM. Can you believe this shit? Who the fuck in their right mind does shit like that? Oh, never mind....right mind???? Of course the radio station never said her name or Ben's name for that fact.

When we were told about this incident, all I could do was shake my head in disbelief. What the fuck is she thinking? If EVER there were any doubts that this chic is slap fucking crazy then this shit has cleared up any and all doubts. No rational person would ever do something so fucking stupid.

BUT, not only did she threaten to sue a Radio Station, but she also cussed out every member of a band for "ADDING" me as a friend on MySpace. That's right.... over a freaking MySPace. I laughed my ass off when they forwarded me the email she sent them calling me a OLD NASTY BITCH. Me??? OLD???? NASTY???? BITCH...you damn right.

A sensitive person would have already gotten there feelings hurt, but not me!! I enjoy it all. The attacks on my looks, age and especially my husband. I have been been called ugly, thunder thighs, scatter brained, fat, trashy, and one of my personal favorites........LEFT-OVERS. Oh, and how could I ever forget this all to popular statement from her...MEOW BITCH. That one is due to the fact that I want to be just like her, FABULOUS. According to her, I just wished I had what she did...her HOT BODY. Yeah, that's it. I want to look like a fucking stroke victim. I want an uncontrollable twitch. I want to attend Jr. College for FIVE years without earning a degree. I want to be mid-twenties and NEVER have held a full time job, had my own house, or supported myself. Yeah, that's what I wanna be.

I wanna get on a MySPace and tell all about my up-coming marriage in Jamaica. Describe my ring to a tee, and discuss having children. Then have my sister bust me out and admit it was all a lie to piss ME off. What?? Just another chapter in my Best Seller.

Anywho, I have some pictures of our latest adventure and I will be posting them and all the details soon. Have a great weekend.

THIS THAT AND A LITTLE "WHATEVER"

2006-07-03T08:11:00.000-05:00

I just love four day weekends. It has been GREAT! We will be hitting the water park today and then tomorrow I will eat enough to kill a normal person. This is OK because I have been dieting and "trying" to exercise as much as possible and I am very proud of myself for the weight I've lost and the toned muscles that I have managed to acquire.

I went to visit Kimberly last Sunday, and she looks great. She has put on a few "unwanted" pounds that she jokingly refers to as jail/rehab weight. It was so wonderful to see her so full of smiles and optimistic about her future. She will leave this rehab and enter a secondary in mid July. When I ask her how bad her cravings still were, she got a quirky little grin and said, "feel this!" As she laid her arm across the table and placed my finger on a blood vessel that seemed to be the size of my pinky, I could actually feel her blood vessels throbbing. I didn't know what to say. I was literally amazed at the fact that her body had visible signs of desire for this horrible addiction that she was fighting. "But now, I think about everything that I once had and then lost and the urge finally goes away. It never did that before. The feelings, the hurt, the need never subdued before. Not unless I stuck a needle in that vein."

Several years ago a very dear friend of mine gave me a devotional book for women. This was at a time in my life that I seemed to be facing my hardest moments. I was a going threw a divorce, I was a single mother of TWO. I was working a full time job, I had just opened a children's boutique and I was back in college. I didn't have a spare moment to do anything, which is good because I probally would have crumbled if I had to think about anything. The great thing about this book was that no matter what you were going threw or what you were thinking there was a page that seemed to have the exact words you needed to read at that exact moment to realize that things were going to be OK.

Shortly after I got that book, I met Ben. I have said before that Ben and I were each others saving grace and we were. Anyway, I gave that book to Kimberly. I told her that it helped me when I needed it the most and that one day she will be passing it on to another woman. Someday Kimberly will be someone else's saving grace. Before our visit ended, Kimberly told me that she knew in her heart that one day, God was going to use her and everything that she has been thro. "I don't know how or when, but I know He will", she says. As I get ready to leave she hugs my neck and tells me that she loves me. I'm so proud of her.

I must brag on my baby, Rachel. I am also so very proud of her. Rachel is four years old and she's been riding horses for about a year now. Her daddy bought her her very own horse for her birthday last year and Rachel has been showing her horse, Tator Chip. Well, she is now running barrels and poles and last weekend MY BABY won 2 ribbons and a metal. YAY!!! She is such a little adventurer.

And Zack, what can I say about Zack??? He is definitely my little pay back! Ben and I took him to Buffalo Wild Wings last week for Kareoke. Zack loves kareoke. This place was packed. To me kareoke is suppose to be fun and a little goofy. Not these people. They take this stuff SERIOUS! Well, needless to say my son was filling out his little card as soon as it started. Several minutes later I heard them call Zack's name so I walk down to the front so cheer MY baby on. I thought I would die when that music started. This boy was singing "Baby Got Back". Everyone in that place was singing with him. It was like he instantly turned into the cult leader for every college guy in that place.

About and hour later, Zack comes up to our table (we were there with some friends) and ask if he could get that "girl" over there a drink. Now, I look over at the video game section, where Zack has been and there are "several" girls over there. I tell him yes, but "one". This boy gets a napkin and writes "Hello Gorgeous" on it and hands it to the waitress. The next thing I know our waitress is delivering a $5.50 Red Bull and Vodka ON the personalized napkin, to a long legged, blond in a mini skirt. This chic was 22 maybe 23 years old. I almost feel outta my damn chair. Her boyfriend comes over to our table later to tell us "how cool" they all thought Zack was. COOL? Then you pay for that freaking $5.50 drink that YOUR girlfriend just sucked down!

Zack waited until she finished her drink and then went over to her table, not giving a shit that she had a date, and introduced himself and shook her hand. They talked for a few minutes and she leaned down and kissed him on the cheek. OMG, if you could have seen that look on that child's face. "I am NEVER washing my face again", he announced. Ben and the other guys with us were loving this shit. Hell, they were all shocked that Zack not only thought to write her a message on the napkin BUT that he knew how to spell "gorgeous".

HELP!!!!!

I will have to say that things have been kinda quite with Psycho to ME! She has been to busy attacking all of her so-called friends because of me. She sent an email announcing that her "boyfriend" won't be playing in the band if any of the members have anything to do with me. hahahahahaha. After they all added me to their MySpace pages she went "crazy" on them individually. It's great to know that I can control someone's life without doing a damn thing except be myself. I did however almost get my feelings hurt when she described me as an "UGLY OLD NASTY BITCH". But after realizing that she is so fucking hung up on ME that she will go to that much of an extreme puts a big-o fat smile across my face. Not to mention the fact that now all those people see exactly what the truth is. They see who is doing what and who is sitting back and laughing MY ass off. HeeHee : )~

I have another wedding to participate in! This one is for a very dear friend of mine. Actually Ben and I are both in the wedding. We are so excited. The entire wedding is going to be black and white. It is going to be gorgeous. Not to mention the fact that Ben and I will look fabulous all dressed up together. The bridesmaid dress is absolutely stunning. Plus I will be able to wear it on our cruise next year that we will be taking with my family. That's right 7 days in the tropics! YAY.

Well, I'm headed to the water park so everyone have a great day and a safe 4th. My prayers and thoughts to all the soldiers over seas and the families of all the fallen soldiers.

YEAH, I'M BACK!

2006-06-15T12:00:00.000-05:00

I have been quite distant from my blog lately and for that I am sorry. I was conducting an "experiement" to say. Apparently, a certain someone has convince herself that by me discussing the last three and half years that I am obsessed with her. So I thought, ya know that is understandable. Someone with the mental capacity that she has and the ability to do the shit that she has done would definitely think that way. Therefore, I decided to not write ANYTHING on either one of my blogs.

Well guess what? This is my fucking blog and I will and am going to write any fucking thing on here that I see fit. If someone ANYONE doesn't like it then fucking leave. I don't give a shit who agrees with me and who doesn't. I am sick and tired of these stupid mother fuckers acting a damn fool. And here's a couple perfect examples of shit that has happened in the last 2 weeks.

For two weeks I have said nothing. Did it work? Fuck no! The less attention that bitch got the more she ran her fucking mouth. The weekend that Ginger, Stephanie, and I along with several other friends went to Greenville for Tabitha's bachlorette party is a prime example! If you don't want any shit then why start it? As soon as I walked threw the door of the bar where the bachlorette party was at she was bitching and trying to get me thrown out. When that didn't work she spent the entire night talking shit from the corner and crying like a little bitch. We were there to have a good time and we did just that. No one paid any attention to her. Then she lied to her sister about the whole episode, but then again lying comes natural to her.

Still no one had said anything about her and we continued not to. She, however, spent DAYS on MySpace talking shit about all of us that were there that night. We are all just jealous of her HOT BODY and wish we were her. MmmmKAY. Yeah, I really wish I were a cock eyed, dried up, worthless piece of shit.

She made comments over and over about her and her boyfriend going to Jamaica to get married this fall and how I am unhappy in my marriage and wished I were as happy as she is. MmmKAY. Her sister confessed that the marriage bit was all a lie to "give us something to talk about". WHAT? There again no one said a single thing. Why would you try to start shit and make someone talk about you if you want "them" to leave you alone. We all knew that shit was a lie, hell even her boyfriend ain't that fucking crazy. Besides that it would piss his other girlfriend off. But they tried to get us to talk shit about them???

Does anyone see a pattern here?

Well, Monday was the last straw. This bitches sister makes a huge post about ME on MySpace! Let me make it clear right now, I have no problem with her or anyone else discussing me AS LONG AS YOU TELL THE FUCKING TRUTH! But do not talk a bunch of shit and think for one fucking second that I am not going to call you out on it. I read this shit and I could not figure out who the fuck had subscribed to her blog that was my friend, so I called her. I mean hell, she called me when I beat the fuck out of Psycho to tell me she was going to kick my ass after she had her baby. I'm still waiting on that shit to happen! Plus she and I talked for an hour about a month ago about all of this. She spent that time telling me how they wanted it to all end and that she feels like Psycho just needs answers to why Ben did what he did to her. Well, here's your answer.........Because you are trash. Ben wanted to make something out of his life and being with a crazy drug head wasn't it. And besides that...LOOK AT ME!! It's not hard to figure out.

I was floored when she popped out the name of the person that she thought I had sent to her blog to start shit. OMG, this is someone that I have never met. As a matter of fact she is a fellow blogger and myspacer. Yeah, I'm on her friends list....HELLO I am fucking FABULOUS! People that have never met me love me! Don't be a hater! But if your that worried about me then you have major issues. Besides that do I come across as someone that needs anyone to do shit for her?? I will read your shit daily and tell you about it.

When this chic started talking and everything that came out of her mouth was a fucking lie, I lost it. I could not believe that a grown woman was saying the shit this chic was saying. I go to Greenville to visit my family because I know it upsets Psycho. I make comments about seeing my neice because I am rubbing it in that Psycho isn't allowed around her. (because of a recent episode involving some sort of object and a mandatory lockdown in a certain hospital)
The shit went on and on.

After I cussed this stupid bitch out I hung up. SHe went back to MySpace and talked more shit. The one thing that I do not understand about these two is this..... why talk shit about everyone around when you are copying everything that someone else does? They talk shit about people having profiles on private, yet Psycho has her on private. This psycho fucking whore makes comment after comment about ME and my marriage and yet she lied about getting married (and at the same place she lied about her and Ben getting married) and all this after her sister tells me, over a MONTH ago , that Psycho isn't in love with her boyfriend she is just using him for financial reasons. MmmmKAY!

And lets not forget the constant Bible quotes. For future reference I would also like to make it clear that the word FABULOUS is PSYCHO'S word. If you use this word for any reason then you are jealous of her and hate your life and just want to be her. Just for future reference. Now, maybe these ignorant mother humpers will realize that the more shit they cause the more people are going to talk about how fucking CRAZY they are. And anyone that ended up in a freaking mental ward should never for any fucking reason use the word BONKERS!!! Oh, but I forgot you've got the FBI on your side now!!!

I will though let everyone know that within an hour of my phone call the all the shit was removed from MySpace. Its really sad that her sister, which seemed to be very intelligent, has allowed herself to be made a complete fool of. Sad I tell you! But I must give props to the boyfriend, which spent the night with another woman after partying in the bar all night, while she was "away".

So I guess that she hasn't gotten bored with it yet. Oh, well. FUCK HER! I don't live around that crazy whore anymore and as far as a MySpace she can talk all the shit she wants because everytime she goes to someone's page talking shit, they delete it! And I laugh my ass off.
I'll keep you guys informed on the "situation" as it unfolds. That is if the FBI doesn't come get me! Bwahahahaha!

CRAZY BITCH

2006-06-14T10:19:00.000-05:00

I have already shared the fact that I love BUCKCHERRY and I especially like their song "Crazy Bitch". So you can imagine my excitement when I found out that they were going to be playing here in June. I have been counting down the days until I get to see them rocking out with Nonpoint and Revelation Theory.

Well, yesterday 93.9, the radio station sponsoring the event, had a contest to win tickets, backstage passes to meet BUCKCHERRY and an autographed cd. The rules were simple, whoever called in with the best "crazy bitch" story won. I was sitting at work listening to these stories and laughing my ass off at these men. The next thing I know I hear MY HUSBAND on the radio telling all about his Psycho exgirlfriend. I almost died from laughter listening to him tell SOME of the crazy shit that this chic has done. It was priceless.

After all the calls and all the stories it was time for them to announce the winner.........

BEN WON! HE BY FAR HAD THE CRAZIEST BITCH STORY!

Yay, I get to meet Buckcherry and party with them. I can't believe how wonderful this is. After all the drama and turmoil caused by psycho herself, something GREAT finally came from it.

Although it would be nice if all the crazy bitch stories were in the past and not still occurring. But, I have my fingers crossed. If not maybe I'll win some money or something from all this shit.

HER STORY ~ part 2

2006-05-31T08:46:00.001-05:00

I got the news yesterday that Kimberly had been accepted into The Harbor House, a christian based rehab located here in Jackson. I can not tell you how proud I was to hear that. This has not been an easy task for her, but she has held strong.

Kimberly started her 25th day of sobereity TODAY! A huge accomplishment for someone that hasn't went more than 24 hours clean unless she was locked up. "When I am locked up I don't have a choice, and I am thinking about getting high", she said. Kimberly described the past Sunday and Monday as pure hell. "I wanted cocain so bad that it felt as if my entire body was on fire. If it were possible to spontaneous combust I swear I would have", she explained. But she fought all the urges and all the pain. She has attended at least 3 AA meeting a day.

I arrived at work this morning carrying the things that I had gotten for her to take with her. Rachel had colored her a picture to "make her smile". I was so excited about getting to see her and for being able to tell her "bye", knowing where she was headed. She looked great. Her long, greasy hair is now a clean short choppy style. She has a smile on her face as big as Texas.

As we stand outside, waiting for her ride, the emotions were running rampant. Her mother told her how proud of her she was and how much she loved her. "Your going to get thru this", her mom says. Kimberly nods her head in agreement.

Her things are loaded in the truck and she is ready to start the beginning of her journey. She hugs me goodbye and I tell her how very proud of her I am. Tears fill my eyes. As she hugs me back she assures me that she is going to do this and thanks me for everything that I have done for her. What she doesn't realize is what she has done for me. Kimberly has touched my heart in a way that I can not explain. She has helped me to understand how controling this addiction is. I am thankful for the life that I have, and as different as our lives are, she to is thankful.

I know in my heart that one day Kimberly will do great things. She has an uncanning ability to instantly touch lives with her words. One day she will help others battle this addiction and win also. She will have "the normal people life" again. She will work and be successful. It's not going to happen overnight but I know that it will happen. I am so very proud of her for being strong and brave and for fighting something that is so easy to give into.

SHORT AND SWEET

2006-05-30T10:57:00.000-05:00

I hope that everyone had a wonderful weekend. Because I had a fucking BLAST Saturday night. Me, Ginger, Stephanie and some our party girls all went out and partied like Rock Stars. We started at Garfields and after some food and several drinks we headed to the bar for more drinks and a night of dancing.

We all had such a good time. It was great to be with all the girls laughing and dancing. The "shots" didn't hurt either. It was definitely a night to remember.

Yesterday I hit the water park with some friends and 8 children. YES, I said 8. We had a really good time, but now my ass is cooked. OVER COOKED!

I'll try to be more creative later, I'm just not in the mood right now.

GOING DOWN THE LIST

2006-05-25T07:55:00.000-05:00

There are a few things that I feel I need to say, so I am just going to go down the list. Brace yourselves. This could get ugly.

Starbucks rules. Without my daily dose of White Chocolate Mocha people could get hurt. I must admit it....I'm addicted.

I NEVER do American Idol "breakdown" post, but I must and I do mean MUST point out a few things from last nights season finale.

First of all WooHoo Taylor Hicks!! Gray hair is sexy :)

Paula Abdul: You are an idiot. You look like a clumsy teenager bouncing all over the place. You need to sit your anorexic ass down and eat a tic tac. No wonder your ass can't keep a man. You act like another little crackhead I know.

PRINCE! OMG, I love this man. I got chills when he came out last night. Any man that wears high heels daily deserves to be loved by every woman.

Paris: No not Hilton, although I think she's a stupid whore too. Paris Bennet, can you do a show without crying? Your ass is ugly enough without all the mellow dramatic bullshit.

David Hasselhoff: I could wale on his idiot but there is nothing that I could say that would be worse than him CRYING during American Idol while on national T.V. Someone should lock this fool in a mental ward. Would anyone like to recommend one?

Michael Sandecki: This is the young man that impersonated Clay Aiken during his auditions. He was given an award for worse impersonation last night and brought on stage to sing. During his performance the one and only Clay Aiken surprised him by coming out on stage to finish the song. OMG, did ya'll see this boys teeth?? Here's a tip..........take that trophy and sell it, then call a dentist ANY DENTIST and get your grill fixed. It looked like all your teeth were having a meeting up front.

For all the nosy ass people out there that think it is their civil right to voice their opinions about other peoples children........SHUT THE FUCK UP. No parent wants to hear what you think is best for children. As parents, we kinda have an idea of what is best. Hey, I have an idea. Why don't you have a couple of kids and then you can fuck them up as badly as you want. MmmK!

Thanks a million to Mrs. Debbie for making Ben and I the most wonderful dessert I have ever eaten in my life for our anniversary. Instead of eating it I should just rub it on my ass and thighs. That's right where it's going to go anyway!

Congrats to Kimberly for 19 days sobriety! You can do it.

HER STORY

2006-05-24T09:37:00.000-05:00

I have talked a lot about my life experiences and people in my life. I have shared stories about ex's and my sister and damn near everyone else I come into contact with. I have recently had the pleasure of meeting and talking to a young lady whose stories of drug use and street survival have amazed me. She is engaged in an all out war with herself. Her stories of success, failure and self destruction will shock, anger and sadden you.

Kimberly graduated High School and immediately entered college. By her early twenties she was making $60-$70,000 a year working as an advertising agent. High end meeting and deadlines wearing hundred dollar suits. Living in a luxury apartment, driving a nice car and having the finer things in life. This is the time Kimberly refers to as "the normal people life".

Her life now consist of drugs, jail and wondering where she will sleep most nights. Today marks 18 days of sobriety. Good start? I hope it is. Although, she just got out of jail last night. She was arrested, after having her bond revoked, in a hotel room with 6 other people smoking crack. Kimberly had been out of a court ordered 45 day rehab stay for 3 days when she was arrested. " We had enough time to flush the drugs before they kicked the door in", she says. "The cops normally turn off the water to the hotel room before a bust to prevent us from flushing", she grins.

To meet this young lady has been my pleasure. She is such a funny and intelligent woman. "The guy that handed me my first crack pipe didn't bother to tell me that he had been struggling with an addiction for nine years and had lost everything", she says. That probally would have been a good tip. "In the beginning as I sat in my business suit, during my coffee break, getting high it didn't seem as "bad" because I was dressed nice". "I went from dating Senators to sleeping with drug dealers for crack", she admitts.

From living in a luxury apartment to staying in hotel rooms full of addictes smoking crack. She describes staying up for six days straight on crack. No sleep, no food, nothing but water. Kimberly confesses that this isn't a "fun " life. Its hard work once you get in to it. Having to "find" drugs is exhausting.

Well, Kimberly is headed out the door to go to an AA meeting, and her family continues the search to find a secondary program to get her into before she relapses again. "I want to be clean, I don't want this life anymore. I try to stay away from the drug people. The day I got out of rehab I had been clean for 44 days. I wanted to stay clean, but then my hands start shaking and I want it so badly. I was shooting up crack by mid night."

I will share more from Kimberly later, but until then everyone keep your fingers crossed for her and her family in your prayers.

OMG, it's been a year?

2006-05-22T16:45:00.000-05:00

That's right ladies and gents, my husband has survived a whole year with me. Yesterday was our anniversary. As I previously explained we will be celebrating the occasion in Denver in July. But none the less it's still our anniversary.

I sat today at thought about all the things that have happened in during the last 12 months. There have been some wonderful times and of course some hard times. I can however, say that we both work on our marriage everyday. It isn't always easy, but nothing ever really is. I can say that I am a better person today than I was three years ago when Ben and I met.

Ben makes me want to be a better person. He shows me that no matter what happens our love will always be here. Nothing can come between us, only make us stronger. There are times when I forget how lucky I am to have him in my life. But the thought of not having him here is unbearable. I can honestly say that I love him more today than I did yesterday and I'll love him more everyday.

I normally do don't the "video" thing BUT I found the video to the first song that Ben and I danced to as husband and wife. The first time he heard this song he called me and told me he had found the PERFECT song to describe his feelings. So here it is. Hope you enjoy!!

ADDICTED (Enrique Iglesias)

Video Code provided by VideoCodeZone.Com

TAG, I'M IT!

2006-05-18T20:12:00.000-05:00

I got tagged by my bestest guy friend PHIL, thanks dude........

I am .....Master of the Universe.

I said....shut up and rub my feet, bitch.

I want....a massage while I sip on a glass of red wine!

I wish......for three more wishes.

I hate....stupid people.

I miss....my abs.

I fear.....slithering snakes.

I hear.....that I am feared.

I wonder.....are people born crazy.

I regret.....that I married Satan.

I am not....easily persuade

I dance....the night away

I sing.....NEVER

I cry .....when I am upset or really pissed off (this is your cue to RUN)

I am not always....this amusing

I made....bitches cry

I write.....every day.

I confuse.....idiots with big words.

I need....to shave my legs

I should....stop buying shoes.

I start....around the 3rd of each month.

I finish....about 4-5 days later.

I know....I am in love.

I can.....put my feet behind my head.

I cannot......tell a lie!

I see....the future

I blog.....about my life and the insanity it holds.

I read......quickly

I am aroused by......soft kisses on my ear

It pissed me off......to hear people whining.

I find....that I am right 99% of the time!

I like.....to have my back scratched.

I love....everyone!

I tag:
Ginger
Stephanie
Cara
J.
Sarah

TAKIN' CARE OF BUSINESS

2006-05-17T23:34:00.000-05:00

That's right folks. I have business to take care of this weekend. What business you ask? Well please allow me to explain.

Me, all my girlfriends and a whole lotta ice cold beer. Showfest will be hitting Greenville again and I get to go see all my friends. Jeez, it seems like it has been forever since I've been home to see them. I can't wait.

Today has been quite eventful. Work was absolutely crazy!!!! Ya'll just thought I had drama! Hell NO. Not compare to this group of misfits. It actually leaves me speechless and that damn hard to do. I'll gossip more about them later.

I made a couple of blog post over at MySpace and was thrilled to get such a positive response. WHY, you ask! Because I was being me that's why. You remember ME don't you? The bitch from hell. The chic that use to wail on a daily basis about all the stupidity in this world. Well, it seems like a few people have missed that person and they were damn glad to see her again. You guys over here better get ready cuz she's headed this way to.

On that note. Laurie over at Beauty and the Beer made an excellent point the other day about these stupid ass BlueTooth devices that half of America seems to have growing from the side of their fucking heads. I hate these damn things. YOU LOOK LIKE AN IDIOT! Answer your damn phone you loser. I explained how I enjoy following these people around Wal Mart and Kroger while encouraging Rachel to sing in her BIG voice. Well, as I stood in a 10 mile line the other day for lunch, the punk ass little no job having, living with my momma and spending grand fathers money crackhead in front of me was talking and laughing and chuckling the entire freaking time on his nifty little Blue Tooth! I kept my cool until HE made it to the counter. YAY I'm next. 30 seconds passed and this mother humper has made no effort to place his order. I am getting pissed. I have an hour lunch break. I hace spent half of it in line and I want to order my chicken salad NOW!

The chic behind he counter has said "May I help you" THREE damn times and this ass wipe brushes her off. So do I say "Excuse me" and ease in front of him? Do I wait and risk being late to work? WHAT DO I DO??? haha How well do ya'll know me?

I stepped up and stood right beside him. When I say right beside, I mean we looked like Siamese twins. Connected at the arm pit! Then in my LOUD voice I said "I WANT A CHICKEN SALAD, NO OLIVES, RANCH DRESSING, UNSWEET TEA WITH TWO LEMONS AND SALTINE CRACKERS". Then I reached into my purse, grab a ten and tried to hand it to him.

His face went blank. He was speechless. He looked at me all crazy like. This was the remainder of the conversation....

Dumbass: Excuse me
Me: HUH
Dumbass: Excuse me!!
Me: Oh, I thought you were bypassing the order taker and talking to the chef through your ear walkie talkie and since I have a fucking job that I must get back to I thought you could be a sweety and put my order in with yours.
Dumbass: Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, no I was talking to my homie!
Me: Oh, my apologies. (load voice kicks in again) Then carry your punk ass outside and talk to your homie and so I can get my chicken salad before my head starts spinning around and I mess my hair up.
Dumbass: UuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, you can go ahead!

Call the Health Department people. I have found the poster child for birth control!!

My chicken salad rocked.

I'm tired and I don't want to go to work tomorrow. Night Night!

MONDAY........................yuck

2006-05-15T08:33:00.000-05:00

It's Monday. I'm tired. I hope that everyone had a wonderful Mothers Day. I most definitely had a day to remember. Ben's mother, sisters and niece came up to visit. The three girls together are such a handful. haha

Friendships like this last forever......

Saturday was full of friends, beer and CRAWFISH! It was so yummy. I ate way to much but it was great. Spending the day with Niki was a blast. She is such a dear friend and I love every moment we spend together.

Recently I have come across several quotes that have caught my eye. My new favorite is.......

DON'T TELL ME WHAT YOUR GOING TO DO, SHOW ME WHAT YOU'VE DONE

So whats your favorite??

2006-05-11T18:58:00.000-05:00

Oh, the things that I could put in here.

1. I don't give a fuck about stupid people.
2. I don't give a fuck about whinny ass people
3. I don't give a fuck about people that don't like me, agree with me, or talk shit about me. They are a waste of good oxygen.
4. I don't give a fuck about Drama queens that try to make everything about them so they have a reason to play poor pitiful me.
5. I don't give a fuck about pissing anyone off.
6. I don't give a fuck about what people think.
7. I don't give a fuck about shit that doesn't matter.

Anyway, you get the point. Now it's your turn. Write down what you don't give a fuck about. If you don't want to use your name then sign in anonymous. This is your opportunity to get it off your chest. Say what you really mean.

RAMBLINGS

2006-05-09T14:25:00.000-05:00

I couldn't think of a specific topic to discuss or bitch about, so I am just going to ramble on about whatever I want to today. Just random thoughts, likes, dislikes, and opinions. So sit back, hold on, shut up, and enjoy.

The weather sucks today. I am so tired of rain. I hope that it is pretty this weekend so that we can take the kids to the water park. I've gotta get Rachel out of the house and away from the slot machine. YES, I said slot machine. For Rachels 4th birthday, my father bought her a Las Vegas style slot machine from a casino. She loves it. She shoves those coins in as fast as her little fingers will go. She dances and screams with every win, no matter how big or small.

Ben and I will be enjoying another Widespread Panic show tonight. I can't wait. We always have a good time so I am excited about going.

If there is ever a time that you think you are absolutely crazy, please just take a quick trip to MySpace. You will quickly realize that there are a helluva lot more people crazier than your ass will ever be. I promise.

Summer is almost here and I am proud to announce that I have lost 10 pounds. YAY. Now, all I have to do is keep it off and tighten up my ass. I've been considering starting back some light weight lifting. I always enjoyed working out and lifting weights. I just don't have the motivation that I use to have. grrr

With warmer weather rapidly approaching, I am beginning to see more and more women out and about that apparently do not own mirrors. Someone should tell these people that one size fits all is not a true statement. Buy clothes that fit your ass, not clothes that use to fit your ass.

MmmK, I'm threw bitching now. I am going to have a cold beer and pretend that it is Friday.

THIS THAT AND EVERYTHING ELSE

2006-05-08T10:17:00.000-05:00

Aren't we cute? Should'a seen us at 2am. Whew...after countess cans of beer, rain, crawfish, jam packed concerts and a night club! Yeah, we looked a little different. To spite the weather we had an amazing time. I got to meet the members of "Puddle of Mud" and they all signed my tank top! YAY. Well kinda yay, cuz now I can't wear it anymore. Not only was it my new tank but it is really cute, NOW it's memorabilia.

Being around 10,000+ people, it was the perfect opportunity to have a little "contest". There were six of us, so we decided to have "The Ugly Picture" contest. Rules are simple.. whoever can take a picture with the ugliest person WINS. The race was on. I have never laughed so hard in all my life. Christi was in charge of the pictures and after several hours and several beers she accidently dropped her camera and not only broke it, but we lost all the pics. :( Even without the photos, I indisputably won. I found two guys that had three teeth between them. It was priceless. These two were the epitome of "country". My brother came in a close 2nd with a chic that resembled a Volkswagen Beetle that had smashed into a wall.

We jammed to Staind from the 2nd row of a raised platform. As with any event in the South that involves alcohol and Rednecks, there was a huge fight. I stood in amazement at these fools fighting like Tyson and Holifield. Then I got pissed cuz my $5 can of beer got knocked outta my hand. COUNTRY BUNKINS! If your going to fight, do it in the middle of the street like I do! Not in the mist of a crowded platform where innocent people lose their alcoholic beverages. Fights over and the partying continues.

After the concerts we head to our favorite restaurant, Buffalo Wild Wings for some food and more beer. We meet up with a few more friends and all end up going to a night club downtown. We walk in the door and the first thing that I see is some dumb ass drunk bitch standing at the end of the bar, money in hand, trying to order a drink and vomiting in the floor. OK, I am way to old for this shit. Ben and I never go out to clubs and now I remember why. Seems like the fact that your vomiting on yourself in front of probally 1000 people, would be a clue that "YOU DON'T NEED ANYMORE ALCOHOL". I'm sure the guy that helped her to the trash can in the corner won't have a hard time getting want he wants later.

P.S. Rachel's new word is "actually". Helluva lot better than vagina!

DO WHAT???

2006-05-04T18:48:00.000-05:00

For those of you that do not, I AM THE USELESS KNOWLEDGE QUEEN! I possess an alarming amount of trivia. I amaze myself sometimes. With this in mind, let me say this...."The stupid mother humpers at Rock 103 are full of shit."

Up for grabs this morning from our local Rock station was a pair of backstage passes to meet Staind. I hit re-dial damn near 50 times before it began ringing. YAY! They answer. I get to play "Let's Make a Deal". The first question is......."What animal turns its stomach inside out" I guessed it right with the "starfish"! The second question is......"Does a Turkey gobble?" HELLO!!! "YEAH"

These stupid crackheaded inbreed not knowing shits said "NO they do not". WTF! I politely and very loudly ask "THEN WHAT THE FUCK DO THEY DO?" The stupid bitch on the other end says "I dunno, maybe it's called something else"

Guess what you dumb asses. It's called gobbling. Turkey's fucking gobble. Just ask this freak.
I am a pissed off southern bitch at this point. I just lost backstage passes because some dimwitted hoe didn't do her trivia homework??? Oh, but never fear because I, Master of the Universe, emailed a copy of this page to the radio station, after I wrote YOU ARE A BUNCH OF FUCKTARDS across the top.

Now, I am going to share my new favorite song with everyone. It is very safe to say that we will NOT be seeing this video on MTV anytime soon. I hope you enjoy it. I just love this freaking song, and the video is to die for. DO NOT WATCH AT WORK! There's a few topless strippers dancing around here and there! heehee. I love it!!

CRAZY BITCH by Buckcherry!

A QUICK UPDATE

2006-05-01T10:37:00.000-05:00

Just a quick update to let everyone know that I survived the roadtrip here. We are having such a wonderful time. We arrived Saturday afternoon and dad was already here. Christopher arrived from Atlanta yesterday evening. We grilled out and sat around a bon fire all night catching up.

It is so peaceful and serene here. 6 acres nestled in a country setting with a pond and grassy pastures. Of course I have my spot picked out to build my cabin. Hopefully we'll get to start on it within the next three years. Dad and Brenda (step-mom) will be building in five years when Brenda retires from her job with the state of Alaska. So until then we will continue to meet at our family vacation "mobile home". haha.

We're hitting the town tonight as a late birthday celebration for Christopher and I. I will eat way to much, drink to many beers and beat Bens ass in pool.

I have uploaded tons of pics already so go check em' out. More to come......

P.S. Pray for me for the trip home tomorrow.

BAGS PACKED, BEER ICED DOWN, AND HALF THE HOUSE LOADED UP

2006-04-28T10:09:00.000-05:00

We depart in the morning for a 6 and a half hour drive to Searcy Arkansas to see the fam. My father will be arriving Sunday from Alaska and my brother from Atlanta. I can't wait.

So everyone cross fingers and do an Indian Dance or whatever might help that I make it through the car ride without my brain exploding and running outta my ear. I have explain how the fumes from the car somehow cause my children to loose their minds and act like a bunch of unruly little brats. I have both DVD players ready to go. Equipped with headphones and 5000 movies. I have purchased enough snacks to feed a small village in the East. If all my wonderful attempts to have a peaceful trip fails, I have also packed rope and duct tape.

It seems like the entire month of May is packed full of excitement and adventure. We will return from dads on Tuesday. My brother, Christopher, will leave dads on Thursday and drive to my house. Christy, Lacy and Garry will arrive on Saturday the 6th when we will be attending the MillerLite Crawfish Boil. 10,000 pounds of crawfish, Staind and Puddle of Mudd jamming and 15,000 people. The best part is we have VIP tickets which means private restrooms, private cash bar in a tent with big screen T.V's to watch the performances if we don't want to stand NEXT to the stage on the VIP platform! I can not wait.

May 9th Ben and I will be jammin to WSP yet again.

Showfest will be hitting Greenville yet again May 19th and 20th. For those of you that do not understand the mayhem that takes place during this weekend then I will be posting pictures and video to show everyone how crazy this weekend gets. Last year got a little crazy so I am hoping for a less dramatic experience this go around.

My ONE year anniversary is also May 21st but Ben and I have decided to postpone any anniversary trips until June so that we can go see WSP at Red Rocks. This has got to be the most beautiful place ever. I can't wait. We will fly out on Friday and fly back on Monday. No kids, no drama, no phones, no computer? Screw that. My puter will be with me. haha

On top of all of this, I am participating in a June wedding as a bridesmaid. (1 of 10) So of course we have got to fit some bridal party partying in there somewhere.

I hope that everyone has a wonderful weekend and I'll keep everyone updated on the trip from my BRAND NEW LAPTOP with wireless internet. Thanks daddy. I love you. I will be adding a pic for everyone see bask in it's glory as soon as I get home since I forgot the cable to my camera. Oh, for those of you that don't know... I got a new job. It's really laid back. I can wear jeans.....YAY NO MORE BUSINESS SUITS! I am handing the accounts receivables for 5 companies. Yeah, momma's makin' bank once again!

Hugs and kisses to my Janie baby. I love you and miss you. U 2 Ginger!

Holla

TENDER HEARTED WALK AWAY......NOW

2006-04-25T19:40:00.000-05:00

I have decided to steal the idea of having ONE day that I just unleash all my fury and bitching on. That my friends is TODAY!!!!! If you are a first time reader, PLEASE leave now and revisit on another day. The rest of you that know me, know what to expect. If you think I am too brutal or WTF ever then you can leave NOW also. MmmK, ready? Good!

I HATE THE STUPID MF'S THAT WORK AT ENTERGY! Some how I got signed up for internet billing WHICH I NEVER SIGNED UP FOR. This stopped bills being mailed to my house, thus meant by the time I figured it out I had a two month bill! YEAH! Then the dumb ass on the phone wanted to know my UserName so that he could delete the internet account and resume paper mailings. My response to this was.... "MY USER NAME IS IF YOU DON'T GET MY FUCKING ACCOUNT FIXED RIGHT THIS SECOND I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND SNAP YOU LIKE A FUCKING TWIG".

American Idol sucks big green donkey d*@ks! Go Taylor and Chris!

Liars! Shut the fuck up. Your not going anywhere or doing shit so stop pretending.

The bimbo at the drive thru window.... Please NEVER say the word "like" ever again while taking my order. If you do I will like OMG like choke like the living hell like right outta your body and like watch you like collapse like right the fuck there. UNDERSTOOD? Like GREAT!

The State Trooper that gave me the speeding ticket the other day, I was wondering?? Your eyes looked glazed, you been eatin Do-Nuts?? I hope you like get constipated and like cramp really bad when your like on your shift and like when you do finally get the urge to shit your like no where close to a bathroom and then you like fart and like shit all over yourself!!! Fucktard!

I realize that so many of you HATE MySpace, but as NinaKay pointed out. No matter how Psychotic you think you are there is always someone on MySpace that is far worse than you are. With that being said I am going to share some more of the glitter-E, blinking, funny, dirty shit from the Dark Side! Enjoy.

Ben found a pic of his ex!

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

WHAT????

2006-04-19T21:44:00.000-05:00

Is it just me? Am I the only one in a bloggin rut? Things have been so crazy lately. The next three weeks are packed full of fun and excitement for me and the fam. I just don't have shit to write about until the fun arrives!

For those that have not ventured to MySpace, let me invite you. No where else on the planet earth can you have complete access to so many stupid mother puckers. The people on this shit have no shame. You can email these crazy ass people from all over the world. I am absolutely amazed that people will voluntarily display the shit that these people do! It's great. You can instantly display some of the funniest shit I have ever seen. I searched and found a few of my favorites for ya! So if you need a little shock and a little giggle to get you over hump day, then continue to scroll down!! A quick thanx to MySpace.........

I mean DAMN!!

I can't believe that you are laughing about an old lady getting kicked in the floor!

I know, I know that all this shit is tacky! Guess what? I don't give a flying poop! Laugh because you know you want to! Now have a puddin pop and a good day!

QUICKIE

2006-04-18T20:48:00.000-05:00

Just a quick "hello" to say howdy. I have so much going on that I have neglected my everyone, and for that I am sorry.

Rachel is doing so much better and her finger is healing wonderfully. Thanks for all the well wishes.

I am considering taking up kick boxing. I practiced martail arts YEARS ago, and I loved it. A gym close to my house offers a kick boxong class and I am thinking about taking the class. I need to get back into shape, and it's a great stress reliever. I think I'll give it a try.

My dad will be in from Alaska in two weeks and I can't wait. I haven't seen him in about 6 months so I miss him greatly. He bought my four year old a Las Vegas Casino Slot Machine, equiped with 500 golden coins. YAY!!! Now I'll be raising a lil gambler.

Be back soon. I am exhausted and my husband has a hot bath and a cold beer waiting on me so I'll blog ya later!

E.R. TRIPS, ROAD TRIPS & ANOTHER LESSON FROM LISA

2006-04-16T20:28:00.000-05:00

THE EMERGENCY ROOM TRIP

Since everyone has had enough time to get use to my bitching and griping, I am going to jump right into it. So sit back and enjoy!

Last Tuesday my precious little angel was sitting in OUR front yard playing when a neighbors dog ran into her lap. Now Rachel loves animals so she wasn't frightened in the least. The old man tugged on the dogs leash and called for him. Apparently this pissed the dog off, and he bites Rachel. She screamed out in pain. I rushed to her as fast as I could. I grab her and run into the house to examine the damage. Her pinky finger had a scratch from below the nail up to her knuckle. She also had four puncture holes above her knuckles. Tears filled my eyes as I watched her little hand bleeding into mine.

The kicker is, that old mother f@*cker never spoke a word. He dragged that vicious piece of shit dog out of my yard and scurried his plastic hip having ass up his drive way. His fucking dog just bit my child IN MY YARD and this old bastard didn't even ask if she was ok. He walked his old shriveled up ass up his driveway as my baby screamed in pain. I was tempted to throw Zack's basketball and tag his ass in the back of the head and then yell "Oops, sorry" and walk off! 5 days later he still has NOT EVEN SPOKEN TO US!!! Grrrrr........

I immediately called the doctors office. Apparently it was let the dumb chic answer the phone day. I explained in detail what had just occurred. The dumb ass on the other end ask if I thought the puncture's would require stitches and I explained that they were small in size. Dumb ass informs me that I should watch for infection, keep the wounds cleaned and treated with Neosporin.

Three days later, Rachel wakes up with a pinkie finger the size of a man's. Her entire finger is a purple-ish color with a red streak moving down her palm. I freaked out AGAIN. I immediately pick up the phone and call the doctors office yet again. I am lucky enough to have dumb ass answer my call again. I describe Rachels finger and again explain how the wound was received. I was given an appointment for 4 hours later. Twenty minutes before my appointment the doctors office calls me back. I was informed that DUMB ASS wasn't aware of protocol and that the dr.'s office would not be seeing us today. According to regulations any wound caused by an animal must go to the Emergency room.

I pack Rachel up and head out to the E.R. We arrive and as I sign in I'm told to expect a 4 hour wait OR longer. Grrr. I head to the potty with Rachel. When we return to take our seats in the waiting room, we are greeted by a doctor and a nurse. We were immediately taken to a treatment room. The doctor begins explaining to me that anytime an animal breaks the skin ALWAYS bring them in for treatment. I felt horrible. I wanted to go choke the dumb ass that told me to just "watch it". I was informed that Rachel would have to have blood work done, and may have to be admitted into the hospital. My heart just dropped. The blood work was done and the results were delivered ASAP. WooHoo, no hospital stay. Meds were prescribed BUT we have to return in 48 hours to repeat the blood work to make sure the infection hasn't entered the blood stream. It's back home to pack for our weekend trip to Hellville for Easter!

THE ROAD TRIP

So Ben and I packed up the youngins' and head to hellville Friday night. As we neared city limits I got this sick feeling in my stomach, a sick feeling that stayed until we departed on Sunday afternoon.

I haven't figured out what it is about a vehicle that makes my children go completely insane, but it is damn near unbearable. The two hour drive to hellville is HELL in itself. My children fuss and complain about everything, every single second of the ride. No matter how hard I try I can not seem to achieve a "peaceful" road trip. I purchased $500.00 in portable DVD players, they fuss about what the OTHER one is watching. The headphones are to tight. The glare from the other T.V bothers them. WHAT???

I threaten duct tape and rope. I bribe them. We travel late in hopes that one or both will go to sleep. Nothing seems to work. Rachel screams every time Zack so much as looks at her. They play the "NO I DIDN'T"....."YES YOU DID" game the entire trip. I am ready to pull every single strand of hair out of my fucking head and shove it in my ears by the time we arrive. God, please help me!!!

WHAT NOT TO DO EASTER WEEKEND

Ben and I joined a few, ok about 30, friends at Garfields Saturday night for drinks. We had a blast. Everyone telling old stories from High School and "nights" out on the town. I got to meet a few more people from his past and had the chance to put faces with a few names. I was reminded yet again how lucky we are to have so many great people in our lives.

So around 10:00 we hear a commotion on the other side of the restuarant. Apparently, a young lady had received a tip that her "man" was having dinner with another chic. This woman walks up to the table a slaps the piss out of this guy. I am dying out laughing. This guy hits her BACK! The girlfriend shakes it off, gets a crazy look in her eyes, and picks HIS plate of food up and shatters the plate over HIS HEAD! I am staring at these crazy mother humpers like they are a freak show at the circus. This guy jumps up and punches her in the face about 3 times. You know those real quick fast jabs to the face that you see on the boxing network?? That's what he did!

People are rushing the table at this point. He gets up and walks out the door. This crazy ass girl follows him out, along with about 15 other people. Needless to say......Shit got ugly outside. I sat patiently, INSIDE, and waited to hear gun shots. We are in the DEEP SOUTH. There aren't many fights with that many people involved, that do not end up in a gun fight!

Lesson here............. Don't take your mister out to eat on Easter weekend because someone WILL tell your girlfriend.

P.S. Happy Birthday Lacy!

P.S.S. Ben, I love you! Thanks for the Easter gift and for making every occasion a special one.

THE POST

2006-04-15T14:15:00.000-05:00

If you dont really know me, HERE I AM! MILITARY WIFE AND MOMMA

Carrie&Hunter

Monday, June 12, 2006

Private Profile......
Current mood: aggravated
Category: Friends

I normally wouldn't post about this but i just want everyone to see just how crazy.............................

Yeah so, i have a few friends on my list that have their profile set to private for GOOD reasons! What i dont understand are these people who just want to be 14 years old again! GROW THE FUCK UP! Damn!

I recently had a chick subscribe to my blog. Since she wasn't on my friends list and I didnt recognize her, i went to her page to check her out. When i got to her top eight, i noticed that she is friends with the one and only person i have blocked from my page. HMMMMM..... I didnt think too much about it yesterday but Today, i was gonna send my new reader a message asking her if i knew her from somewhere. Well when i go to her page today, it is set on private. WTF???? You just dont go around subscribing to peoples blogs you dont know then put your page on private so the blogger can't even ask you a question! Thats retarded!

When you subscribe to someones blog, that is you waving a huge flag that says, "I'M READING EVERY WORD YOU WRITE!!!!" I have other readers and i am a reader of blogs as well. So it doesn't make since to subscribe to someones blog and then try to hide!!!! Thats just WEIRD!

I told Hunter that she must find me interesting since i dont write about her 'friend' or anything else related to her!

Hell, maybe i should just be like the COOL people and put my age as 14 years old!!! Or maybe i will just set my blog to private and be COOL that way too! HAHAHAHAHA

I am here for old friends and new friends and with a private profile the ones that aren't on my list already dont get to see the profile that i worked hard on making wonderful! In my opinion, if your not 14 and it says you are, you are hiding something. Maybe your talking shit and dont want people to read it. Maybe your ugly and dont want people to see you. Or maybe you really do feel cool! BWAHAHAHAHA <--(Chastity, you should get a kick out of that) You know something else, if you didnt want strangers looking at your page, then you shouldnt have started the damn thing in the first place. And if you didnt want me looking at your page then why did you subscribe to my blog??? So you can be a little shit starter?? So you can run back and tell all your little friends what i write?? **NEWSFLASH** THEY CAN READ IT FOR THEMSELVES! MY SHITS NOT ON PRIVATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! On the other hand, If you like what you read and you really do like me, then why not just send me a friend request or better yet, a message saying you like my blog posts?????????? Oh thats right, you sure wouldn't want to piss HER off now would you? Your a grown ass woman with a family so why pull this pety, childish, nonsense? I guess thats just how 'THOSE' people roll! WHATEVER~~ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

COMMENTS

8:51 AM - 15 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Heather Wilson

I don't think there's anything wrong with setting your profile to 14. However, subsribing to someones blog you dont even know is a little creepy and in that case I would probably if I were you set my profile and blogs to private and/or preferred list. To me, there's just some people who I'd rather not be all in my business and thats why in the past I have set it to private. A little tip though....if you set your profile to 14 and log out and log back in you can see her profile....and then you can change your age back when you are done looking at her page.

Posted by Heather Wilson on Monday, June 12, 2006 at 9:44 AM
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Reply to this]
Carrie&Hunter

Well that would be one of the GOOD reasons to have your profile on private. To keep out the weirdos!

Still to this day i am finding more and more old friends and thats why i haven't yet. If i keep attracting these crazy people, i guess i will! I am still holding on to a little ray of hope that they just go away but i am coming to terms with the fact that THEY WONT!

By the way, I guess after reading this one, she unsubscribed to my blog! LMFAO!

Posted by Carrie&Hunter on Monday, June 12, 2006 at 10:31 AM
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Reply to this]
StewartFan

Man you sure know how to give people hell when they make you mad, dont ya. Remind me to never piss you off and for those who do....here's a new pic for you to send them.

.

Posted by StewartFan on Monday, June 12, 2006 at 10:48 AM
[Reply to this]
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Carrie&Hunter

I think there is a place for all stupid people and it aint HERE!!!!!!! LOL!

Posted by Carrie&Hunter on Monday, June 12, 2006 at 10:57 AM
[Reply to this]
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Heather Wilson

BTW, did you get your money back??

Posted by Heather Wilson on Monday, June 12, 2006 at 11:07 AM
[Reply to this]
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Carrie&Hunter

OH YEAH GIRL! I GOT MY MONEY THE SAME DAY I WROTE THAT BLOG! LOL

Posted by Carrie&Hunter on Monday, June 12, 2006 at 11:18 AM
[Reply to this]
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chastity & Jason!

Well, Well this shit has gone BONKERS! I think it is very FLIPPO for a person to subscribe to your blog and then go put there page on private. It makes us wonder what they are hiding for. You just don't go do something like that without a MOTIVE-which is very CREEPY! Your becoming a LEGEND on here. That is because not only are you INTERESTING but you are also ESQUISITED and MARVELOUS!! All these other "Section 8 people" are just jealous because you have a life and they apparently don't! My page is on private because of all these PREDATORS on here! It is beyond me on how OBSESSED these FOOLS easily become. Why can't you people be LEADERS instead of FOLLOWERS! It is so clear she has these FOOLS mislead and scared, which is a damn shame! Carrie you should feel PRICELESS from all this INFATUATION! You have always been a very ADMIRABLE LADY! This MYSPACE has become PHENOMENAL! Ha! HA! Ha! HA! Your blog was SKOOKUM! You need to keep posting blogs because KNOWLEDGE & WISDOM is good for these FOOLS to read! Well this has started to be a MAGNIFICANT week. When you don't have a special gift like talent, or to be unique what else are you to do other than be a COPY-CAT! Some person needs to accept the fact she will ALWAYS be nothing but left-overs! BWAHHHHH!!!! Don't put your page on private just yet, this is becoming SENSATIONAL!

Posted by Chastity & Jason! on Monday, June 12, 2006 at 11:56 AM
[Reply to this]
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Carrie&Hunter

i have tried my hardest to keep our names out of their mouths but no matter how hard we try they just can't stop talking about us. I would normally delete any comments made about HER but fuck, whats the point? I can only take so much of the same OLD bullshit! To be honest, i will throw the biggest party when you get the hell away from her and her drama addicted friends! They just walk around places like Wal-Mart looking for something to say to someone! guess some people never grow up.

Posted by Carrie&Hunter on Monday, June 12, 2006 at 12:59 PM
[Reply to this]

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chastity & Jason!

Okay I wanted to add this qoute I got from Brandy's blog!

The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches!

I think these are some strong words of encouragement for these FOOLS! Everyone has a past. So don't try to be so damn innocent. The harder you fools judge Carrie and I, the harder GOD is going to JUDGE YOU!! WHY don't you go get your BIBLE out instead of reading CARRIE'S BLOGS it might do you some good??? It is so ovious you, FOOLS are unhappy and have NO FUCKING LIFE! I don't feel sorry for any of you. I think it is PATHETIC! Let the GRUDGES go and maybe you might be spared some happiness in your life!

Posted by Chastity & Jason! on Monday, June 12, 2006 at 12:23 PM
[Reply to this]
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Carrie&Hunter

Since posting this 1 blog i have had more people look at my blog today than i did all last week. That just goes to show that HER friends can't stay off my page and eat it up everytime i post something about anything that deals with her. ALL OF THEM! They all know who they are. The ones that will probably get a phone call or a message saying, "OMG did you see what Chastity wrote on her page? Blah Fuckin Blah!" That is what you call, WANTING THE DRAMA! But then again, so many people can tell you so many times to let shit go. After a few months of constantly trying to copy the one you hate, it's obvious she just enjoys the shit out of messing with you/us! Little does she know who is really laughing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I also wouldnt be surprised if a random person leaves a comment on here! BWAHAHAH

I LOVE YOU LOVAH!

(It's not very funny to be, in return, copied is it???? )

Posted by Carrie&Hunter on Monday, June 12, 2006 at 1:06 PM
[Reply to this]
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chastity & Jason!

OMG! I know she didn't call you on the phone. It wouldn't suprise me if she did. Now that the tables are turned, WHO controls WHOSE life??? Who got there feelings hurt?? Who is the one who jumped up and called you today after you posted this bulletin and harrassed you??? Actions speak louder than words. Leave my family alone! Enjoy your life while your still here. Life is too short too hold grudges!!

Posted by Chastity & Jason! on Monday, June 12, 2006 at 1:37 PM
[Reply to this]
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Carrie&Hunter

Suprise Suprise.....it was HER! LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by Carrie&Hunter on Monday, June 12, 2006 at 2:00 PM
[Reply to this]
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
jess & taylor

SHUT THE F@#K UP!!!!

YALL ARE WEARING ME OUT!!!!! BLAH.. BLAH.. BLAH

GIRL YOU KNOW I LOVE YOUR ASS BUT DAMN... ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!!!

Posted by jess & taylor on Monday, June 12, 2006 at 2:00 PM
[Reply to this]
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Carrie&Hunter

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! YOU KNOW JESSICA, A PERSON CAN ONLY TAKE SO MUCH UNTIL THEY JUST GO THE FUCK OFF. SHE CALLED MY HOUSE A MIN AGO~ AGAIN~ TELLING ME I WAS A FAT WHORE AND IGNORANT....WHAT THE FUCK?

YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU TOO BUT I'M SURE YOU GOT AN EAR FULL THIS PAST WEEKEND SO.........

Posted by Carrie&Hunter on Monday, June 12, 2006 at 2:09 PM
[Reply to this]
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chastity & Jason!

You know Jessica if you were in our shoes, you would see it differently. But you are right, ENOUGH is ENOUGH so tell your "friend" to shut- the fuck up and she better NEVER call Carrie again. She had NO business calling Carrie other than to start more shit. Don't you think it is crazy she called Carrie. I mean lets be COOL and call people we don't like and tell them they are a Fat-Whore. People like "her" aren't HAPPY with their life or else they wouldn't continue to fuck with ours. It is so ovious she has to say mean things to make herself feel better. Which means she is more pathetic than I thought. She has way too many insecure and jealous issues. I hope she gets help before it is too late. If she continues this OBSESSIVE-BEHAVIOR it might be for the BEST! Her day is coming because her mouth is going to get her into some shit she can't get out of. That will be the day, she will meet her MATCH! It just amazes me all the influence she has over you poor pitiful FOOLS! GOD knows all, and sees all and that is the only thing that matters! You can't convience GOD to believe your lies but you can convience this gulliable fools and you will pay the price for it!

Posted by Chastity & Jason! on Monday, June 12, 2006 at 2:17 PM
[Reply to this]

About | FAQ | Terms | Privacy | Safety Tips | Contact Myspace | Report Inappropriate Content | Promote! | Advertise | MySpace Shop

©2003-2006 MySpace.com. All Rights Reserved.

TODAY'S LESSON WILL BE....

2006-04-14T08:02:00.000-05:00

Hello my darlings! I have missed you the last couple of days. Things have been so crazy around here lately that I have neglected you and for that I apologize. I hope that everyone is having a wonderful week and I wish you all a Happy Easter.

I have discussed the topic of this post with Ginger for a couple of weeks now. I wasn't sure if I wanted to write this or not. Of course Ginger has encouraged me to do so the whole time. She told me that she also wrote about this early in here "blogging" journey, so I decided to go check out her post on the topic. I knew it was a sign when I looked at the date of her post. It was Easter weekend. So here goes...........

When I started this blog I had no idea what all this stuff was. What do people find to write about everyday? As a matter of fact Jane Claire is the one that ask me to start one and let her mommy design it. Of course Ginger was thrilled and I couldn't wait to get started with a page of my very own. I have kept journals all my life. I love to write. I can express myself better with a pen and paper than in any other way. Writing is one of the only ways that I had to deal with feelings and emotions during my first marriage. My journal was my best friend. Sometimes the only person I had to listen to me.

I started out shaky on here, but got comfortable very quickly. Having just moved away from all our friends and family, the blog gave me a chance to "hang out" a little. I kept the blog to myself at first. Ben and Gina knew about it, but that was it. I didn't want everyone in Greenville reading it, we moved from there for a reason. Therefore, I kept it quiet from our families and friends.

I was nearing the end of my first month as a Blogger, and had fallen in love. It was great. I could sit down and just write. I didn't think about what anyone would say because I write like no one reads it. This is mine and I can bitch about everything (it gives my husband a break) or laugh about whomever. I can talk about the good, the bad, the ugly! If someone wants to read then they can, if not they leave. It's great, but I still wasn't ready to blurt out the web address. After everything that had happened in Greenville, and EVERYONE constantly asking about it. Having people in your business all the time. Having to keep a log book of every place we go. I didn't want "Greenville" involved again.

Make no mistake about it. I am not stupid or naive and I was aware that eventually it would come out. Not the first damn month, but eventually. I was hoping to get court out of the way and put all that behind us before "she" found out and started reading. This is where I was stupid!! None of MY friends (except Gina) and no one in our families knew about this blog. Hell, my in laws are Ginger's EX in laws and they NEVER knew about her site after 2 years. I felt pretty confident that I had a good six months or so. Yeah right. Within the first month the main reason we left Greenville was all over this shit. The person that said I stalk her, she fears for her life. Her sister had created a blog and hidden her true identity and started commenting on my blog everyday. I had no idea who it was. I was clueless that these two were reading everything that I wrote.

I actually thought about deleting the blog. I did not want her reading about me and my children. I couldn't figure out why she would want to. The biggest mystery is how the hell did they find this shit so fucking quickly? Did they just sit down one day and Google my name? WTF? I was disappointed that yet again "she" had found a way to involve herself in our lives. Then I was pissed off because yet again "she" had found a way to involve herself in our lives. I unleashed! Knowing that they were reading I began telling the story of everything that had happened in the past. The very first post I got exactly what I wanted. Not only did she comment anonymously but her sister's identity got blown out of the water to everyone that she had befriended.

Now, should I have done that differently? Probally so. Would I do it again? Probally so. To be honest I actually thought that reading the post and all the comments would make her realize that she needed to just leave it alone. Go on with her life and stop worrying about ours. That didn't happen. Within weeks half of the town knew about my blog. Not only did she continue to read daily, butshe told everyone. Now her family and friends were reading. This person told that person and that person told someone else and so forth and so forth. My father in law was even informed at work.

I started getting phone calls everyday from people in Greenville informing me that they heard about my site and loved it. People that I didn't even know were sending me messages about this blog. I discussed it with my family and let them know that NO ONE is exempt from the blog. Read at your own Risk! But do not bitch, whine, moan, or groan about the content. A couple of my regular readers were on a rampage about what they were continuing to read daily. WTF? Me being me, the more they bitched the more I wrote. There were some comments made that I was to brutal and mean in my writing sometimes. Of course I think these readers were really unaware of the history behind this. Plus, I am not that nice of a person once you piss me off anyway. Besides, I GOT A BOOK DEAL OUT OF IT!!!

NOW THE REAL REASON I'M WRITING THIS POST....

Shortly after starting the blog, Ginger helped me learn all the tricks of the trade. Get a site meter, halo scan comments and a copy right. I had no idea how much I would enjoy having those things until now. As Ginger stated in her post a year ago, bloggers know these things and NON BLOGGERS do not. So I am going to give a short lesson to the NON BLOGGERS that keep bitching about me and whining about how they just wanna move on and forget about me. Read slowly so you completely understand. Your going to be a little shocked when your finished!!

SITE METER

If you notice the number on the left side bar, the one that shows I have had almost 10,000 hits in three and a half months, that is a site meter. I always like the best of things, so I upgraded to the Plus Account. Don't know what that means?? Let me explain it.

I know every IP address that visits my site. I know your internet provider. I know your referral page and your exit page. I know what time you got on the site, how many pages you looked at, what pages you looked at and how long you stayed on each page. If you use a search engine, I not only know the exact search engine but I also know the word(s) that you searched.

So while you pretend that your not reading, now you know that I see you. I see you everytime. I know when you get to lisaprewitt.com from MySpace. When you access Prewittfamily.blogspot.com and then go back to Lisaprewitt.com and go to Yahoo360. I see every move you make on my sites.

Make no mistake about it. I do not care if you read. The fact that you ever found the site and continued to read it now for 3 months says it all. The fact that I have four sites and they are all visited daily tells me that this is a part of your everyday lives. I just thought it were time to let everyone that reads lisaprewitt.com and prewittfamily.blogspot.com that I am aware if everyday and every visit. Oh, and yes that means I know your work IP and your home IP.

So Happy Reading and you don't have to continue to play and seek. I'VE ALREADY FOUND YOU!

WHAT'S WRONG WITH US????

2006-04-11T11:05:00.000-05:00

Since I started this week off bitching about stupid people, I will continue today. Now, understand something! I don't spend everyday bitching and griping, I just think that if more people were honest about certain situation then things would be a hell of a lot better off. Example: Tell stupid people they are stupid. Tell drama queens to stop whining and force dumb asses that can't drive to take a freaking cab. This is not me being a "bitch", this is me being HONEST. Something that a lot more people need to do.

Parents should stop sugar coating everything that their children do and make them take responsibility for their actions. Example:If I tell my 11 year old to clean his room and put away his things, WHERE THEY BELONG, then that is what I expect him to do. If he doesn't, should I go and do it for him? NO! I want him to learn that HIS belongings are his responsibility and he has to be the one to take care of them. Now, if he chooses not to put his things away and take care of them properly, I reserve the right as homeowner to confiscate any and all personal items. These items are placed in a bag. If he wants any of the items back, he must buy the bag back from me. He can not buy a single item. Its all or nothing.

I'm sure that there are parents that don't agree with my STYLE of parenting, and I don't particularly give a shit. My son is one of the few children in this neighborhood that says "yes ma'am and yes sir". We have had parents compliment him and are shocked that he says this at their homes. WHAT! This is the South. Yes ma'am is a part of our heritage. It is expected in this family. No exceptions.

We teach our kids so many "rights" and "wrongs" but then we don't expect them to make the right choice. 911 is the nations life line for help. We teach our children to dial 911 if there is an emergency or they need help. Are we such a naive group that we don't think there will ever be a prank call or a toddler simply playing on the phone that dials 911? Hell, no! There is training for the operators to help them learn to detect prank calls. What I want to know is this........Who writes these guidelines. As a society, I feel like we EXPECT our youth to make bad choices, and excuse the behavior when they do. If we teach our children to call US for help, then we should be there when they do.

I heard the story of a 5 year old boy from Detroit that did just what he was taught. He called 911 when he needed help. The response he received makes me sick to my stomach. This 5 year old little boy found his mother passed out on the kitchen floor. He felt her tummy and says she wasn't breathing. I attached the actual conversation between the little boy and the operator. What the hell is wrong with this picture???

911 Operator: "911. What's the problem?"

Robert: "My mom has passed out."

The 911 operator, however, did not take him seriously and told him to stop playing on the phone, the station reported.

911 Operator: "Where's the grownups at?"

Robert: (Inaudible)

911 Operator: "Let me speak to her before I send the police over there."

"I tried to tell them she wouldn't talk," said Robert.

Robert: (Inaudible)

911 Operator: "I don't care. You shouldn't be playing on the phone. Now put her on the phone before I send the police out there to knock on the door and you gonna be in trouble."

Robert: "Ugh!" (Hangs up.)

Are you as disgusted as I am right now? Guess what? He called TWICE! The second time three hours later and was told the police were coming to talk to his mother and he would be in trouble for playing on the phone. The police arrived and found his mother dead in the kitchen floor.

The 911 operator was disciplined but because of her years of service will not be fired. I have read the phone call transcript over and over and I can not find one single thing that made me think that would have been a prank call. I just don't understand. We teach our children to do things and yet we have so little faith in our youth that we assume they are doing something wrong.

This little boy lost his mother even after his greatest attempt to save her. So I wonder what happens to those children that actually do make prank calls to 911.

IF YOU DON'T HAVE ANYTHING NICE TO SAY.....

2006-04-09T22:49:00.000-05:00

How many times were you told as a child "If you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all"??????? We have all heard this before. Well, I am going to take that advice and not say anything OUT LOUD! Who can read lips?????????

With that outta the way, on to business.............

Have you ever met anyone that you just wanted to shake the living shit out of? I mean shake them to the point of causing shakin' baby syndrome? Someone that was so damn stupid that you wanted to get a fucking book and beat them over the fucking head in hopes of knocking any sense into their stupid asses? Someone that as soon as they open their mouths you realize they are a waste of a good fuck. Their father should have shot them on the wall!?!? Ok, ok OK I know that was a little graphic. I just don't understand why we can't control the reproduction of stupid people better. I mean we (the smart people) are quickly becoming the minority. We need to do something and QUICK!

Drama Queens! Doesn't the sound of your own whining ass voice make you want to shove a screw driver threw your fucking temple? It does me. Will you please realize that not everything that is said or done is because of you. As bad as you want it to be, it's not. People do make choices based on themselves. Ya know, the best thing for THEM. Not you. Not everyone likes you, thinks your pretty, thinks you popular, likes that ugly ass sweater you love so much. Just because mommy and daddy lie to your face and tell you that you are perfect. HELLO, they are just sick of listening to you too, and are lying to your face so you will shut the fuck up before they shove a screw driver into their temple. So here's an idea for ya... Go home, take a bottle of Tylenol, open it, grab a glass of water, go to your room, and take one! Now take another. Another. Another. Another. Another. DO you get the picture? When the bottle is empty lay back and enjoy your nap. Now, the world will be a lot quieter place.

Blind, no driving, radio blaring, looking in the rear view mirror douche bag. Did you get your drivers license at Wal Mart? No? Oh, I see. You gave the driving instructor head. I am so glad that you passed that test! Now take your license and shove them up your ass because you are going to kill someone if you don't get off the road. I hate to see you on the streets. In your little car, cell phone to your ear, big ass sun glasses on and not paying attention to a damn thing going on. Let me guess, your trying to see how much chrome I have on my bumper? I hope you slam on your breaks while jammin out to your XMradio and that cigarette or blunt or whatever it is your smoking gets rammed down your freaking throat. LEARN how to fucking drive before I get road rage and pull a scene from Fried Green tomatoes on your bitch ass!

WHO DOESN'T WANT FRIENDS LIKE THIS???

2006-04-05T12:56:00.000-05:00

I have talked about friends so much lately that I decided to share one of my favorite videos with everyone. I die laughing every time I watch this. This is what true friendship is all about!!!!

YEAH YEAH YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-04-04T15:24:00.000-05:00

Ok so yeah I'm 31 now! Shut up about it already. Unless of course you have gifts. In which case talk away!!! Today has been great. I have received tons of Happy Birthday wishes and each one has brightened my day even more. I have realized that I am a very lucky YOUNG lady! I have so many wonderful friends, and I am thankful for each one.

My little angel, Rachel, has been singing me Happy Birthday all day. Of course she just wants to know where the cake is! Zack, made sure to make my birthday special as always to. He never fails to put a smile on my face. He is such a little comedian. I love them both dearly.

I have decided to take my Saga writing elsewhere. I started another blog here. I am going to use this space to jot down all my thoughts and try to figure out a workable outline for the book. Do not expect to much organization over there. I may repeat things as I try to get it just right. Bit it will give the readers that like to follow the story a chance to keep up. Thus freeing BUSTED for me to be my normal chipper, insulting, pissed off at stupid people self! YAY!

With that being said, I am going to say this. For the young lady, Carrie, that wrote me emails discussing her involvement in the Psycho situation. I am glad that you have decided to stop calling me a whore, and an UNDERCOVER DRUG HEAD, and a bad mother blah blah blah. But do you really think that because YOU and YOUR SISTER decide to stop trash talking that I should listen to your "suggestion" and not write a book? A book which by the way I do not have to have yours or anyone else's permission to write. I can do whatever I want and there is nothing that anyone can do about it. It's called being an American Citizen. I do appreciate your concern for my well being and my ability to "move on". So now stay the fuck outta my business!

Later! I'm gone to enjoy the rest of my B-day!!!!

FRIENDSHIP

2006-04-03T09:58:00.000-05:00

I STOLE this from my brother's MySpace because I thought it was cute and it is undeniable proof that he and I are 2 peas in a pod.

Are you tired of those sissy-ass "friendship" oaths that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship:

True Friendship:

1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.

2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile -- I will know you finally got laid.

4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you stop whining.

6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.

7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

9. This is my oath..... I pledge it to the end. "Why?" you may ask; "because you are my friend".

P.S. If you haven't played the Name Game then please scroll down to the next post and do so! This is for my benefit not yours so help a sista out!

THE NAME GAME

2006-03-31T13:50:00.000-06:00

If it weren't for this blog then I would have never started writing and things wouldn't have worked out as well as they have for me and the "hell" that we have all been threw.

Going threw all the legalities of publishing this book we are trying to decided whether or not to use our names or to use false names to protect all the people that have been affected by this. With that being said, lets have some fun this weekend and play the name game.

I am going to give all of you the opportunity to give your suggested name for the characters involved. Now, if you are unsure of "the main characters" then go back and read the Saga. Lets have some fun with this. There are numerous MAIN characters so this should be interesting.

Please note that the arresting officer role has already been promised to Phil, and I am sure he would prefer to keep his name. Right Phil?

Have fun and hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!

DECISIONS

2006-03-30T15:12:00.000-06:00

It seems like every time you turn around there has been a new discovery on Cancer. Everything causes cancer these days. You can eat certain foods and get it or eat certain foods to help prevent it. Hell, I never know what to eat.

About 4 months ago I had the pleasure of visiting my gyno office for my regular check up. I spent about thirty minutes listening to him tell me about a blood test that gives you the probablity of your chances in developing breast and uterine cancer. Now the test is not recommended to everyone, normally just women that have a family history of these types of cancer. Well, my mother had a hysterectomy at 27, my sister at 24 from cancer.

As my doctor discussed all of this with me, the one thing I wanted to know was, what to do with the information once you had the test. My doctor reminded me of the Greys Anatomy show where the woman had lost her mother and sister and after having this test decided to have both breast removed and a full hysterectomy. Apparently that is not uncommon of a decision for some women, depending on the test results.

I wasn't convinced. Everyone that knows me knows that I am a fighter. I can't take the possibility of something happening and try to stop it. With an 80% chance of developing cancer, I would take my 20% of not developing it and hold strong. I had discussed having the test with my family and had not made a decision one way or the other.

Then Monday morning I received a phone call from my mother. My sister has been diagnosed with breast cancer. She is now 31 years old. She will have surgery as soon as possible and start kemo therapy.

So, does this change my mind? Knowing that my mother and sister have both been affected my chances are high. In a way I think that I want to know how high the chances are, but I am still at a loss when it comes to "What do I do with the information". Would I then expect the worse? I am happy and I take care of myself, would I always want the "wondering" in the back of my head? I don't think so.

WILL I GET PUBLISHED???

2006-03-29T11:58:00.000-06:00

I was a little shocked at some of the comments that I received yesterday. I mean how common of a problem is this? Several people told of "stalkers" in their lives and I received numerous emails from others. I even received emails from people that know of my situation and were offering support and information that may be helpful to me. I thank you all.

I started the Psycho book a couple of months ago and I must say that even I was shocked at the attention that it got. I always joked about having Meg Ryan play me in the movie. Well, I have been a little secretive about some things surrounding this ordeal. But after the GREAT news that I received this week, I must share it with you all. I was contacted by someone that had followed the story about writing an actual transcript. I was very hesitate because honestly I am not a writer. Well, I am now. I turned in the first two chapters for review. Of course with all the editors and black tape, I am sure there will be several changes. Having the opportunity to tell my story is amazing. I am sure that this will take a while but I can't wait to send all my blogging buddies a copy.

Honestly, I will have to say this is a lot harder than I thought it would be. I have done extensive research on certain topics and I am going to share some more info with all of you. I thought that the lack of cooperation that I received was just "the town" but this is a world wide problem. I just had no idea what I have actually been dealing with.

MUNCHAUSEN'S SYNDROME

False stalking syndrome is similar to another disorder called "Munchausen's Syndrome", named after a Baron who was famous for outlandish stories that were so convincing that people believed him. People with this disorder will go to the doctor for treatment as a means to gain attention, sympathy and support from others. Some mothers will take their children to doctors for treatment that is not necessary - called Munchausen's by Proxy.

Women with false stalking syndrome will go to the police, ministers, friends and others to gain support, friendship and escape from problems in their life. It has not been established whether or not men have this syndrome. Women with this condition are typically dramatic, sexually provocative, live chaotic lives, suffer repeated relationship failures, have financial problems and have very dysfunctional histories usually involving drug or alcohol use. They also have histories of being stalked or know people who have been stalked. Any person who repeatedly places their self in proximity of a person they claim is stalking them is likely to suffer from false stalking syndrome or may be involved in false crime reporting.

The extreme form of Munchausen's involves making up symptoms or inflicting injury through abuse or even poisoning. The extreme form of false stalking syndrome involves creating the appearance that the women's life is ruined or in danger. In this case, a woman repeatedly engages in a relationship with a man, does not tell her support system and then claims to be a victim of stalking. Such women will tell police and the court that they fear for their life, obtain a stalking order and they will then go to the so-called "stalkers" church, community group or place of employment.

The behavior of false stalking syndrome appears to be limited almost exclusively to women. However, both men and women become involved in false crime reporting - usually to get revenge or to discredit the other person during a business conflict, a divorce or child custody dispute.

I finally got around to getting the video concerning yesterday's post uploaded so I decided to go ahead and add it today. I had to do this in sections because the file was to large for my photobucket to host. The first video shows us at the bank and then her showing up. Part 2 is of her step father showing up as she is leaving. Part 3 is as I am leaving Ben's job and her mother passes by so I grab my camera again, you can see that she turned around and came back by and turned around again. Then you see Chastity go by followed by her step father. Now remember she left the bank BEFORE we did. I have dropped my husband off at work and they are still waiting on me. This is someone that fears for her life! I also added the video that I was lucky enough to capture as she was being arrested from work. They are not the best quality but I am sure that you will get the picture. And yes, I know I sound horrible on video!

Video 1

part 2

part 3
All three of the previous clips were recorded within 15 minutes!

Video 2

STALKERS

2006-03-28T08:16:00.000-06:00

I am going to take a break from my usual quirky post and get serious for a moment. I have read several stories lately about internet stalkers and children being lewd into meeting strangers, and then raped and killed. People throw the word 'Stalker" around as if it were a joke. If you read the headlines you will discover it is anything but a joke.

I have shared some of the ordeal in my life with all of you, and I did it in a joking fashion. The truth of the matter is, that now I can laugh about some of it because I don't live it face to face anymore. I never imagined that three and a half years after it started that it would still be affecting my life. If I had known this I would have done things a lot different. I would not have dismissed the actions of this person as "a heart broken young lady".

When people think of a stalker they think of the man in the bushes waiting to attack a young female victim when she least expects it. We, as a society, do not think about female stalkers. The laws aren't designed to protect against them either. I can remember being told by members of the Greenville Police Department that there was nothing I could do about the countless police reports that were made against me. It was explain to me that anyone that knows your name and address can file a police report against you for any reason. The judge will sign a warrant and you will be arrested. It is your obligation to prove your innocence. There was never any type of investigation into any of these reports.

Last year, my car was rear-ended in collision. I had a rental vehicle for almost two weeks. The second day I was in this rental, a Dodge Durango, I sitting in the drive thru at the bank with Ben and my daughter. Within seconds, I seen HER car. I grabbed my video camera and started recording. She pulled into the drive thru also. I recorder her the entire time. The women in the bank recognized her and immediately done her transaction so that she could leave. As she is pulling out onto the road she turns and flips me off. I am still recording. Then, Ben and I turn back to the window to finish our transaction, and her step father is sitting right beside us. We finish our business and pull out. Guess who is waiting for us? This is a woman that says she is fearful for HER life. Yet, she left the bank minutes before us, giving her ample time to get far away. Instead she chose to wait for us so she could flip us off again.

I take Ben back to work, which is about three miles from the bank. I drop him off and as I am waiting to pull back onto the highway, I see HER mother pass by. I start recording again. Her mother turns around and comes back by me, turns around again and passing in front of me a third time. Then I see HER and her step father pass also. I never left the parking lot. I waited for several minutes before leaving to give them enough time to get away from me.

Now, remember how I mentioned that I was driving a Dodge Durango? Ben was working as a Service Advisor for a Toyota dealership in Greenville. His boss also owns the Dodge dealership in town. Well, it seems like SOMEONE called Ben's job and left a message for the owner stating that Ben had been stalking her in a COMPANY vehicle. Can you imagine the amazement that we felt? How in the HELL could anyone in there right mind call a man's job and say something so damn retarded. Especially knowing that I had a video camera?

But that's not all. Oh, no! SHE also went to the police station and made a police report stating that I showed up at the bank while she was making a deposit. That I was screaming and cussing her out and threatening her. Now, let me explain a little something to everyone. Did I mention that I was recording the ENTIRE time? Well, the whole time that she was next to us in the drive thru my window was UP. On the video tape you can hear my radio softly in the background, you can hear my daughter talking to us, and I even recorded the sticker on the bottom of the window as proof that I never rolled it down. Not to mention the workers looking out of the WINDOW of the bank. None of this stopped her from filing a police report and lying, or from stating that she fears for her life. I still have the video so I will probally load it on here for everyone to see.

Has it stopped? NO! It probally never will. I honestly believe that she believes everything she says and done. I do not know why this has continued as long as it has. I do believe that as long as she has a connection to our family she will continue to cause problems. I hate the fact that not only has my step daughter been affected by this but now my niece is. My friends have been caught in this shit along with our families. It is a never ending cycle. I done a little research on this topic and I was blown away at what I read, so I decided to share it with you.

STALKERS

Stalkers don't have a "look." They can't be pointed out of a crowd or noticed in the street. Theyappear as normal as any other person. Contrary to popular portrayal, they aren't all unattractive or unemployed. Because this mania is purely mental, there is no physical indication of an illness at all.

Stalkers aren't pronounced with their obsessions, they aren't obvious. They attempt to create a secrecy surrounding their victim. If they can prevent their victim from notifying others, they can do as they wish.

It should be noted that in order to behave in this manner, most stalkers must be both intelligent and creative.

Stalkers can be professionals or blue-collar workers. They aren't always violent or quick-tempered. Many stalkers do the opposite and carry themselves as very meek individuals. They will be overly quiet, shy, and modest.

The main problem with stalking is the anonymity. There is no stereotypical feature or tendency. The victim won't often realize they are being stalked until it is too late.

There are highly successful stalkers, people with great salaries and esteemed jobs. This illness isn't limited to class or status.

As with all crimes, there are female stalkers as well. Although they receive much less attention, female stalkers can be more vicious and vindictive than the opposite sex.

Female stalkers can abuse the domestic violence laws in effect. They can feign a pregnancy and carry out their stalking for months or years. They can easily assume the role of the victim and pretend to be stalked by the one they pursue.
(Laura Wright)

After reading this, I got a little worried. I mean this shit is like textbook. I do have hope though. It has gotten to the point that the right people now see what is going on. Innocent people are being targeted just for associating with me on a fucking MySpace. Ginger has been verbally attacked by members of this family that have never met her. The road runs out for everyone at some point or another. We no longer live in Greenville, yet she still attempts to have me arrested and pay for ruining her life. WHY? There have been some very interesting developments lately and I have discovered a few laws that do protect me in this situation, so maybe I am nearing the last chapter in my real life. And hopefully, I'll be starting the first chapter of the actual book soon.

BEER TATTOOS & MOTLEY CRUE

2006-03-26T12:33:00.000-06:00

Back in the day there was a very famous saying, one that I am sure is still used today. SEX DRUGS & ROCK-n-ROLL! Well, needless to say, Ben and I rewrote that one! Our experience is better described as BEER TATTOOS & MOTLEY CRUE!

We started out at the motorcycle rally held at the state fairgrounds. It was amazing to see all of these magnificently painted machines. The artwork that went into some of these bikes were breathtaking. Of course who can enjoy motorcycles without a nice cold beer? Damn sure not us!

We walked around enjoying the beautiful weather, the motorcycles, our beer, and just being with each other (with NO kids). Then, there he was! My tattoo artist. I was so excited. I got butterflies in my tummy, a smile was plastered across my face, I felt like a kid at Christmas. I couldn't wait to get in that chair. I will have to say it was weird getting a tattoo with 20+ people watching. By this time Ben had started to get a bit jealous and had a tattoo of his own picked out. There we were getting tattoos together. It was great. We were both completely pleased with our tat's. The artist are from Horn Lake so go check their site, Inkstainz, out.

After the tattoos it was time for Motley Crue! I can not explain how crazy this show actually was. I remember going to Crue concerts 15 years ago and it was GREAT! What I saw last night was a whole new Motley Crue. Good but Different. The show started with a crazy clown/gobbling and two chics making out center stage. The entire show there were half naked women, topless women, and midgets running all over the place. Vince Neil ROCKED! Tommy Lee was the life of the show. There were bottles of Jager passed around throughout the show. Bottles that were provided by Tommy Lee himself. Then there was the "titty cam". Yes, it is what it sounds like. Tommy Lee on stage with a video camera and chics all through the stadium baring it all for him to broadcast on the bigscreen T.V's.

It was now time for Tommy Lee's solo performance. He left the stage and walked down the side aisle. Right in front of us. I damn near fell to my death reaching over the rail to run my hands threw his sweat drenched hair. OMG it was great!!!! I TOUCHED TOMMY LEE!! He was then connected to a harness and lifted above the crowd to a small box full of drums. It was amazing so check it out here.

So it was all great. No questions ask this had to be the best birthday I've ever had. Early, yes. But I could not have ask for more!

If you wanna check out some more pics from the motorcycles, tattoos or the concert go here.

I also want to share some more of the action from the show with you. Enjoy, Because I did.

Tommy Lee gettin' into it!

Light Show!

Girls, Girls, Girl s

INTERNET STUPIDITY

2006-03-24T12:04:00.000-06:00

I really should do this post under a "You Got Busted Biotch" but instead I am just going to take this opportunity to tell a few dumb fucktards what they should be old enough to already know.

First of all, for everyone that has a MySpace, I LOVE IT! It is wonderful to see so many people on there. I mean I have Tim McGraw and Chuck Liddell as my friends. Not to mention Phil, Ginger, Rachel, and so many other of my bloggin buddies on there. You can find friends from elementary school and read profiles of people all over the world in the blink of an eye.

With that being said, I have one question to some of the stupid ass dick licks on there. HAVE YOU LOST YOUR FUCKING MINDS? I mean come the fuck on. When some random person sends you a friend request and begins talking to you and asking you questions about your personal lives, don't you think that you should use a little bit of discretion in sharing your LIFE STORY. Women, please stop acting like a bunch of needy ass, whining about my life cuz I need more, internet whores. Here's a shock..........Just because a man on the internet tells you that he is single and you are beautiful and he will do anything for you, doesn't mean he is telling your dumb ass the truth. More than likely he is lying to you as much as you are him. Difference is this............ Your stupid enough to believe him!!!

If you enjoy whips, chains and handcuffs, COOL. If your fucking the neighbor behind your spouses back, OK. If you are a pill poppin' dope smoking hippie that likes takin it up the ass, WHOA! The point is.......... your brand new MySpace friend probally isn't the one to talk about this with. Do you know who you are talking to? Hell no you don't. It is very easy to sit behind a computer screen and write anything. Be anyone that you want to be. You can be as brave as you wish you were and believe everything that you are trying to get some stranger to. But please remember that there may be someone else on the other side of that screen that can bust your stupid ass out. So all you stupid ass needy chics need to get a grip and stop acting like whores on the internet, you should be tired after acting like a whore in your real life.

With that being said, I will be posting copies of some emails that fit perfectly into this topic, as soon as the Angry Wife of the Single Man sends them to me!!! heehee. Its going to be great!

Have a great weekend! I can't wait to see the CRUE!!

IT'S YOUR LOVE

2006-03-22T07:38:00.000-06:00

Sometimes it becomes painfully obvious that nothing in our lives is guaranteed. So to often we lose the ones that are the closet to our hearts. I have been very fortunate in my life and for that I am grateful. I didn't lose any of my immediate family members growing up. I was grown with children when I lost my grandparents.

The death of my grandfather was the most horrible experience in my life. I still can't remember much of the service. My grandmother passed away the following year, and I am sure from a broken heart. It was refreshing celebrating their wedding anniversary just months before he died. A room full of children and grandchildren, and Great grandchildren. We have all grown up and all have our lives and families. It seems like there is a huge void now that they are gone. It use to be that everyone knew where Christmas would be held and Thanksgiving and now it seems like we start planning in June, just to figure out who will see who and who isn't coming. The thread that once held everyone together isn't here anymore.

I am so far away from my family. Most of them are in northern Arkansas. (Both sides) My father lives in Alaska so we don't get to see him much either. My children don't have the opportunity to "go see" grandma and papaw whenever they want, like I did. I miss the big family gatherings and all the fun times. I look at my children and I can't imagine not being a part of everything in their lives. I guess that means I will be following them if they ever decide to "move away' haha.

We take so much for granted that I don't think we ever stop to think about how quick it can all be gone. Especially at "our" age. It is such a tragedy when a young life is cut short. New family and a fresh start is all gone in the blink of an eye. We will be attending services for such a tragedy this week. My heart goes out to this new wife and mother that has lost her "new family" and my heart hurts for the mother that will bury her child. Also to the brother and the rest of the family that will forever feel a loss, our prayers are with you.

I have experienced loss and pain at times in my life, but I have also experienced joy and love. I am once again reminded that nothing is in my control. I hope that I can be humble enough to say how grateful I am for what I have in my life. Even when I don't show it, I hope the man in my life knows that I am thankful because he never judges me, always listens to me whether I am crying or laughing, he wants my dreams to come true as much as I do, and he kisses me in the rain.

For those of you that have never heard 'It's Your Love" by Tim McGraw, find it and listen to it at least once. It is beautiful. It is a perfect description of the feeling that I have for "The Man in My Life".

Dancin' in the dark
Middle of the night
Takin' your heart
And holdin' it tight
Emotional touch
Touchin' my skin
And askin' you to do
What you've been doing all over again

Oh it's a beautiful thing
Don't think I can keep it all in
I just gotta let you know
What it is that won't let me go

It's your love
It just does something to me
It sends a shock right through me
I can't get enough
And if you wonder about the spell I'm under
Oh it's your love

Better than I was
More than I am
And all of this happened
By takin' your hand
And who I am now
Is who I wanted to be
And now that we're together
I'm stronger than ever I'm happy and free

Oh it's a beautiful thing
Don't think I can keep it all in
And if you asked me why I changed
All I gotta do is say your sweet name

It's your love
It just does something to me
It sends a shock right through me
I can't get enough
And if you wonder about the spell I'm under
Oh it's your love

Oh, Baby
Oh…

Oh it's a beautiful thing
Don't think I can keep it all in
I just gotta let you know
What it is that won't let me go

It's your love
It just does something to me
It sends a shock right through me
I can't get enough
And if you wonder about the spell I'm under
Oh it's your love
It’s Your Love,
It’s Your Love.

A BLAST FROM THE PAST

2006-03-20T13:38:00.000-06:00

For those of you that do not know this about me, I LOVE 80's HAIR BANDS!! When I say love, I mean LOVE. Poison, Brett Michaels, was going to be my first ex husband. But I had a loss of insanity for a couple years, ok 10 years, ANYWAY! I loved him, and Tesla, Whitesnake, Kixx, Guns N Roses, Cinderella, Skid Row, Def Leopard, Bon Jovi, OMG I could go on and on. You get it though, I love em'!

Well, my birthday is April the 4 and I will be making my journey through the 30's. That's right, I will turn 31 years young. I accept this challenge with grace and beauty. After all, I am a bloggin hottie!

So, of the bands that I named above and the ones I didn't but still love, there is one that I have loved above all the rest. One band that is my favorite band of all time. The band that had the most beautiful lead singer ALIVE. That band ladies and gentlemen is Motley Crue. OMG!!! Who doesn't love them? Everyone knows at least one Motley Crue song.

Motley Crue! My first obsession. The sourse of many teenage dreams. Oh, sorry! Back to the point I was trying to make. My birthday! So my wonderful husband comes home Saturday with an early birthday present for ME! I almost fainted when he handed me the tickets. TICKETS?? That's right, BOX seats to go see my men, Motley Crue. This upcoming Saturday night, here in Jackson. BUT, thats not all. Oh no! After the concert we will be attending an after party to hear my man himself, Vince Neil, perform again.

I can not wait. I am damn near tempted to break out the curling iron, tease my hair, and wear blue eyeshadow. heehee! Just joking. This week will not pass fast enough. Oh, did I mention that I love 80's hair bands??

Here's a little preview of what I get to see Saturday night!!

COUNTRY GIRL AT HEART

2006-03-17T16:28:00.000-06:00

I decided to share a couple of photo's that show my "Country Girl" side. For those of you that don't know, I love the outdoors. I like to hunt and fish. I LOVE to play co-ed softball. I own around 20 guns and I love to shoot skeet. There is just something about being outdoors that refreshes me. Plus, I told Keri that I'd post some huntin' pictures for the girls.

This is a hog hunting trip in Louisiana. There were 11 of us that entered the Hog pen. I being the ONLY woman there, exited with the second largest hog. I shot that ugly beast with a 306.

Thank you ladies and gentlemen!!!

This is me shooting skeet. I absolutely love to do this. I can't even explain the feeling that I get, but it is the most relaxing thing in the world.
(Notice the camo shirt for inspiration)

And just for the record, at my worse, I hit 9 outta 10. Yeah, yo momma can shoot.

This is the last deer that I killed. It is a 10 point, that I killed on Thanksgiving morning. It is a beautiful mount and probally the biggest deer that I have killed.

So there you have it. All my country girl pictures. And lets not forget my favorite beverage in the world........

AW, SHOULD MY FEELINGS BE HURT??

2006-03-16T12:23:00.000-06:00

Just thought I would share a comment that someone left me anonymously today. The following comment was left under my REDNECK post. Now this is classy, isn't it??

I don't know where you got these supposed Redneck characteristics, but they're all a bunch of shit. If you want to know a REAL redneck, just look in the fucking mirror at that cheezy John Deere tattoo you've got plastered on your lower back. Which by the way just extends down to your legs because you don't have an ass. Why would ANYONE think it's cute to get a tramp stamp of the fucking John Deere symbol? I know why, BECAUSE THEY'RE A FUCKING GHETTO TRAILER TRASH REDNECK!!! You have NO CLASS and NO ASS.
p.s. People like you shouldn't be allowed to reproduce.
Anonymous | Edit comment Delete comment | 03.16.06 - 11:24 am | #

Now, this is a prime example of how stupid people can actually be. I could delete it, but I instead I decided to post it for everyone to see. Whoever it is enjoys reading my blog because my tattoo post is already in the archives. Why is it that people find it so easy to talk shit while hiding? For whatever reason, it was probally for the best. I did enjoy reading Phils comment to, so I'll share it with everyone also..........

hahahahaha i just noticed the brave anonymous soul that left his/her 2cents. I wonder if they know being 'anonymous' really doesnt work they way the actual definition would led one to believe. Hmmmmmmm he probably is a redneck using dial up he/she bootleg off the phone line to his local trail park buttbuddy double wide lol. phil | Edit comment Delete comment | Email | Homepage | 03.16.06 - 1:09 pm | #

I am glad that they took the time to check out my ass. There may not be much there, but there is enough there for me to say this............

"My name is Lisa Prewitt, you are a chicken shit. If you don't like my tramp stamp tattoo, stop looking at it. Oh, you can't? Thats because as bad as you want to believe that your pathetic little insults are true, you know your just ate up with dumb ass. Since you so quickly recognized that my Redneck characteristics are a bunch of shit, then why don't you remove the tobacco from your lip, get out of bed with your brother, remove your cousins dick from your mouth and tell us all the REAL meaning of Redneck? As far as your statement about how I shouldn't reproduce, how bout this!!! How about I rip your ears off shove them in your pockets and you can hear me kicking your stupid ass!! That sound good to ya? I'm sure it'll be a pleasant change from the usual "spankings" from Daddy."

Now, everyone please excuse me while I go to my room and cry over being insulted by Anonymous. I don't know if I'll be able to get over it. Maybe I should get butt implants! Maybe I should seek out another opinion. What cha think??

SPRING BREAK

2006-03-15T11:11:00.000-06:00

Dear God, please give me the strength to make it threw Spring Break. Not only are my children arguing about everything under the sun, but every kid in the neighborhood seems to migrate to my house on a daily basis. Not that I mind this very much, with them here I know whats going on.

Our neighborhood is full of children, but there aren't any little girls Rachels age. This means that she is right in the middle of the football game. That's right, my little angel, hangin tough with the big kids. And not just the big kids, but the BOYS! Of course this ruins Zack's life. He begs me to make her stay inside. He has even resulted to bribing me.

Of course anytime there is a group of children playing there will come a point when one of them will make they blood curling scream. You know the one that every mother has heard! The scream that will send chills down your spine and make your teeth hurt. You drop everything, run towards the sound, not knowing what to expect, but hoping there won't be any blood, guts, or bones protruding outside of anyone's body.

Well, I heard this sound just the other day. It was the loudest, most high pitched squeal that I had ever heard in my life. All I could think of was Rachel out there with all the boys. I cut my bathroom break off mid stream and run out the door as if my ass were on fire. Not knowing what I was about to see, but I damn sure wasn't expecting what I was about to see.

All the kids made a circle around the "incident". I begin making my way to the center of the circle. Just as I had expected, there was my little angel. But, oh no, she was not the one making that god awful sound that had just scared the hell out of me. Rachel was standing over the BOY that was doubled over and crying. The BOY, that made the horrible mistake of kicking her bike over. I am not sure what in the world possess him to do such a thing, but I am positive that he won't make that mistake again.

If I make it threw Spring Break without any visits to the ER it will be a miracle.

REDNECK??

2006-03-14T07:15:00.000-06:00

Today boys and girls, we are going to take a deeper look into the term "Redneck". It seems that this is a very universal term and can be a very effective tool in describing certain objects or people. Growing up in the South you will hear this term quite often. But what exactly does it mean?? Well, never fear, Lisa is here. I have taken on the challenge of informing everyone the true meaning on REDNECK!

There are several key characteristics of a True Redneck. After reading these, I realized that these aren't bad characteristics to have. Wait, am I saying? Surely not! Is it possible? Could I be a redneck??? Well, lets all see what being a true Rednecks means.

# Sense of inner Peace - The true Redneck is at-peace with the world. They always feel safe (not just because they have guns in every room of their home), and they are not concerned with what others may think of their Redneck lifestyle.

# High sense of Duty and Honor - A true Redneck will defend their Sacred Honor and will not tolerate those who disparage their families, traditions or loved-ones. Many a surprised New Yorker has pondered this while visiting the Emergency Room after flipping-off a Redneck.

# Disregard for Time - A true Redneck does not respect man-made timelines and lives life one day at a time. A true redneck may put a car up on-blocks for a decade before restoring it.

# Disregard for man-made Mores - A true Redneck will follow their tastes and desires without regard for social customs and "appropriate" behavior. Because the Redneck is not constrained by outsider opinions and Madison Avenue dictates about taste, they are free to embrace whatever they like without guilt or remorse.

# Honors their Ancestors - A real redneck know details about every one of their ancestors who fought in the Civil War and American Revolution. An ardent patriot, a true redneck will always fly the Star Spangled Banner right above the Stars and Bars on every national holiday. A true redneck will also participate in ware reenactments as a way of honoring the redneck sacrifices of their ancestors.

Hmmm, I guess I do possess some of these traits. I am definitely at peace and feel safe, and I do own about 20 guns. I love my family and will defend them all. I am always late, although I have never "put a car on blocks". I love to shop and always look good, but I happiest in jeans and t-shirts. And, I am extremely proud of my grandfathers and father for fighting for our country.

So, does this make me a Redneck? Either way, it's cool with me. I guess I'll have to add this to my list of LABELS.

I decided to share a few photos I borrowed from the internet. Enjoy!

YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF:
On your job application under "SEX" you put "As often as possible".

MySpace BULLETINS

2006-03-10T07:14:00.000-06:00

As you all know, I have been hanging out at MySpace on occasion. MySpace has a little feature called Bulletin's. These bulletins seem to make their way from one side of the world to the other. If you receive a bulletin, you are suppose to answer whatever needs answering or whatever the case may be. Then you copy and paste it into your bulletins. Upon doing this, the bulletin is sent to all of your friends, they do the same and it goes to their friends, and on & on &on.....

I normally do not respond but I thought this one was fun. I'm curious to see how many people make in on the list, so I decided to move it over to Blogger World. I'll add all the names to the list from the comments. Enjoy!!

Body: 150 shots

For all you alcoholics out there this one should be easy. Name a shot but do not repeat one that is already on the list. We are trying to get to 150.

1.Alabama Slammer - Randinator
2. Third Reich = JaKe
3. Blow Job - KATIE
4.Sex on the beach...... Amy
5.Three wise men (this can be one or three shots) - Jeremy
6. Buffalo Sweat - Richard
7. Cement mixer - ThErEsA
8. Graveyard aka Jersey Turnpike - Q ball
9.Kamikaze-gInA
10.Brain Eraser -= Kristy
11. Sea Breeze -Kendra
12. Mudslide . . . JESS
13. Anti-Freeze - Johnny
14.Killer Kool-Aid : Ashley
15. Cerebral Hemorage - The Ho
16. Jolly Rancher- Vicky
17. snakebite - Jamie
@. Three Wise Men- Allan 'already on here sorry pal- King Ping'
18- Irish Car Bomb- Allan
19- Chocolate cake- Jen
20- Pool Table- King Ping
21- Jager Bomb (cuz Red Bull gives you wings!) - Erin
22- AFTERSHOCK----LEE
23: lEM0N DR0P SH0TS! -SARAH EliZABETH
24. Antifreeze--- Ryan (P2)
25. FucK mE HarD--- TONi
26. ORGASM....AJ
27. YAgerBOmb---Taylor
28. Hot Sex -----Takitta
29. Carrot Cake----CBass (message me for ingredients...truly amazing!!)
30. Water Moccasin - Katie :)
31. Buttery Nipple------Lacy
32. Surfer on Acid ~Lance~
33. Sex With an Alligator - Kassie (by the way 21 and 27 are a repeat and so are 13 and 24... So this would really only be number 31)
34. Boiler Maker- Candice
35. Scooby Snack ---Josh
36. red headed slut--liz
37. Pink Panty Dropper---Anne
38. Rocky Mountain Mother Fucker--Maria
39. flintstone vitamin--christi
40. purple hoooter- chastity
41. smurf piss-Carrie!!!!
42. cant forget TEQUILA...Carrie!
43. Niger with a golden tooth- yager and gold leaf-Carrie
44. hypnotiq-Carrie
45. Washington apple--Cassey
46. Tonsil Tickler - Lisa

IT'S A WONDERFUL DAY IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD

2006-03-08T19:38:00.000-06:00

I have had the most amazing day. Peaceful and satisfying. I start classes back soon, so until then I am enjoying the time with my family and friends. I don't think I take enough time to tell the people in my life how grateful I am to have them.

Some people spend their entire lives and never know the meaning of true love. Never know the unconditional love of a child. The sincere love of a true friend. I have been lucky enough to find all of these, and for that I am grateful.

My children are wonderful and make each day exciting. They are so full of personality and individuality that nothing compares to their presence.

My husband fulfills every need and desire that I have ever had. He knows my dreams before I dream them. Having an amazing lover is a great treat, but having an amazing lover that is also your best friend is the best gift in the world.

I have been fortunate enough to have amazing friends throughout my life. As I began my journey in life and traveled down new roads I have made new friends. Although, we couldn't share the funny stories from high school, we have made amazing new memories and stories to tell of our own. So I am thankful for all of these people in my life and all the people that are becoming a part of my life every day.

Stalkers, Liars, Wannabee's, and Psycho's Galore!!!

2006-03-07T10:07:00.000-06:00

I am so confused! Will someone please help me out? As most of you know I started a MySpace in January because Ginger had one, and I want to be like Ginger. So anyway, it seems like as soon as I finished the Pyscho story all the drama moved to MySpace. That's right. The trolls have followed again. A little more brave this time, but still making asses of themselves.

It seems like I am no longer the only target, though. Ginger and I are both DESPERATE and PYSCHO, and according to "them" we will live a MISERABLE and LONELY life. Poor us. According to a MySpace post everything in the Pyscho story is a lie. The only reason "they" look at our blogs is to catch me with my foot in my mouth. Sorry to disappoint you, but I have and will say everything over and over until you fully understand, if you are a little "slow" comprehending.

I'm not sure why the post originated. There is nothing on our MySpace about anyone from this family. Guess it was the guilt talking, huh? Now, Ginger retaliated and was then insulted and Jane Claire brought into it AGAIN. Sad. There was also another comment that was deleted because the writer apparently stepped on some toes. Seems like this person grew up in Greenville and had quite a bit to tell. There was mention of drugs and insertion of objects to obtain drugs, and the reputation of "starting shit" their entire lives. I have been trying all day to find out who this "person" is and I will before it is over.

I want to say this. What I have told on here has been things that have happened to me. I have never told stories of things that I have "heard". I have told most, but not all of the incidents surrounding Pyscho. If this upsets "them" then WHY keep giving me shit to talk about?????? Keep posting all your little "marijuana" pictures and shut the fuck up. There is no reason to read my blog, you know the story so WHY read?? You read cuz it gives you a reason to look at me!! Or my husband?? Which ever, it's fine. Read, but stop whinnying about it!

Kudos to Military Moron, although she's completely fucking stupid, at least she tried to stand up for "them", "Pyscho"!! Even if she did agree and say I was Perfect!! And keep trying girl, someday you will win that Spelling Bee. I will also keep my fingers crossed for Pyscho, since she has been in Community College for 4years, and STILL trying to get an Associates. Try hooked on Phonics, it worked for YuckMouth!

Hey Ginger, you wanna watch Law & Order, SUV and read Hat in the Cat??

How bout a BIG round of applause for Pyscho, YuckMouth and Military Moron for making the TEAM.

We are all so proud!
*Applause* *Tears of joy*

TATTOOS ANYONE???

2006-03-06T13:31:00.000-06:00

Lisa's back.........Back again!Lisa 's back.........Tell a friend!! Did ya miss me over the weekend? I took a little break for the computer. Enjoyed the weather and my fam. Awwww, I know! Yeah, I'm sweet like that. So did everyone have a wonderful weekend? Hope so.

Congrats to Ginger and the crew for their HUGE success over the weekend.

Now, topic of the day is...............................Tattoos!

You got any? I do. The first tattoo that I got is on my ankle. I got it when I was sixteen. I know young! BUT, I managed to successfully hide this from my mother until I graduated High School. Didn't want to tarnish that "perfect" image she had of me. So what is it? It's sex symbols. You know the sign for male and female. I would take a quick photo and post it, but it's a small tattoo and doesn't show up well. Anyway, it's unique and small and the perfect 1st tattoo.

This is my second tattoo. A John Deere symbol outlined in hot pink. I love it. Come to think of it, everyone loves it. Original and definitely Southern. I got this tattoo in 2003. Believe it or not, it didn't hurt at all.

This Ladies and Gents, will be my 3rd tattoo. You likey?? I knew you would. I'm thinking center of my back between my shoulder blades. I may change up the colors a little but I absolutely love this design.

So, hope everyone has a wonderful Monday. And, if there is anyone that would like to say something negative about tattoos. DON'T. No one gives a shit what you have to say. Deep down you know you want to get one, but your to big of a pansy ass to do it. So don't bother giving the "I just don't believe in defacing my body" speech. We have all heard it. Guess what? We still don't give a damn what you think. Your an idiot!

DON'T TAKE IT PERSONALLY

2006-03-03T16:10:00.000-06:00

OK, I tried the sweet family post yesterday, now I'm back to being me. There are a few things that I feel is my civic duty to point out to a few people.

First, the "lady" that jogs threw my neighborhood every morning. Spandex went out in the nineties. Yes, it's true that I to have been guilty of wearing "biker" shorts in the past. BUT, I was in the ninth grade for God's sake. STOP. NOW.

Second, to all women that have made this mistake..listen up. No one should ever, under any circumstances, where white stockings with black shoes. You should also never wear black stockings with white shoes. I mean come on. If I ever see you doing this, I will point this HUGE fashion no no out to you. I don't care where you are. Just ask the lady in Target today!

Third, since we're on fashion. Some of the newest trends are cute and stylish, but they are not for everyone. One very important rule to remember is this... If you done it the first time, DO NOT do it the second time around. And by the way, I have started a petition for everyone to sign concerning the MIS representation on a very familiar tag. You know the one that says One Size Fits All. Okie Dokie, shouldn't that say One Size Fits SOME. Its a tag people. If it's to little for you, put it back on the shelf.

Forth, do the order takers at fast food restaurants get commission on cheese? No! Then stop asking me if I want that shit on my hamburger. If I wanted a cheeseburger, I would order a cheeseburger. When I say mayo,lettuce, and pickles only. I ONLY want mayo, lettuce and pickles. Not that nasty ass yellow slime you call cheese.

Fifth, I realize that summer is rapidly approaching. With that being said, there are a lot of you out there that apparently feel the need to bake yourselves, beyond the point of being DONE, in the tanning bed. Please stop cooking your insides. Get a nice "glow" then stop!!! If your not aware of this, after awhile your skin takes on a leather look and you begin to look "fake". It's not attractive at all. And just for the record, NO ONE thinks your that naturally dark. K?

Have an awesome weekend!!!!!!!!!

THE TOPIC FOR THE DAY IS...............

2006-03-02T09:32:00.000-06:00

I have really contiplated on what I should write about today. Should I tell funny stories of the kids? O.K. here's a conversation between Zack and I after he made an F on an OPEN book test:
Me: How in God's name do you make an F on an open book test????

Zack: Maybe I had the wrong book!!!

Naw, that didn't cure my need to write. How about a conversation with Rachel(my 4 yr old) about picking up her toys.

Me: Rachel, you have to pick up your toys before we go play!

Rachel : I AAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMM!

Me: It's not nice to yell, especially at mommy.

Rachel: THEN DON'T TALK TO ME!

Me: Fine, don't talk to me.

Rachel: I AIN'T. AND DON'T LOOK AT ME EITHER. YOU HURT MY FEELIN'.

Me: *sigh*

Nope, that didn't do it either. My children are wonderful, but you must experience them "hands on" to appreciate their individuality. And you must enjoy having your picture taken to be around Rachel, huh Cara!!

Maybe a conversation with my husband:

Me: Hey, I don't look as fat today huh?

Hubby: No, I mean uh your not..uh..I'm sorr...uh...I didn't mean.....uh... I DON'T KNOW HOW TO ANSWER THAT...uhhh....I'm gonna go do the laundry.

Me: heeheeheeheeheeheehee

It's like comedy hour over here, 24-7. Now I'm gonna go visit other blogs, and be mean and scary. Holla!

I would also like to give a little shout out to all the wonderful people that told me how much they liked my site. Charred, we forgive you for the lack of the last two smacks. You can make it up to me later. MWAH! As for that one little lost sheep, ah forget it, you made yourself look bad enough.

SMACKED

2006-03-01T12:33:00.000-06:00

Today I got smacked. That's right, me. And I liked it. Charred wasn't "into" my rebel chic or my Pyschometer. It seems like the drama I write about is quite violent. ? Well, how the hell ya think I feel dealin with the shit??? I started this blog and wrote about everyday things and I enjoyed it. I also enjoy using my blog as a way to "vent" about all the bitching and griping that is a result of my blog. This way my husband gets a break. HELLO!

So, thanks to Charred for his time and his review. Of course I would prefer more than two smacks, 2, I mean come on, 2, two only gets me in the mood for more!!

Now, if you want to read about all the bitching and craziness that I call life, then continue to visit. If you want to read about babydolls and lollipops, go far, far, away.

P.S. You are all invited to the Anger Management class that Charred will be directing. Please bring alcohol of choice and current medications. Date t.b.a.

I'M SORRY, DID YOU THINK I WOULD GIVE A DAMN

2006-02-28T16:25:00.000-06:00

I must say, that when I started this blog I never imagined that it would get the attention that it has. It just a few short months I have been threatened to be sued over the content, not to mention threatened for "hurting" someone's feelings.

To tell you the truth, I only started a blog because Ginger had one. You know me, always wanting to be like someone else. Ginger, you are my hero!

Anywho, I am a little confused. Why would anyone that wasn't interested in what I had to say read my blog, DAILY? If I am hurting your feelings then why do you read it? There has been quite a controversary over my Pyscho Saga. Although, I never wrote about anything that wasn't true. It seems like the truth hurts! Alot! People continue to bitch and complain about the content of my site, yet read it everyday. If there is something that you would like to say, then just say it. Hit the comments link and write whatever it is that you want me to know. This is your chance to 'inform" me and everyone else on exactly what it is that I am missing. Is there another side to the story?

OK, I'm back from neva neva land. The point that I am trying to make is this.. Why read my shit everyday, take offense to it, complain about it, and not do a damn thing? I own the domain lisaprewitt.com. You have the option to type it in your little search engine box. You also have the option to correct me on anything that I may write that is not the truth, you don't because you know that it is all CORRECT!! You are a pyscho ass slut that has never stopped thinking of ways to be a part of our lives. The rest of you so called "secret readers" are just obsessed with my wonderfulness. Get off the internet and go to work. And your poor parents are so pathetic that they can't stop reading it either. I know they wish they had a child that wasn't a total fuck up, but what did you expect with parents like that. A mother who sleeps with her boss, and a father that can't decide if he likes dicks or chicks! Aren't you tired of footing the bill for your crackheaded ass kids, yet? Nevermind!

So, I will keep everyone informed on the "lawsuit". Ya think I should watch what I write? I didn't think so either. Fuck U!

NO THANKS, I'M DIETING!

2006-02-27T17:20:00.000-06:00

Have you ever seen anything more disgusting? I didn't think so. This is what I got after ordering "Mamma's Homemade Pasta" from the menu of a new restaurant near my home.

As you can see, we ordered "To Go". When I opened the container and saw this horrible glob of shit, I almost puked. Ben looked at me with a sigh of relief. "I am sooooo glad you didn't open that in the restaurant" he says.

I mean come on! Who in the hell would eat that? Is it just me, or did your mamma's spaghetti have red sauce, meatballs, and spices? Not shredded grass. Worse part is I spent $8.95 on this crap.

Needless to say, I ate the side salad for dinner as Zack laughed uncontrollably and ate his wonderful Hamburger and french fries. Little snot!

THANKS

2006-02-26T17:25:00.000-06:00

I would like to take a moment to tell Ginger that I had soooooooooo much fun Saturday night. It was great hanging out and talking about everyone together. Just so that everyone knows, Ginger and I have found the NEXT American Idol. That's right, everyone. As Ginger and I were mellowing out at the bar, sipping on an ice cold Diet Coke, there he was. We scrambled to take pics with our phones, but the radiant glow from his splendor prevented a clear picture. We sat there in awe of his wonder. Only three feet from us, singing and dancing, rubbing himself provocatively. Hell, he even done the splits!! That's right folks. The SPLITS! And alone the entire time. I couldn't believe that a man, any man of this stature could be alone. Not with baggy carpenter pants, a t-shirt to his knees, a dirty yet vintage style jacket and Converse tennis shoes on. He sported a buzz cut hair-do, and the ever so popular yellow stained teeth. He was a simple man. Yes, he is the NEXT AMERICAN IDOL! And we saw him first, nanny nanny boo boo:)

I hope everyone had a wonderful weekend. I did. Ginger and I ate lunch Sunday and played with my wonderful niece Dakota. Jane Claire taught her to say, "What's crackin". She is too cute. It is so amazing how much she looks like Jane Claire. There's no denying the Prewitt's!

WTF

2006-02-24T09:37:00.000-06:00

OK, I took Spanish in High School, but I didn't pay attention. So will someone please translate the comment I got yesterday from Alessandro? I'm not sure, but I think he cussed me out!

Also, I've decided to show a softer yet sweeter side of myself. So here goes... I hope everyone has a wonderful day *smiling* and a magnificent weekend. IS THAT BETTER???

Mr. Keebler has a question for all you haters out there! Don't you lie! You know you like it. I bet your hitting that pipe right now as your reading my site. Does it make the pain of knowing how wonderful I am go away???

2nd ANNUAL "YOU GOT BUSTED BIATCH" FESTIVAL

2006-02-23T09:21:00.000-06:00

I have decided to be a little "nosey" for once in my life. heehee. Anywho, I have been reading and commenting on a very interesting blog it2m. I'm sure that you all know exactly what the girls and guy are all about over there. If not, I'm not going to bother telling you. You can go find out for yourselves, it'll be more enjoyable that way. During my time there, I had the displeasure of learning about a Twatwaffle! There has been quite a bit of discussion about the exact "meaning" of the name, Twatwaffle. I figured it out. Wafflemaker + Twat= Twatwaffle. I wonder if that hurt?? Anywho, I would like to say a few words to Ms. Twatwaffle herself.

Dearest Ms. Twatwaffle, (I know its a Ms. cuz she ain't got no man)

YOU GOT BUSTED BIATCH!!!!!

Now get the fuck over it because I am sick and tired of hearing about this stupid waste of space twat shit you keep posting. Shut the damn site down like you had "planned" on. Do you have anything interesting to say? No, you just keep ranting and raving about all the wonderfullness at it2m. Let me quote you for just a second... "It's boosted my traffic and you're yesterday's news. Bah bye." A freaking booger on the screen would boost your traffic. Notice how you have single digit ass kissers??? Thats because you suck. And WTF is blah bye, must be twat talk?

You keep "blogging" about it because you are a boring piece of cow poop! Yeah, I said poop. Talking trash about it2m (I'm taking offense to it because I commented on it) is the only way in your Twatwaffle world that you get any attention from anything other than yourself. So get the waffle maker outta ya twat, go blow the Fonz, have a coke and a smile and shut the fuck up.

Just for the record, another quote from Smellytwat herself:
"If no one ever told you gals what losers you are, let me be the first."

Now Biatch, let me explain the kinda loser I am:
1. I lost my virginity! (That was a lucky son of a bitch, and unlike you I wasn't 12, in the back seat of a Pinto with my cousin)
2. I lost weight, and I look damn good.
3. I lost some money at a casino one time, but I had fun doing it.
4. I lost my cool before and beat the shit out of a psycho, self absorbed twat like yourself.

Wow, I feel better already. By the way, Twatwaffle just moved to level E on the Psychometer.

CHECK IT OUT!!!

2006-02-21T22:31:00.000-06:00

If you will all check the sidebar, you will notice a handy little link to the Pyscho Saga. This is for your convience so that everyone can stay up to date with all the stupid ass shit that this pyscho, crackheaded, cum guzzling cunt muscle has done in hopes of redemming herslef. Blah, blah, fucking blah...........

You will also notice that Ginger and I have posted the Psychometer. This is for easy diagnosis of your state of mind, as well as those around you. Please feel free to use this to your advantage. I will however like to point out the trademark, so unless you feel like being punked and pics of your stupid ass splatered all over the net, DO NOT steal my shit.

I would like to start the diagnosis section with these (un)lucky participates:
1.) Psycho herself - well at this point I would have to say she has been at the E level for quite some time.
2.) Me - Actually I just have a little PMS.
3.) Twatwaffle - From recent behavior it seems like she has definitely reached the AW level.
4.) Jennifer(my dear friend) - has been stuck at the HM level for several days now. If she approaches the AW level, I will be here to assist her.
5.) A fellow blogger that I will allow to remain nameless. Let me just say that this bitch has hit every fucking nerve in my body. Get your own fucking "ideas" and stop competing with everyone else. Notice the mininum comments? Thats because your blog fucking sucks. Anyway she is currently visiting the AW, and I am just the bitch to help her achieve this!!!

By the way, what up Psycho, Yuck Mouth and Military Moron???Holla:)

INTIMATE DETAILS

2006-02-20T19:56:00.000-06:00

It was once said that I should not be so one sided, so I decided that maybe I should find out how Yuck Mouth feels about Psycho. I was touched when Yuck Mouth shared a very intimate detail about the first night he met Psycho. Here's what Yuck Mouth himself had to say...........

ISN'T HE SPECIAL???

LABELS

2006-02-19T14:22:00.000-06:00

Whether or not anyone wants to admit it, all of our lives are filled with labels. We label our homes, cars, possessions, even family members. Some live in "good" neighborhoods and drive the "finest" cars. We all want to possess the latest fashion (although not everyone should), and we all want the popular shoes, purses, etc.

We label our children. The quiet one, the bad one, the hyper one, the creative, athletic, and how can we ever forget the "medicated" ones!

As women, we are labeled by men, society, and mostly OURSELVES. We're too fat, too skinny, jealous, bitter, insecure, independent, needy, pushy. Shall I continue? I think not.

Now, lets get real for a moment, shall we!! The meaning of some of the more popular "labels" are quite clear. When these particular labels are used everyone pretty much knows the meaning behind them. Let me share a few examples.....

1. Jane Doe is a total slut.
We all know the exact meaning behind this statement. J.Doe has a very active sex life, and probally with numerous partners.

2. Jane Doe is a psycho.
Instantly everyone will conclude that J.Doe has engaged in "not so normal" behavior, with no signs of improvement.

3. Jane Doe is a tanning bed fried, cross eyed, burnt out crackhead.
No secret here either. J.Doe has apparently lived in a tanning bed causing her to possess a near "black" complexion, she has a wandering eye, and .....Well, hell we all know what a crackhead looks like.

Now, unlike the examples I have shared above, there is one lable that is so universal that it deserves a page of its own in the dictionary. That's right, Ladies and Gents, you have all used this particular "label" at some time in your lives. I'll go out on a whim and say that you have all referred to another woman as this, maybe even yourseves. So what is it?

BITCH

The queen of all labels. I have been called this uncountable times. Yes, I have also referred to myself as this. Yes, I have called many other women and men this.

Throughout my life I have had numerous people share the same facts about me. I am never at a loss for words, I say exactly what is on my mind, I'm outspoken no matter who you are, blah blah blah. As a young adult my mother decided that it was time for her to "inform" me about me. According to her, I have been the same way my entire life. Independent, very demanding, things have to go my way, hard to please, strong willed, always gets what I want, blah blah blah.

Now, if this makes me a BITCH, I accept this label with pride. I hope every woman reading this is a bitch (except for you Psycho). I'll take being strong and secure over weak and needy, anyday!

So, if any of you are ever going to refer to another woman as a bitch because she is a stupid, no-good, trifling incompetent gutter slut, PLEASE don't. Use the correct label for her, Psycho! Let's all use the labels correctly and not take the glory away from the real "Bitches!"

PSYCHO Chapter 6

2006-02-17T13:28:00.000-06:00

It's finally here.. the day you have all been waiting for. COURT DAY!!!!! I have laughed so hard all the way home from Greenville. It was so worth getting up a 5:30 am to shower and drive two hours.

I haven't given much detail as to how these charges were obtained, so I'll give ya'll a short description of the events that led to all of this. It actually happened the weekend before my wedding. Guess she was upset that the Big Day was nearing. Ben and I, along with some friends headed to a local bar. After parking the truck we were approached by several people on the sidewalk. Words were exchanged and Yuck Mouth threw a punch, hitting me in the face. My husband came over my back after him. Within minutes there was an all out brawl. Pyscho's father was even one of them. And yeah he got his ass kicked!! They all did.

Apparently, Pyscho had to be taken to the hospital afterwards. Something about a displaced retina, blood in her urine, black eyes, basically she got her funky ass kicked. This chic had the nerve to stand in the middle of the street and scream "You will never see your kids again"! WHAT!!! I do not understand why someone, anyone would bring children into a situation. So without a doubt, she deserved those black eyes and busted lips and whatever else she "claims" was wrong with her.

Court started at 9:00am this morning, but since we had such a long drive we were moved to 10:00am. If you can believe this or not, Pyscho was demanding that I get charged with Contempt of Court because I wasn't there at nine when she thought I should be. HaHa! Can you imagine how big of an ass she must have looked like? No you can't! Because there are no words to describe this chics behavior.

I go before the judge to agree to pay $1000 in medical restitution in exchange for the dismissal of my fine and 10 days in jail. The judge gives a strict warning to all parties involved to avoid any further communication. I agree (with a smile on my face), and within moments Pyscho is standing up in the middle of court making a scene. Court was dismissed, they walk out. I am signing the necessary papers and guess what? Here they come again! Pyscho is LIVID! She begins screaming about how I have slandered her name all over the internet, and she wants me held accountable. Now let me take the time to tell everyone that I had site meter reports from the last week showing every time that Pyscho and Military Moron were logged into MY site. Added together they spent nine hours indulged in the wonder of my magnificent life. I am dying with laughter inside. Pyscho was told to shut up about six times, and even had to be warned by the bailiff. Now remember that court is OVER and she refuses to leave!!!! She continues to "flip out" about my blog. The funniest part of this was when Pyscho announced that she is going to get an attorney and sue me for slander. Slander? Ain't dat when you lie? Is yo legal name Pyscho?

Now, let me just say....... WHY are you reading it???? Because your obsessed with me. I own the rights to lisaprewitt.com and I will write about whatever I choose. If you don't like it, then don't read it. No one was complaining about looking at all the pics of me and my husband. The truth hurts. If you can't deal with it then change!

So, my attorney and I get an escort (I was scared) out of the courtroom and head to our vehicle. Guess who walks right in front of us? Guess you needed one more look at PERFECTION, huh. Let's just all pray that she'll take the $1000 and find a damn good plastic surgeon. Of course Yuck Mouth couldn't stop staring at me the entire time we were in court, but hey no-one can stop staring at me!!! I'm sure it was a pleasant change from what he is use to looking at.

That was my day today! I sit and think back at everything that has happened and wonder if I would do anything different? No, I don't think I would. I have never regretted standing up for myself, or my children. Believe it or not, I don't even care about the money. Seeing how miserable she is wishing she were me is gratification enough. I can't imagine letting something control my life to that extreme. Maybe we should all pray for her.

ITS TIME FOR A SHOUT OUT .. SO SHUT UP AND LISTEN

2006-02-16T17:17:00.000-06:00

Let me start by saying that I really appreciate all the support during the release of my new book, PSYCHO! It has taken me a long time to get to the point that I can laugh about some of this stuff. I have shared so many things that this chic put us threw, yet there is still more. However, I am going to take a break from "her" today. Instead, I'm gonna take this time to give a little "shout-out" to a few people!!!

First up, Beauty and the Beer! For any of you that have not read this blog, let me tell you as plain as I can.....YOU ARE SOOOOO MISSING OUT!!! I have laughed so hard reading her that I have damn near thrown myself into a massive asthma attack. She is the brillant author of what she calls "Shanking". Now, if there is anyone out there that has not experienced this PLEASE run don't walk to this site right now!!! I would like to take a moment to personally thank Laurie for helping me put these pyshco biotches in there place. Love ya, gurl!!!

Second, sweet little Anisa is so busy with life right now, but she has directed all of her fellow bloggers over to read about the complete and utter insanity that I call life! Thanks for helping me spread the word!

Third, is the wonderful Mary Beth! It seems like I made her Thirteen Thursday! YAY me. I am personality #67. Thanks a million babe, I am glad that you enjoy the stories. Remember, that I am taking request for the "YOU GOT BUSTED BIATCH FESTIVAL". So, if there is anyone out there that needs a Good Ole Southern bustin out, just send em' my way!!!

I am, of course, writing the next chapter now. I really hope to put a lot more humor into the last couple of chapters. AND everyone remember, that I want Meg Ryan to play me in the movie!!!

Love to you all, and again Thanks for all the support! I really needed it.

PSYCHO Chapter 5

2006-02-15T16:14:00.000-06:00

I have shared so much with everyone, and as hard as it is to believe...That's not all!! I'm gonna touch on a few more things then tell a very funny story about all of this.

Over the past three and half years this crazy hoe has filed close to twenty police reports on me. Some simply say.. "Lisa was behind me when I pulled out of Sonic today" or my favorite was when she was in front of us and slammed on her brakes in the middle of the road. The 4X4 truck behind us had to go threw the ditch to keep from hitting us, and my children were both in the back seat. Her excuse: She was afraid when she saw us so she SLAMMED on her brakes a hundred yards from a freaking stop sign. Please correct me if I'm wrong, BUT if your scared do you stop? OR KEEP FUCKING GOING??? Thankfully for her, her car is equipped with door locks. None the less she waited three weeks and then went and filed a police report on this. CRAZY!!!!

She literally made a report every time she seen either of us. Excusing the fact that she would mysteriously show up on the same aisle as we were on in Wal Mart, or she would would ride by our jobs when we were getting off. OR she came by MY house or to my neighbors house! Yeah CRAZY!!!

In May 2005 the infamous car show came to town. My best friend Jill called and wanted us to come downtown and have drinks with her. As we headed down there She called back and said that Psycho and Yuck Mouth were there, so we decided not to go. An hour later she called back and said they were gone so we drove down there. Guess what? They followed us back there. I can't go into to many details because we have court Friday, but lets just say SHIT got ugly. Yuck Mouth (yeah this is a guy) threw a punch and hit me in the face. I remember Psycho making the statement "You'll never see your kids again"!!! What followed this statement will be posted after court. At four that morning I received a phone call from her sister, Military Wife and Momma, informing me that as soon as she has her baby she will be coming to Greenville to kick my ass since I put her sister in the hospital. I ask her if she had a pen to write down my address, that way she won't waste ANY time looking for me. I am STILL waiting on this to happen.

In August I had the pleasure of spending the night in jail along with my best friend, Jill. Yeah, that's right I'm a convict. We were facing ten days in jail and a $320.00 fine for simple assault. A fight that occurred in the middle of a street, that involved 8 people (3 females and 5 males) resulted in 2 of us spending the night in jail. Cry? Hell no! Not us. We learned how to light a cigarette using a light build and toilet paper. Will I serve the remaining nine? NO! I agreed to pay $1000.00 towards her medical expenses in exchange for the fine and jail time.

I do want to take a moment and say... NEVER at any time was Psycho double teamed!!!! As a matter of fact, after the fight was broken up, me along with all of my friends went inside the bar. THEY came in there after us!! Got thrown out! Then stood in the street "waiting" for us like a bunch of idiots. Finally, they took Psycho to the hospital! And.... I'll tell ya all the details after court on Friday at 9:00a.m.!!!!!

Psycho Chapter 4

2006-02-14T11:46:00.000-06:00

I have spent the last week sharing my story of Ben's crazy EX!! I hope that you have all enjoyed reading it as much as I have enjoyed telling it. I will however, post the last chapter on Saturday. There is so much more to tell so I will get back to the good stuff.

It is so hard tring to remember everything that has happened, hell it never stops. I will have to say that Psycho actually believes that in some sick ass way that all of this proves that Ben wants her. I haven't figured out why, but she assumes that since I stand up for myself and refuse to allow her to get away with this shit, that means that I'm worried about Ben wanting her!!! Alrighty then.

Ben ended things with her October 2002. Around mid 2005 a police officer had to tell her that if she came back to Ben's parents house that she would be arrested for trespassing. First of all, its sad that she would want to come somewhere that NO-ONE wanted her at. Nevertheless, she didn't go quietly. Instead she began on a mission to keep me and Ben away from his parents house. Thats right! She decided that since she wasn't allowed over there, that we shouldn't be either. THIS IS OUR FAMILY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This continues today.

Christmas 2005- She mailed Ben's grandmother a Christmas card. I'm still at a loss for words on this one.

Ben and I were in the drive thru at the bank one day, when she showed up beside us. As she finished and pulled off she flipped me the bird. Before we could finish our transaction, her step dad and mother had shown up at the bank. We left, I dropped Ben of at work and her mother circled me like a freaking shark and then all of a sudden there was Psycho AGAIN. Now, I keep my camcorder with me at all times and I have all this on film. Psycho went to the police and charged Ben with stalking, and then called his job and told them that he was stalking her in a company vehicle. When will it end??? (By the way, this happened last summer) First of all, that bitch knew we were there when she pulled her stupid ass in that bank. And then her hustler reject mother acts just like her. They both need to get their heads shaved and start all over because that hay like shit they call hair is a total fucking mess. As soon as I can, I will be posting the video!

Since moving in September of 2005, Psycho has contacted friends of ours wanting to know where we live. She now frequents our old "hang out" in Greenville. We were visiting a couple of weeks ago, as soon as she saw us walk into our favorite sportsbar, she threw a fit. Of course I laughed uncontrollably at her failed attempt to have us thrown out. Instead, she and Yuck Mouth(her boyfriend) were told to leave. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Thats right, everyone knows the truth! Now most people would have kept their mouths shut and minded their own business. Who cares if your X is in the same place. If it still bothers you, you need to seek out professional help. But instead Psycho tries to "tell" on me and Ben. She even called the prosecuting attorney on us!!WHAT!! Have you completely lost your crack infested mind? Get a life!

Well, I'm gonna stop here for now. The best is yet to come.

To be continued................................

PSYCHO Chapter 3

2006-02-13T19:40:00.000-06:00

I have spent the last several days telling everyone about the Psycho exgirlfriend that has spent the past three years terrorizing my life. I am getting more enjoyment than I ever thought I would outta this because Psycho herself is reading my blog on a daily basis. She took the opportunity to comment the first day, but got her feelings easily hurt and has not defended herself since. Now on with the horror.............

I've shared the fake pregnancy, the annoying phone calls, the reports to the dean of my college, and the insulting of my daughter. That's just the beginning. This girl never stops thinking of shit to do to try to cause problems in my life.

For those of you that do not know, Ben and Ginger were once married. They have a beautiful little girl named Jane Claire. Psycho was as small a part of Janie's life as possible during the time that Ben was slumming with Psycho. After Ben regained his senses and kicked crackhead to the curb, she didn't go quietly. Psycho took everything she had ever given to Janie with her. Thats right, every gift was taken away from a four year old. Then she started to send Janie packages in the mail. Even after she was told not to have any contact with Janie, she continued. A year after Ben ended things, Psycho drove an hour to Janie's school and walked into her kindergarten class to try to "return" pictures she had stolen of Janie and her mother. Janie was terrified. Of course Psycho still finds nothing wrong with her behavior!!!! CRAZY!!!!!Psycho continued to send Janie packages until last year when I threatened to get an attorney.

Until we moved from Greenville in September of 2005, Psycho would ride by our house over and over. She has even flipped my son off while he and his friends were in the yard playing. She and her loser ass boyfriend even came to my house when I was outta town and tried to steal my ping pong table!! Dumb asses!

There was also the day at the gas station. Oh, yeah! Psycho began screaming and yelling at me (while locked in her car) when I pulled into a gas station. I called the police and told them she was acting a fool and I left and returned to work. Psycho and her father showed up at my job, as did the police. They were told to leave, and nothing was done. Psycho waited two days and then went to the police station and filed a report about the incident. She lied and said I threatened to "kick her ass". A warrant was issued for my arrest. Her father then contacted me and told me that if I would agree to stay away from Ben then Psycho would drop the charges. I agreed, SHE paid $50 to drop the charges and Ben and I got engaged. Funny isn't it! I thought so.

Now, I am going to take a few minutes to explain why I think Pyscho has went to such extreme. I do know that she was completely in love with Ben. Hell, she even went to Hamburg to tell Janie that she was going to fly her and her daddy to Jamaica so that she could marry him. The thing is no matter how much she was in love with Ben it doesn't change the fact that he was not in love with her. During their so called "relationship" he continued to see other people. Openly!!! Hell he even brought people back to his house while she was there. How bigger of a clue did she need??

Of course I am still trying to figure out exactly what her justification for her actions are. Why after three years she still continues to be "bothered" by me. Can anyone out there help me with this??? Maybe Psycho herself has something that she would like to say to bring all this "to light".

1st ANNUAL "YOU GOT BUSTED BIATCH" FESTIVAL

2006-02-11T12:38:00.000-06:00

First of all let me say "You are all invited to participate in any way you see fit". This will become a Blogging tradition for my site and I will be glad to accept referrals. Of course I am almost positive that there is no one else as stupid as these first two!!!

If you will take a few moments to look back at YOUR comments, there are several of you that will see comments from "Military Wife and Momma". This fellow blogger began commenting on my site in January. I wasn't concerned that her profile was private or that there weren't any photos of her, everyone has the right to a little privacy!

She commented on my blog basically every fucking day. But not only did she comment on mine, but she also commented on my friends blogs as well. All the time playing poor pitiful me. My hubby is in the war, I'm all alone!! BOO fucking HOO! But not only did she comment on all of ours acting all sweet and innocent but we also commented on hers. All while she ask for our prayers for her and her family!!!

Let me show you all one of her entries:
Friday, January 20, 2006

We have been "hooking up" since the summer of 2001 but didnt start dating (boyfriend/girlfirend) untilthe beginning of 2002. But by then we were attached at the hip!You see, we were into the mary jane scene back then and i will never forget the first time he told me he loved me. We were at a friends house sleeping on a couch pull out bed. I was acting like i was asleep and he was rubbing my hair talking to me. Saying things like, i know your asleep and cant hear me but you really mean a lot to me...etc ...i am falling in love with you...etc...I do love you! The next morning i told him that i heard everything he said to me and i that i loved him to and had for a long long time.And when he asked me to marry him, it was the most romantic way ever but very unforgetable! We were laying in bed cuddling as we always do after our "MOMENTS". He told me to stand up. So here i am standing in the middle of a bed butt naked...LMAO... He said i know i dont have a ring for you and we can make it official then but i want you to know that you are the one i want to spend the rest of my life with so will you marry me. OF course here come the tears cuz that what i had been wanting to hear for a long time. The ironic thing about it all is i do believe that i conceived our baby girl on that very same "MOMENT". We were married on September 14, 2002. the whole wedding was planed in 2 weeks! I was 2 months pregnant and two weeks later he left for the military! He wasnt able to be there for the birth of our first child on April 28, 2003, but was there about 10 hrs later. After 5 days he had to leave again. We were relocated in June of 2003. He left for Qatar (desert) in March of 04 and was gone for 6 months. Apon his return we planed for another baby which was born on September 17, 2005. Two days later he left for training for a month. Was back for a month then he left again. Even though we have been apart a lot of our marriage, it only makes us stronger as a couple. Because when we do see each other we dont want to spend our days fighting, we want to make up for lost time. Hehe!Well thats my story........whats yours????????????
posted by MilitaryWifeandMomma @ 10:22 AM 0 comments
Thursday, January 19, 2006

Now check out this post I found on a MySpace:

I remeber the first time i met Hunter. I was sitting in the dance studio of MDCC waiting to start the first day of practice in the summer of 2001. When he walked in, i immediately thought he was cute. Then once i was around him more i learned he was funny, sexy, and had an incrediable body (although some would say he is too skinny). Yes we smoked pot, so our friendship started as us riding around with other friends doing our own thing . Hands down, i fell for him very quickly. We were 'friends' for quite a while before actually saying...Will you be my girlfriend/boyfriend...LOL.
And the rest is HISTORY!

Sounds awfully similar doesn't it? Well guess why? It's the same fucking person. She openly admits to being a dope headed whore in both entries. And someone please help me, I have successfully completed 2 calculus courses in college but I don't understand how you are 2 months preganant 2 weeks after a wedding proposal IF you got preganant THAT night??? Maybe its me!! And how romantic can it be for a man to propose after he just screwed you along with three of his friends in the boys dorm room at MDCC, and starts out with "I know I don't have a ring"??? Thats because he spent all his money getting those warts you gave him removed!!!

Now you wanna know why "Military Wife and Momma" deleted her entire blog??? Because she is PSYCHO"S sister!!! Thats right, this whole time Psycho and her sister have been reading my blog. Now, if Psycho is sooooo over my husband and is little Miss Innocent then why create a secret id and read my blog???? Although I really don't mind them reading at all, its the fact that they actually commented everyday, AND with such sweet and sincere comments at that!!

Now I must say "Thank You" to them both. I can't believe they made it so easy for me to prove how FUCKING CRAZY they actually are. I have invited them to post comments in their defense if they would like to, and I am a little disappointed that instead they just hit the delete button and acted clueless. But lesson to the world "SMOKING CRACK MAKES YOU STUPID" just ask these two dumb fucks!

If anyone would like to say "hi" to Military Momma just click here!

PSYCHO! Chaper 2

2006-02-10T08:46:00.000-06:00

It seems that I stepped on some toes yesterday! I'll have to say, I was a little confused at first, but then it all came together. What I don't understand is this: If you have an opinion then share it. If you don't agree with me, say you don't. If you feel like you have something of importance to share on MY blog, feel free to. BUT don't lie about who you are, and don't hide behind some fake ass blog name. It saddens me to know that "people" actually felt the need to delete their entire blog because of the circle of lies they got caught up in. Personally, I would LOVE for anyone to prove me wrong in anything that I am saying in my STORY! I welcome comments from anyone who has something to say.

NOW ON WITH THE STORY!!!

Chapter 2

I actually thought that after the confrontation in the Ramada Inn, that things would begin to change. I was so wrong. It got worse. It all became a game to this chic. I just didn't know how far she would actually go.

I know that everyone out there has known someone that would do anything to be with someone they "loved". But how far is to far. Well, this chic did it all. Of course one of the funniest was when she faked a pregnancy. MONTHS after she was kicked to the curb. Thats right, the good ole "I'm PREGNANT" scheme. She even went to the health department with urine from someone that was pregnant, to take a test. I guess she thought that would convince Ben. Of course when she showed up at his house crying and holding "her" test results, he laughed and kicked her ass out of his yard!!

Now, before anyone ask how I know this. Well, it seems like the people involved didn't keep their secret to themselves. Psycho's only friend at the time even called us and told us what she was doing. The urine donar also told of their "plan" and those people told us to. Goes to prove that you can't trust anyone, doesn't it. Not to mention that she supposedly miscarrried, but NEVER went to a doctor.

During this time, Psycho even called me. I laughed! She began to cry and tell me that she loved him so deeply that she couldn't imagine not being with him, and that they should be together to raise this baby. I told her that Ben hated her guts and the best thing she could do was leave town. A week later, she calls me back to tell me that she was sueing me for stressing her out and making her lose her love child. Alrighty then!!!!!CRAZY!

Did you ever date someone that your family hated? Well that was how the Prewitt's felt about this chic. Anytime that Ben would visit his parents, she wasn't allowed in the house. Do you think she stayed at home? Nope! She would sit in the truck the entire time! OMG, I am not believing this, are you? But its true. She would prank call Ben's mother at all hours of the night. This is a grown ass woman acting like a 13 year old. CRAZY!

Of course one of the funny things that she use to do, was send Ben text messages about how horrible sex was with her "boyfriend". YEAH! We use to laugh our asses off reading the shit. Of course we also let everyone else read it to. She soon discovered she could send text messages from a computer and no one would know it was "her". OK. That went on for almost three years. The phone calls from private number just stopped August of last year. Little did she know, if you request phone records from your provider then the number isn't private anymore!!! GOTCHA!

Before Ben and I were married, she filed a police report claiming that I had called her job harrassing her. She said that I called to tell her that I was pregnant. Seeing how she had lost a child this was very upsetting to her. She told everyone the story, poor her!!! Then she called my ex husband to break the news to him, LISA IS PREGNANT!!! I'm sure she had to feel like a complete idiot when Satan broke the news to her that I had my tubes tied after the birth of my last child!! LOL! Caught up in another lie! But it still didn't stop her!

Then she started going to the dean of students at the college. Now, can you imagine how she must have looked. Being 24 years old, in college and complaing that her ex boyfriends new girlfriend is attending the same college? I mean come on! But not once, twice, three or even four times did this happen. I can't remember how many times she did this. She actually wanted to make a report stating that I had a martial arts background! How does she know what I have? I hadn't been involved in any martial arts classes in over 7 years. She also reported that I thought she was still calling Ben! Again, this is college!!!!!

One day she made a very racial statement about me, and was "confronted" by several students that were not to happy about this statement. I was NOT even on campus when this happened. Want to know what she did next? Went to the police station and made another police report on ME! Stating that I caused her to be "confronted" by numerous people. I WASN"T EVEN ON CAMPUS!!!!

Well, thats enough today! I'll post chapter three soon. There's so much more to tell.
Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!

IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT.......

2006-02-09T16:58:00.000-06:00

If you have not read this post you may not completely understand this. Of course you HAVE to read the comments as well to get the effect of this post!!! Enjoy! I sure did:)

It really amazes me that people have the audacity to comment stupid shit on my blog, like I give a damn. Apparently you should really do some research on IP addresses. I have tracked every comment all day and I know exactly where each one came from. SCARY ISN"T IT???

If your gonna hide behind someone else and then suddenly reveal your identity with a few stupid ass rebutals then don't bother commenting at all. And then try to cover it all up with some stupid excuse about a cousin.! Now thats original! Notice how everyone sided with ME!! Thats because I am wonderful and you are a LOSER!!!!!

My husbands ex wife and I are basically best friends and yet she even knows of the pyscho shit the X has done. So get your facts, mind your business and tell your cousin I said FUCK YOU!!! BY the way, did you think a private profile means I don't know who you are???? I have the power of technology!

Tell Psycho I said HELLO!!!!!!

PSYCHO! Chapter 1

2006-02-09T08:55:00.000-06:00

I'm not real sure where or how to start telling this story, but I thought it was time to slowly share the total hell that I have endured over the last couple of years. Although, I can not reveal to much info at this moment due to upcoming court dates. I will however share some past incidents of this person's INSANITY!

It all started 3 years ago. I was separated from Satan, and had let a very good friend of mine(Tisha) move in with me since she was also going threw a divorce. In January 2003 I was introduced to Ben at a football party. We hung out a little and after that night called each other here and there, but nothing serious. Within a week, Psycho had shown up at my job, Tisha's job, Tisha's estranged husbands job, and called my ex husband. Yeah, I know! CRAZY!!! Little did I know exactly how crazy she was!!!

Now, understand that Ben and I aren't even dating! She is just that obsessed with him, that she wants to stop it before it happens. Oh Yeah!! CRAZY!!!! For the next year I received text messages and phone calls non stop from this chic. I assumed that she would eventually get tired and move on. I was wrong. She started dating Ben's brother in law, while he was still married to Ben's sister. She called Satan every time she saw me somewhere to tell him. She sent me a text once that said "The best part of working at a funeral home is, I'll get to put make-up on you if you die" . CRAZY!!!

She then made a very horrible mistake! She referred to my daughter as a "Bastard". Words can not describe the level of pissed off that I was. I looked her fathers number up in the phone book and called him looking for her. When she wasn't there, I calmly told him what happened and ask him to make sure she understood that I would be kicking her ass, SOON.

The next night I received a phone call telling me that her "boyfriend's" band was playing at the Ramada Inn. I got in my truck, drove up there, walked in, looked around, spotted her on the dance floor, walked on the dance floor and beat her down!!!!!

That cost me $350.00! And I was glad to write the check. I only wish I could have gotten a copy of the pictures she brought to court, of her face!!! Now, do you think she learned anything? Hell no! That was only the beginning. She had just begun to!

To be continued......

OMG, HE'S JUST LIKE ME!

2006-02-07T09:18:00.000-06:00

Thursday was progress report day!!!! It seems as though Zack has found other things to do besides study. He went from all A's and B's to all C's and D's! Yeah, mama ain't happy.

Well, here is Zacks reaction when I take the cell phone (along with every game in the house):

Mom: Hand it over, there will be no more phone until these grades are brought back up!!!

Zack: Thats stealing!

Mom: HeeHee, how is this stealing?

Zack: Because you didn't pay for the phone, I bought it with my birthday money! Therefore, it is my property and you can't legally take someone else's property!!!

Mom: Whatever! Would you like for me to get a hammer and bust it?

Zack: Go ahead, that's destruction of private property.

Mom: And you have C's and D's???????

Zack has an opportunity to "earn" his things back by buying them. For each good deed, he is rewarded with a Zack Dolla! The more he earns, the more he can buy! But just as he is rewared with "dolla's" he is also punished by having them taken away. It's amazing how well this has been working so far.

ANGER MANAGEMENT, PLEASE!!

2006-02-03T09:35:00.000-06:00

Is it me? Am I just that big of a bitch? Surely, I can't be the only person that expects a "pleasant" experience while dining out? Is it to much to ask to have a waitress that understands her job duties? Don't get me wrong, I have been a waitress and I have a well deserved respect for waitress and waiters. BUT not everyone can do this job. Those who can't, shouldn't!

My restaurant criteria are quite simple. If I do not have my children with me, then DO NOT sit me beside anyone that does. Upon entering a restaurant and being ask, "smoking or non" I simply say, "I do not care, BUT do not sit me beside children". I often get looks of confusion, like that was an unreasonable request. After I have been seated, few have "messed up" and sat screamin ass kids near me. I then politely make them move them or I will leave and NOT pay for a damn thing.

Next complaint: I order one of two things to drink in every restaurant. Beer or un sweetened tea. If I am drinking tea that means I add just the right amount of sweet-n-low and lemon to make it perfect. This is an art! It never fails that just when I have achieved the perfect blend, a waitress with a watered down pitcher of tea will ruin my creation by refilling my glass BEFORE it is empty. Now the whole thing is fucked up. Leave my tea alone. If I want more I will tell you I want more. It seems that for some, refilling glasses is the only thing they can do with ease. Of course I have been known to quickly "jerk" my glass outta the way and watch the dumb ass pour tea all over the table.

Now, don't get me wrong. I have had the opportunity to have the "perfect" waitress before. Though these experiences are few and far between, I reward them well. My husband now prays for this as we enter a restaurant, he knows that if I get a "suck ass" waitress I will demand she leave my presence immediately and find someone to replace her.

A decent meal in a decent restaurant isn't cheap. I don't feel like I should have to pay for a bad experience. Most of the restaurants we visit know me by now, and believe it or not there are waitresses that won't wait on us. This is because they know they suck. Kinda like the workers at McDonalds!!

STOLEN MATERIAL

2006-02-02T10:07:00.000-06:00

OK I admit it, I stole this idea from another blog. I love themes, and I'm positive you would all appreciate me participating in this one rather than Half Nekkid Thursday!! RIGHT?

Thought so! So enjoy and please participate!!!

THIRTEEN THURSDAY

Thirteen reason I can't stick to a diet:

1. French Fries (no explanation needed)

2. Salads are better if you crumble Doritoes on top of them.

3. My four year old never finishes dessert...

4. Coors Light isn't that damn light.

5. I'm lazy.

6. Backyard Burger doesn't serve fat free burgers.

7. Backyard Burger DOES service the most amazing cobbler and ice cream.

8. Subway keeps the cookie container RIGHT BESIDE the cash register. HELLO!!!

9. When I do get up and go to the track, after I walk I'm starving and usually refurbish my lost

energy with a bag of chips and a Diet Coke.

10. There are to many damn holidays.

11. My children love pizza.

12. A Lean Cuisine meal only pisses me off, I wash it down with a Whopper and fries.

13. I love to eat.

PERFECT????

2006-01-31T16:12:00.000-06:00

So what is the perfect life? Good looking spouse, kids, nice house, decent jobs, nice vehicles, member of the PTA??? What are you suppose to do with it once you have it all? Is it ever enough? Is anyone ever satisfied? When do "we" ever stop wanting?? Are we ever content with what we have, or do we just want more??

I KNOW YOU WANNA KNOW!!!

2006-01-30T16:16:00.000-06:00

I stole this MeMe from Ginger, who stole it from Meagan, who stole it from..... Nevermind!!

1. Spell your first name backwards: asiL

2. Story behind your name: My father named me, that's the story.

3. How old are you: 30

4. Where do you live: Mississippi

5. Wallet: empty

6. Hairbrush: Are you kidding? Brush this stuff, NO WAY!!!

7. Toothbrush: White and Purple

8. Jewelry worn daily: wedding set, watch, ear-rings, necklace

9. Pillow cover: which one?

10. Sunglasses: Of course, but only cheap ones cuz I break em'

11. Favorite shirt: Ben's tees

12. Cologne/Perfume: Beautiful

13. CD in stereo right now: Nickleback, Widespread Panic, 50 cent, mp3 mix

14. Piercings: Left ear 4, Right ear 3, Belly button

15. What you are wearing now: Nike yoga pants, one of Ben's t-shirts

16. Wishing: Dream job

17. Wanting: Independent wealth

18. What will you be doing for the remainder of the day: Cleaning house, watching T.V.

20. Person you wish you could see right now: My daddy, he lives in Alaska.

21. Some of your favorite movies: Simon Birch, Man in the Moon, Goonies, ...........

22. Something you're looking forward to in the coming month? A weekend away!!!

23. The last thing you ate: Salad from Subway (everyday for lunch)

24. Something that you are deathly afraid of: Being broke

25. Do you like candles: Yeah, especially the ones that smell like cake.

26. Do you like incense: no

27. Do you like the taste of blood: WTF

28. Do you believe in love: Yes

29. Do you believe in soul mates: Yes

30. Do you believe in love at first sight: Yes! Look at your child for the first time and your in love instantly!

31. Do you believe in Heaven: Yes

32. Do you believe in God: Yes

33. What do you want done with your body when you die: Donate it to Science!!! Gotta be a good explanation behind my wonderfulness!!!haha

34. If you could have any animal for a pet, what would it be? I'd like to have the beast I was once married to in a cage to live off of the scraps I throw him!!

35. What is the longest you've ever stayed up? I dunno!

36. Can you eat with chopsticks: Does stabbing the food count?

37. What's your favorite coin: Gold dollar!

38. What are some of your favorite candies: Reese peanut butter cups

39. What's something that you wish people would understand about you? I am a very devoted person

40. What's something you wish you could understand better? My bitchy-ness

41. Who is someone that you really wish was still around? Denise

42. Who is/are your best friend/s? Gina, Jill, Terri and GeorgeAnn

43. Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? No

44. Longest relationship? 9 years

45. How many actual relationships have you been in? Not sure, they don't count after they are replaced.

46. How many people have you kissed? Hell if I know

47. Are you shy around your crush? N/A

48. Still have feelings for anyone you've been in a past relationship? Does feelings of nausea count?

49. Do you know what it feels like to be in love? yes.

50. Would you sacrifice your favorite possession for your best friends? Of course

51. Where is your favorite place to shop? Any shoe store!

53. What is your favorite thing to wear? jeans

54. What is a must have accessory? Must wear a necklace, choker, ect.

55. How much is the most you've ever spent on a single item of clothing? Can't recall ever buying a SINGLE item.

56. Who is the least fashionable person you know? I can't possible list that many people

57. Do you match your belt with your hair color?UH no, match it to my shirt you dim wit.

58. How many pairs of shoes do you own? Roughly 200

59. What is the worst trend you see today? Chics with table gut hanging all out the bottom of their shirts!! Hello! Do you own a friggin mirror?

60. Do you do drugs? Define drugs.

62. What kind of shampoo do you use? Cat Walk (Curls Rock)

64. Who was the last person that you called? Ben

65. Where did you get married? On a dock over Lake Chicot at sunset!

67. What would you change about yourself? My lack of energy

68. What are essentials in your life? Family, Coors Light, computer and friends

69. Do you send out holiday cards each year? Hell no!

God, PLEASE SEND ME THE ENERGY TO EXERCISE!

2006-01-28T22:23:00.000-06:00

I read Cara's post and laughed my ass off. Then I went to take a shower..... as I passed the mirror, completely nude, I suddenly came to a horrific realization! My legs look o.k., my arms are kinda cute for my body, but my tummy looks like a big-o piece of chewed up bubble gum. What happened to the ab muscles I once had? Oh, that's right, you can't see them because there is a HUGE layer of French Fry and Coors Light fat on top of them.

Well, that's it! Starting Monday, I will starve myself! I mean for Gods sake I am being consumed with back fat! How does fat decide that's the place it wants to make its home? Surely it can find a more interesting place. I would prefer to have fat feet instead of back fat!

MEME

2006-01-26T19:48:00.000-06:00

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what did you think? I really need to cover all this gray hair UP!

2. How much cash do you have on you? $70

3. What is a word that rhymes with "TEST"? rest

4. Favorite planet? Earth, its the only one I have "hands on" experience with.

5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone? Ben.

6. What is your favorite song right now? "This bitch is leaving me"

7. What shirt are you wearing? Widespread Panic tee

8. Do you "label" yourself? ? UUHH Yeah.....Master of the Universe!

9. Name the brand of shoes you're currently wearing now: I'm in my socks, but their Tommy Hilfilger

10. Bright or Dark Room? Dark

11. What were you doing at midnight last night? Sleeping

12. What is a saying that you say a lot? NO WAY?

13. Who told you they loved you last? Ben

14. How many days of work did you miss this week? All of em'!

15. How many rolls of film do you need to get developed? Just one. Its a roll I found when we moved so I'm not sure whats on it.

16. Favorite age you've been so far?17, no bills! But partied like a rock star.

17. What is your current desktop picture?

18. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly, which would you choose? I would fly, and make millions doing it.

19. Carmen Electra or Pam Anderson? Pam, she has way more ex's to talk about!

20.Who would you love to reunite with? Candace

21. When was the last time you said, "I am sorry?" Don't remember. I try not to do things I have to say sorry for.

22. Who has the cutest blog in your click? Ginger!

23. What did you eat last? Chicken (that I baked), corn salad, pasta and Coors Light.

24. What kind of car do you drive? 06 Toyota Camry.

25. What do you plan to accomplish this year? Depends on my interview next week.

GET OVER IT ALREADY!!

2006-01-25T14:12:00.000-06:00

I get so tired of whining ass people that I can't see straight. Who cares about a bunch of melo-dramatic bull-shit that keeps U up at night? I have always been a very strong and independent person. I am also aware that not everyone is as thick skinned as I am, but come on! Life is not fair and sometimes things don't go our way blah blah blah.......

I can remember, as an adult, having a conversation with several of my childhood runnin' buddies. I vaguely remember a certain topic that described me as being bossy and the one that always had to be in charge blah blah blah... My response to this was quite simple.............
"AND, if ya'll allowed me to boss you around and even obeyed my orders, then don't bitch now. Apparently, I was a leader and you were a follower.Did you ever bring this up then? I think not, and WHY? Because you didn't have the balls to, that's why. So, SHUT UP!!! Things should be MY way because MY way is the right way. And to clear up any misconceptions you might have...I am not bossy, I just have better ideas."

I am sure that was not the entire conversation, but that was the jest of it. Yes, it is true that my "crue" and I had several mishaps during our youthful days in good ole McGehee, Arkansas. And yes, several of those incidents involved police, ambulances, fire trucks and the occasional irrational parent. But, we always had fun. We are legends to this day. There were bitches that cringed the at the mere sight of one of our vehicles. Public officials retired early because of us. Yeah, it was great!!

With that being said. I face every day expecting the same behavior from my children. Remember..."You pay for your raising threw your kids". I have been pleasantly surprised, so far. Nothing to traumatic has happened. But I will be ready for it.

The point of this post was..... People stop bitching about everything your kids do, and your husband and your neighbors and everyone else you may come in contact with. Did you really have kids thinking they were not going to be lil piss ants at some point in their lives? Did you really get married thinking you were going to be in marital bliss every second of every day? This world is full of stupid ass people, thus resulting in stupid ass behavior. But, don't be a drama queen. Deal with it and go on, but stop whinning about it.

I feel better now.

I'M BORED!

2006-01-24T08:51:00.000-06:00

O.K. so maybe this whole "house wife" thing isn't for me. I mean honestly, if your a real "house wife" does that mean you stay home, raise kids, do house work, cook, AND DO LAUNDRY!

Yesterday, was the beginning of my first week as a stay at home mom. I'll give ya a little break down of the days events. Warning this could contain graphic material and harsh words such as clean, mop, broom, dishwasher... I know, I know! Words like that shouldn't be said all at once. I'm sorry.

Anyway, the alarm blared at 6:00a.m. (as usual) and as usual I didn't move. I didn't get up at 6 to go to work so why should I get up at 6 to stay home? Ben awakes Zack and they both dress and then attempt to arouse me enough to a give me good-bye kiss. They are successful. It was a little difficult to go back to sleep after they left, but I concentrated really hard and managed to this task in bout 4 minutes.

I arose from my deep comma like sleep around ten and decided to start my day as "Suzie Homemaker". Laundry! I'll do laundry. We have about 5 loads piled up, so Ben won't mind if I share in his lil 'task'. What the hell was I thinking. My washing machine went into complete shock. I think it was scared that a stranger had entered our home and was doing our laundry. So, in our defense the damn thing over flowed. Yeah that's right, water everywhere. I was furious! My entire kitch, pantry and laundry room contained about three inches of water. I attempted to"sweep" the water out the back door. Tip of the day: You can't sweep water in any one direction.

Now, I'm just pissed off. I get dressed, grab a book, opened the doors for "air flow" and left. I went to my favorite restaurant, ate lunch and read for a couple of hours. Surely, the floor has had time to dry, so I head back home. Nope, still wet. Dammit! Now I gotta mop. So I grab my rubber boots, rubber gloves and the instrument from hell, the mop. WHEW, this is hard work. Of course everytime I pass the stove I eye the container of cup cakes that Zack and I made Sunday night. And yes, I grab one and shove the entire thing in my face.

Finished, the water is finally gone. I did it! As I step back to admire my hard work I notice that half the cup cakes are gone as well. Maybe I should just spray the rest of them with Lysol so I won't eat anymore! NAH, I would probally just rinse them off and take my chances. O.K. so one for the road.

Is this what I have to look forward too everyday? Fuck this! Give me bumper to bumper traffic, phones ringing off the hook and a desk full of deadlines I can't meet. Kudos to all you super moms out there. Love Ya! I guess I'm just being a selfish bitch! I want to finish my degree, spend more time with the kids and have a maid. I'm worth it.

Well, enuf day dreaming for now. I wonder what we should have for dinner? Japanese sounds good, I'll make reservations!

Useless knowledge of the day: The name Wendy is made up from the book "Peter Pan".

The Psycho Saga

2006-01-21T20:22:00.000-06:00

Read the Psycho Saga in its entirety!

Start here:

Part 1

Part 2

1st Annual You Got Busted, Biatch! Festival

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

MY GUYS!!

2006-01-21T12:08:00.000-06:00

Let me introduce you to my lil man, Zack! Zackary Taylor was born December 20, 1994. He was the most beautiful baby I had ever seen. I mean just look at him. I had NEVER imagined loving someone as much as I loved him. The moment I saw his face I knew the true meaning of "Love at First Sight". I remember just staring at him forever, in amazement. How could something so perfect be MINE.

Zack was always the happiest little baby. He had an uncanning ability to make everyone around him happy. Zack started talking very early and could say small sentences by his first birthday. He impressed everyone so much with his ability to talk, he decided not to walk until 15 months. But none the less he could capture anyone's heart.

Becoming a mother at 20 wasn't exactly what I had planned. There were so many things I was suppose to do first. After having Zack, nothing else mattered. Things were exactly easy, they were down right hard for a long time, but he was my salvation. Since the day he was born, my biggest fear has always been letting him down. I want to be someone he is proud of. Someone that makes him proud of himself.

There are times when I want to pull my hair out, of course. But I know that Zack will do great things. He is super smart, but only shows it on his terms. He is handsome, funny, kind-hearted and one day will grow into a man I will always be glad to call "My Son".

This is my other guy, Ben! We met at a time in my life when I needed something good. And he was! I had been in a bad marriage for many years, he had been on a road of destruction for too long. We met and wonderful things happened. We both realized that what we had accepted in our lives was no longer acceptable. It took us a while to get all the kinks worked out, but what we have accomplished is amazing.

Here was a man that didn't care about any of the mistakes or bad decisions I had made. He loved me for me. He walked into my childrens lives and treated them as his. Watching him with his daughter only made me love him even more. Jane Claire has been a blessing in my life and family from the moment I saw her.

Ben and I faced many trials and tribulations throughout our relationship, but always found our way. The more problems we faced the stronger we became. The day Ben proposed to me was the end of my past, and the beginning of my future.

Ben and I look back at our past and smile at all the bumps in the road, laugh at all the people that tried to tear us apart, feel thankful for those that stood by us, and hurt for those we hurt along the way.

Planning our wedding, we talked about writing our own vowels. I never finished mine so we went more traditional. Ben on the other hand did write his. After we were married he gave them to me. Every time we hit one of those bumps in the road, I read them. My heart still melts, just like it did the first time.

I have finally discovered the meaning of real love. For as long as I live I will love, respect, and honor you. I promise to give you the best of myself and to ask of you no more than you can give. I promise to accept the way you are in any form or fashion. I promise to respect you as a person with your own interest, desires, and needs. And realize that they may be different sometimes but none the less important than mine. I feel in love with you for your qualities, abilities and your outlook on life and will not try to change you in any way! I promise to keep myself open to you and let you see inside the window to my personal world, and inner most feelings and secrets. I will be honest and faithful to you in body, mind and soul. I will be your friend and your life partner no matter what this world brings us. And finally I promise to love and cherish you in good times and in bad with all the love and respect I have to give and all I feel inside in the only way I know how... Completely and forever. I LOVE YOU.

So I feel pretty lucky to have such wonderful men in my life. Who wouldn't. Although it seems like we all, to often forget about all the hard times that get us to the good. The heartaches that we have all endured. The pain of being hurt or of hurting someone that loves us. The painful parts of my past, that still sting at times, have made me strong enough to accept the good, that still tickles my heart.

I FINALLY LOST IT!

2006-01-19T15:05:00.000-06:00

Yesterday was the day! I lost it. Couldn't take it anymore. I flipped out! Lost control! Went bazerk!(is that how you spell that ba- zerk?) Anyway, if its wrong Ginger will tap into my templates during the dark moments of night and change it for me.hehe

Back to my story. I completely lost control yesterday! Most of you in blog world don't know what I do for a living. So I am going to share. I am an assassinator. Just joking, gah! No, really. I am a District Franchise Manager for a tax firm. I've done this for about ten years. I have 10 offices and around 100 employees. Wait, change all of that to past tense.

Last September the franchise got new owners and I got a raise so decided to stay on. Well, the new owners have a bit of an "anger management" issue. OK I know what your thinking, "Lisa is saying this about someone else?" Before you pass judgment let me say..."I am very good at what I do" I have built my district to the top 20 nation wide, I started with 300 customers the first year and now have over 5000.

Anyway, enuf braggin!! Yesterday, I had an employee show up late. This girl has 3 children, her husband is in Iraq and doesn't send home a lot of money to her, her car is broken and she walks 30 minutes ONE way to the bus stop just to work! Well, the bus broke down and she was late. I covered for her as best I could. My boss then began to scream and cuss me like a dog! I listen for about all of 2 minutes.. When he said "I need to know what the f&@k your going to do to prevent this from happening again", I didn't say anything. Then he says "You need to get these GD idiots under control, so how you plan on doing that?"

I took a deep breath, paused and said "FUCK YOU" Lucky for him, he was on the phone. I packed up my desk and left. Of course I cried for about two hours. I have never not had a job. OMG what am I going to do, I kept asking myself.

I have been attempting to finish my second degree for years, so maybe this is the time. I kept putting it off because I was always to selfish to give up the money of full-time work. That's not a problem now, is it? Its like the lesser of two evils. Give up stability to work towards your dream.

Ginger and I talked for quite a while on the phone and she really helped me thru this. With all my craziness and circus like life, my job has always been the NORMAL part of me. Ginger, helped me realize that there's a lot more out there. Thanks girl!

And Ben has been great. First, he was like, "You want me to go defend yo honor" and I was like "UH, NO". Then last night, he wrapped his arms around me and told me that no matter what he would always be right here to support me in every decision. AWWWW! Of course I don't think he realizes our income just dropped by 65%! Does this mean I have to stop drinking so much Coors Light? Please no!

So I guess I'm going to look for another job and persue my teaching career. GAH, how much more like Ginger will I become.hehehehehehehe

Useless knowledge of the day:
The King of Hearts is the only King without a mustache.

By the way... Check out my renter. Cool site with funny stuff!

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED

2006-01-17T20:09:00.000-06:00

MISSION: DRIVE-WAY DUMP

TARGET: SHAVING CREAM SHARERS

STATUS: COMPLETE

DETAILS: At approximately 11:30p.m. MamaBird (that's me) and BabyBird (that's Zack) flew the coop. Upon reaching our destination we assessed the target and finalized the plan of attack. We quietly yet quickly unloaded the ammunition and distributed throughout said target. We then finalized our plan of attack with accessories and laughed profusely. After gathering all evidence we flew back to the coop.

OMG!! We had a blast! We smelled like total shit and were loving it. It was raining, which made it a little messy for us, but just think about all that rain on all that cow shit all night. EEWW! Zack and I were taking showers at twelve thirty, and still laughing!

We classified our mission as Top Secret and finalized with the ever so sacred "Pinky Promise" and headed off to bed. Where I laid laughing inside all night.

When morning arrived (too quickly I might add) we jumped in the car to enjoy our RIDE-BY laugh. Lemme tell ya it was great! The entire crew of snot spittin, mailbox creamin country bunkins were standing in the driveway in amazement. They looked as if a clan of aliens had visited and shit all over their lawn.

As Zack and I drove past, at 3mph, we both pointed and laughed like retarded kids. It was so funny. Zack then headed off to school and I to work. Three p.m. rolls around and Zack couldn't wait to call and let me know HE HADN'T SAID A WORD!!! Even when the bus rode by and all the kids laughed uncontrollably, he was hush hush. Gah, I didn't last a day.

Now, the question of retaliation has come up. Ginger suggests I hide in the bushes with the water hose. Zack suggests we tie our pit bull to the mail box. I, on the other hand, am too tired to care. If they have another lapse in judgement I will be purchasing the crickets.

I am also aware that everyone may not agree with our "Mission," let me say "I don't give a shit." My big mouth opionated husband doesn't either. But as I so kindly pointed out to him, "Unless you would like to feel the wrath of my fury, stay outta my way." Most kids would have ended up in a fist fight by now, my son on the other hand is more creative. Yay for him!!!!

THIS IS WAR!!!!!!!!!!

2006-01-16T17:18:00.000-06:00

For anyone that didn't read the "Revenge of the Sweetgum Road Kid s" may not understand the fury behind this post........

I am PO'd!!!!! As I was in Arkansas, gossiping about everyone under the sun with Ginger, the little nose pickers down the street were plotting against Zack and I.

When I returned home, after watching my favorite team the COLTS lose yesterday, I was tired and moody. I just wanted to crash on the couch and watch Desperate Housewives. After unpacking the truck and the UHaul, I grabbed an ice cold diet coke and a bag of cheetos and headed for the couch.

I then remembered that I was expecting my insurance check in the mail. The thought of money gave me a slight energy burst and I headed to the mailbox. As I stuck my hand inside the DARK mailbox I quickly realized something wasn't right. My entire mailbox was full of shaving cream!!!! Those little pieces of shit! I was so mad I could have ripped that thing right outta the ground.

So much for my relaxing evening with the Housewives. NO, now all I could do was ponder over what to do to them. After a little investigating, I discovered that their parents actually SENT them down there. I knew they weren't smart enough to think of it on their own.

OH, but rest assured this is war. I will not be out done by a group of inbreed, uneducated red-necks!! Oh, hell naw they will regret the day they ever crossed me. When I am threw they will be running home sucking their thumbs crying to their dead squirrel bagging mammy.

I have purchased 10 bags of cow shit fertilizer. It will cover their drive-way by morning. And I will climb into the attic to dig out my skeleton bones and tombstone from Halloween to construct the grave in the fertilizer, to symbolize my fury!!! Then I will be purchasing hundreds of crickets to release in their garage.

Oh, yeah this is war. First, they spit a wad of snot in my mailbox and now shaving cream! What are these idiots thinking??? I was very willing to keep Zack on our side of the neighborhood to prevent any more incidents, but no!!! They have started a battle and I wrote the book on this one.

And no-one need bother trying to tell me that as a parent I should over-look this and blah blah blah. I have a slightly different style of parenting. Its called team-work. I will load the wagon with all the fertilizer and Zack will tie it to his bike and pull it to their house. We TOGETHER will cover the entire drive-way, go home and hope it rains enough to make as big a mess as possible. hehe

I'll keep ya posted. Gotta take a nap so I'm fully rested for our late-night mission.

USELESS KNOWLEDGE OF THE DAY:
In every episode of Seinfeld there is a superman somewhere.

HAIR DO'S OR DON'T

2006-01-14T12:38:00.000-06:00

It has been brought to my attention , by a very observant friend, that throughout my days I have had a million hairstyles. I got to thinking about this. OMG, she's right. I'm one of these people that is willing to do whatever when it comes to hair. Hell, it will always grow back.

This is Ben and I, in Atlanta on December 30, 2005. This is my sleek look. Cute, HUH! This look is obtained with several bottles of hair goo and a steaming hot Hot Iron. I have received "battle wounds" from this particular styling ritual.

This is my natural look. This picture was taken December 31, 2005 in Atlanta. The weather is the main factor in the particular style. A sudden rain can result in ME looking like a chia pet.

O.K I had to dig deep to find this one. This is my long and orange-ish look. Forgive the nappiness I was canoeing. This was before I realized that professionals actually do a better job with color than I did.

This is another natural look. Just a whole lot shorter. I got this look after I tried to dye the above look. I wanted black hair, and thought I could achieve this with a box full of goodies purchased from Wal Mart. I ended up looking like the Undertaker from WWE. So a local hairstylist rescued my poor mane, and this was the end result of my "Cut this shit off" statement.

Although short, I really liked this "bob" i was sporting. I think it made my head look big though. But, remember my theory...............
IT WILL ALWAYS GROW BACK!!!!!!!

The growing out process does seem to take longer that the cutting off process, but it gives you chance to experiment.

Damn, my head really looks BIG!!!!!

I was pregnant with Rachel during this picture. Against all the advise of the family elders, I got my hair colored. It turned out to be one of my best. This is a caramel with butterscotch highlights, I sound like a dessert from Baskin Robins, huh.

Well, those are a few. I will however dig until I find some photos from my BIG hair days.

TAG I'M IT!!!

2006-01-13T18:18:00.000-06:00

The lovely Sarah tagged me so now I'm IT. Hey does that mean now I'm Mrs. IT???

Anyway here are my five weird habits.

1. I freak out every time I go into a bathroom and the shower door/curtain is open. UUH GROSS. Shut the damn thing. I can't stand the thought of someone being in my bathroom and looking at all the products and gadgets I use to wash my hair, scrub my ass, and scrap dead skin cells from my ever so tired feet.

2. When I eat cereal I always pour the milk first, then the cereal. Pouring COLD milk over cereal makes it limp and weak. Think about it..... cold liquid=limp product!! This happens in other situations that we are all familuliar with.

3. I don't cut my toe nails. It makes them hurt!! No, I don't have mile long toe nails. I file them. That whole cutting thing really bothers me and it makes my toes hurt. Even if I break a toe nail (yes they are long enough to break) my toe is sore. No, I don't cut my finger nails either. I have them done every 10 days, no matter what!!!

4. I love to camp, but I MUST wear a taboggin at ALL times. I have this huge fear of tiny creatures making their way into my tent and inside my ears. Can you imagine how horrible that would be? I'm getting freaked out just typing about it.

5. I have a very low tolerance for stupid people. No matter how hard I try I can't keep my cool if I come into contact with one for any amount of time. This is true for people that even look stupid, although they may not be, I instantly loose all my patience. I am working on this.

O.K. I did it. I'm not sure who to tag now though since I just started. I'll try to find 5 people and get back to ya.

100 THINGS

2006-01-11T11:16:00.001-06:00

O.K. So I thought it was time for me to enlighten everyone on the "Wonders" of myself. My brain is so clogged that you shouldn't expect any sort of organization. For some reason I can't help but think this thing should start off with "And One Time .....

1. I am the youngest of my mothers three girls

2. My oldest sister passed away shortly after birth from congested heart failure.

3. I have a hole in my heart. This was discovered during a stay at Arkansas Children's Hospital.

4. I would still be the "BABY", but my father messed all that up by having my brother when I was 9. But rest assured that I will ALWAYS be the good one.

5. My sister's goal in life has always been to drive me absolutely insane. She has damn near succeeded. Although older than me, I feel like I am always wondering "Whats Next"

6. I started playing softball when I was 7. I still play, although not as often since I can't walk for about a week after a day of co-ed ball. Not sure if this is from the physical aspect or all the beer I consume during each game.

7. I was bit of a Tomboy during my younger days. My favorite things to do was fish, hunt and ride my 3-wheeler. YES I said 3 not 4 wheeler.

8. I soon grew tired of the jeans and t-shirt statement and turned girlie.

9. I once had BIG hair. And when I say big I mean BIG. I was the queen of big hair and yes all the other girls envied me.

10. When I was 10 I set my mothers couch on fire with fire crackers. I quickly flipped the cushions over and hid my disaster for months. When my mother finally discovered the torched cushions I blame my sister, who had just left for a visit to my dad's, in Alaska!!! haha

11. In the 8th grade my sister and I both got suspended from school for throwing firecrackers on campus. Ya get the feelin' I liked fireworks?? Still do!

12. Growing up I was very close to my uncle Mac. He ran the country club in McGehee so that's where I spent damn near every waking moment. On the golf course, tennis courts or the pool I was raising total Hell.

13. I got a pink golf cart from the above named uncle for Christmas when I was 10. I accidently ran it into the pond and almost drown. It was great.

14. I need a beer now.

15. My sixth grade teacher was related to Michael Jackson. O.K. So that made me laugh but I swear its true.

16. I had a pet rabbit that could chew gum and drink from a straw.

17. My best friend growing up was Denise. Every memory of my teenage years involve her in one way or the other. And if you ask my mother SHE was the blame for all my mis-haps and bad decisions. (remember I'm the good one)

18. I LOVED high school.

19. I once convinced my 11th grade Literature teacher that she was an alcoholic. God, I couldn't make this stuff up. She even took a leave of absence.

20. I played a SMALL part in setting a fire in the chemistry room trash can and got kicked right outta there.

21. I played basketball during high school and hated it.

22. However I love football.

23. I climbed the water tower in my town. Yes, to the top. I spray painted my name and my three closest friends names across this damn thing. The cops had no prob finding the suspects in this one!!!!

24. I started smoking when I was 16. Menthol at that.

25. I caught the agri teacher dipping Skoal so I blackmailed him so that I could smoke before class. We cleverly referred to this as Nicotine Time.

26. My first vehicle was a Chevy S10. Can you imagine? And I loved it. It was a five speed with dark tinted windows and I was COOL!!!:)

27. I was voted most likely to be on a talk show with one or more of my fellow classmates that I tortured during the glory years.

28. Looking back I have realized that I was a bitch. Of course I still am. But unlike most women I don't try to be it just comes naturally.

29. I practiced martial arts.

30. I love Aerosmith..well I love Steven Tyler. I made Ben take me to see them last year for my birthday and it was great. I got to walk all the way up to the stage where I begged a security guard to pick me up, and I got to SHAKE STEVENS HAND!!! OMG I LOVE HIM.

31. My sister allowed me to name her third son. I named him Steven Tyler.

32 I have an addiction. I love to shop. Not just for myself but for anyone.

33. I own over 200 pairs of shoes.

34. I once owned every color of shoe that Keds made. Even the bright pink ones.

35. I love to shoot skeet, and I'm quite good at it.

36. I was in the military for two years.

37. I wear 5 earrings total.

38. I have two tattoos. I have sex symbols on my ankle(symbols for male and female) and I have the John Deere emblem on my lower back.

39. I have my belly button pierced. And I know I am too old for it but I refuse to
take it out.

40. I got my first tattoo when I was 16. I hid it from my mother until I moved out of her house.

41. I like to hunt.

42. During a visit to Florida, that involved a lot of alcohol, my friends and I discovered if you let a mute funnel a fifth of vodka, they can projectile vomit over ten feet.

43. I went to Galveston Island for my Senior trip.

43. My class got kicked out of a water park. I was not involved.

44. I have bungee jumped. Twice.

45. I've been cow tipping.

46. I graduated high school in May 1993.

47. I had Zack in December 1994.

48. I weighed 170 pounds at his birth. I looked like a swallowed a UPS truck.

49. I survived the ice storm of 1994 on beer and ham sandwiches, with all my friends.

50. I am not a good driver. I try to be and I want to be, but I'm not.

51. I am a good swimmer. I love the water and water sports. I learned to ski when I was 4.

52. I met my ex husband, Satan when I was 18.

53. We started dating when I was 21 and got married. We divorced when I was 28.

53. I had Rachel when I was 27.

54. My ex husband went to the same high school that my husbands ex wife teaches at.
I just confused the hell out of everyone, didn't I??

55. I have worked for the same company almost ten years.

56. I have a paralegal degree. An associates in accounting. Finishing my bachelors.

57. I have really curly hair. I don't like it.

58. I need another beer.

59. I quit smoking on Zack's first day of kindergarten.

60. I use to sub at Zacks school. This is where I discovered I could not teach lil runny nose, tattle tailing kids.

61. I taught a class at Hinds Community College last semester. I really enjoyed it.

62. I fired two people at work today.

63. I am a really good cook. I don't cook a lot but I can.

64. I hate vacuum cleaners. Not only do I hate to use them I hate to hear them.

65. Unlike Ginger, I have been into a physical fight. A few actually.

66. I have been arrested.

67. The reason for 66 was due to 65.

68. I hate snot. Any form of snot. The sight of it makes me gag.

69. My grandfather was the greatest man I ever knew.

70. I am really tired at this point, and I am considering making this my 70's list.

71. I was "detained" by a local cop because I told him his eyes looked glazed and ask if he'd been eating do-nuts. He did not find this as amusing as I did.

72. I believe that Christmas presents should be opened on Christmas morning NOT Christmas eve.

73. I once slightly poisoned my ex-husband with Visine. It was hilarious. He wished he would die almost as much as I did.

74. When Zack was a baby, we lived in Russellville, Arkansas, with our pet pig Gordy.

75. Gordy once got out on the balcony and was in grave danger of falling, I called 911. Police, ambulance and rescue teams later Gordy was safe and sound. I was then in grave danger of being arrested for mis-use of safety personnel. Seems like a pet pig is not an emergency.

76. I once got evicted from an apartment. See #75.

77. When I was 18 I foolishly entered a Tequila shooting contest, I won. I then spent a week in the hospital with a whole threw my esophagus.

78. I wrote and filed all my divorced papers. No attorneys.

79. Total cost for my divorce was $535. I paid $35 for a filing fee at the courts and $500 to Satan to sign the papers.

80. My son thinks he's a comedian.

81. My beautiful daughter, Rachel, has competed in pageants in three states. She held 7 titles at the age of two.

82. I think I have the most amazing kids ever.

83. I need another beer.

84. Ben proposed to me in Branson, MO. We were at a restaurant on top of a mountain, sitting outside under a million stars. The waiter brought a chocolate dessert to our table and a wine glass filled with a rose and my engagement ring. Ben got down on one knee and proposed. The whole place was in tears. Then we went to play miniature golf with Zack and Jane Claire.

85. I have been blessed with a beautiful step daughter, Jane Claire.

86. I have two pit bulls, Angel and Saydee.

87. I planned my entire wedding in two months.

88. The invitations for my wedding were wrong.

89. I had everyone in the wedding barefoot during the ceremony.

90. During my pre-marriage counseling I discussed my obligations as a wife with the minister. This included on whether or not it is a sin to deny your husband sex. The minister informed us that if either one wants sex the other is not suppose to refuse. I'll take my chances on this one.

91. Our wedding reception was a BLAST.

92. We had 30 thirty packs of Coors Light, and 150 jello shots.

93. Ben and I spent a week at a casino resort for our honeymoon.

94. During my honeymoon, we visited a water park, I broke my toe on a lounge chair. Hurt like hell!!!

95. After being married 3 months, Ben and I packed up and moved from Greenville to Jackson.

96. I still work for the same company as always, just with a huge promotion.

97. I fit in well here> These MF's can't drive either.

98. I miss Jane Claire every day.

99. I have to hurry up, my kids are starving. Are they ever not hungry?

100. OMG I did it. O.K something good for this one. I try to be a good friend at all times, I have been blessed with a life full of people I am glad to call friends.

Round 2

2006-01-09T13:36:00.000-06:00

I had so much fun sharing the wonders of the world with everyone, so I decided to just make it a habit.

1. Why do they use sterile needles for lethal injection?

2. If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

3. Is there ever a day when mattresses aren't on sale?

4. How do those dead bugs get into enclosed light fixtures?

5. Why is it that when you attempt to catch something thats falling off the table you always knock something else over?

6. Can a hearse driver drive a corpse in the car pool lane?

7. If Milli Vanilli fell in the woods would someone else make the sound?

8. IF MONEY DOESN'T GROW ON TREES, WHY DO BANKS HAVE BRANCHES??????

9. Why do they call it "getting fixed" if afterwards it doesn't work anymore?

10. Can you really hear yourself think?

11. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil from vegetables, what is baby oil made from. (I know this is horrible!)

12. If a cow laughed really hard, would milk come out its nose?

13. Did Adam and Eve have navals?
(I actually discussed this during my pre-marriage couseling,
and they did not have navals. They weren't born so they
didn't need them. Yeah, Ben thought I was crazy for asking
this too.)

14. Do one legged ducks swim in circles?

15. How do you know when yogurt goes bad?

16. If Fed Ex and UPS merge, would they be called Fed Up??
(This ones just for you Ginger!)

17. If a mute child swears, does his mother make him wash his hands with soap?

18. Can you throw a pyschic a surprise birthday party?

19. If your cross-eyed and have dyslexia can you read correctly?
(I am still laughing at this one?)

20. What color would a smurf turn if you choked him?

21. Who decided to put an "s" in "lisp"

22. Why are there Braille dots on the keypad of a DRIVE-UP ATM?

23. Why are small candy bars called fun-size, isn't it more fun to eat the big ones?

24. Can you cry underwater?

25. Are people that are using sign language allowed to talk with their mouths full?

26. If a criminal turns himself in, does he get the reward?

27. If a woman with one arm goes to get her nails done, does she pay half price?

28. If you don't pay your exorcist, will you get repossessed?
(We should ask Ben's ex-girlfriend this one.)

29. Do ducks sneeze?

30. Do fish ever get thirsty?

31. If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?
(My ex-husband should be happy as a lark)

32. If the energizer bunny attacks someone, will he get charged with Battery?

33. What does the K in K-Mart actually stands for?

34. Why do we press harder on the remote control when we know the batteries are going dead?

35. Do they put underwear on corpses?
(I don't wear underwear now, I sure as hell don't
want them on when I'm dead.)

36. Why does the bank charge an NSF fee when they KNOW there's no money in the account?

37. Why didn't Tarzan have a beard?

38. What was Captian Hooks name before he had a hook for a hand?

39. If someone is peeing and they die, would they keep pissing or stop?

40. Why is it when adults have multiple personalities its schizophrenia, but when a child has an imaginary friend its cute?

41. Can you breathe out your nose and mouth at the same time?

42. Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
(Another question for the ex-girlfriend)

43. Can mutes Burp?

44. Do gay bars have girls bathrooms?

45. Why can't they make the sticky stuff on envelopes taste like chocolate?

46. If you swallow a burp, does it turn into a fart?

47. Do the actors on unsolved mysteries ever get arrested cuz they look like the criminal they played?

48. Why do coffins have a lifetime guarantee?

49. Can it be cloudy and foggy at the same time?

50. When French people cuss, do they say pardon my English?

HELP

2006-01-06T21:46:00.000-06:00

Well its 9:48 pm I'm still at work and ready to kill everyone that crosses my path at this point. I've been networking computers for about 5 hours and IF I have to answer one more stupid ass question I will snap right here and now!!!!

I am in the process of opening my 10th office and wondering why the hell I do this to myself. I got so aggravated at the BellSouth guy today that I ask him if his parents were related BEFORE they got married! This dummy looked at me all confused and said "I don't THINK so!!!!!"

I thank you all for all the all the kind words I recieved about Zack and his ORDEAL. I appreciate them all. Now if you would all say a lil prayer for me to make it thru tax season I will Love You ALL.